another life taken…

ii come to you with sad news today. another life has been taken away nd its hard to believe. its like after high school you lose contact with people and when you do talk to those old friends its only thru the wonderful world of myspace nd facebook. but one thing is for sure…you never forget those .real. people that were there. Anthony Benitez was one of them. ii remember the first time we met and ii HATED him lol. he rode up in his nice azz car while we was on the bus stop. picked up Ke nd left the rest of us standing there IN THE RAIN. ii cussed him out something serious that day nd for about two months we couldnt stand each other. then one day he comes up to me nd says “Twin, ima drive you home today… pay back from the last time”… it wasnt raining nd ii damn sure wasnt at the bus stop but ii took his ride nd since that day we were cool peoples. he was the sweetest person ever nd that was the side of him that he tried to hide. but no matter how hard he tried ii think everybody got a glimpse of that pure.ness at some time or another. Benny was nothing short of amazing… nd someone took him from us too soon. ive only seen him a handful of times after ii walked outta dundalks doors for the last time 4 years ago but ii could never forget someone like him. a community .a.family. is yet again scarred by a life stolen… he will surely be missed.

RiP Anthony Benitez. 88-09 not enough yrs on this earth nd in our lives

a Queen she was

They say the good die young. I guess thats true but at 29 I suppose it was her time to go because GOD doesnt make mistakes. She was B-More’s club queen, 92Q’s baby gurl, this city’s example. She was more than just a club queen…she was a role model. She broke barriers that NO OTHER FEMALE was able to break. She had a heart for children and the Q-munity as a whole. Khia Edgerton aka K-Swift will NEVER be forgotten because her mixes will live on forever. Her memory will live on. Her influence will live on.

My prayers go out to her family as well as the Q family. B-More is hurting right now but we gotta celebrate her life. We gotta celebrate the person that she was. She was the reason for so many of our late night dance off’s in the middle of the street. She was the reason for our battle wins between club and gogo back in them dorm rooms lol. She was a true queen and her memory lives on.

Rest In Peace K-Swift… Baltimore’s one and only CLUB QUEEN

we live here…you & me.

right now ii am upset. enraged. mad. because of the world that we live in. can we really not go outside in the street without being scared for our lives?? can we really not step into a club or party without getting shot up or beat down?? is this really our reality?? we live here. this is where we call home. some friends of mine lost their cousin on sunday night. he was at a party. enjoying his self. having fun. at the end of the night he wasn’t breathing. ii didnt know him. i’ve seen him before but ii couldn’t point him out in a crowd if someone paid me. but ii know his family. ii know his cousins and his friends. ii know the people that are hurt over his death. ii know that this is not a place that ii want to live. ii know that ii dont want to call this home if people are losing their lives ridiculously. ii know that this is not the place that ii want to have children because im scared that their lives will be in danger every time they walk out of the door.

Tyrelle, Kashay, Ryeisha and family…keep yall heads up. everything happens for a reason and God wont give you more than you can handle. you too Te and Jon, im here if you need me

Rest In Peace Tariq Alston 07/13/08

a change of plans

my thoughts and prayers are with the students, faculty and staff of Randallstown High School and well as the parents, family and friends of Steve Parrish. He was a graduating senior and scheduled to walk across the stage on Sunday. Unfortunately, his life was taken from him on yesterday May 29, 2008. I can not imagine what his family and friends are going thru. To the graduating seniors of Randallstown High, especially my lil cousin Sedria, keep yall heads up. Walk across that stage proud on Sunday. I pray that he is in a much better place and that you all hold onto his memory knowing that he was supposed to be celebrating the beginning of a new chapter with you all. Dria, babes, he might have been supposed to sit on your right side on graduation day but hopefully he’s on God’s right side right now.

Congratulations to all 2008 grads!! including Shany, TJ and my bestie JazzieGurl

ii cant really say what ii am going to do or what ii am not going to do because ii dont want to be a hypocrite…but, ii am changing a lot of things in my life as of right now. im just trying to better me fa’real because ii dont want a scare like that one ii had yesterday ever again. a new month is coming and im not pledging to change over night or to completely step into this ‘holier than tho’ attitude but ii do want to be better and do better. so therefore, ii solicit your prayers yet again. and, if you will please pray that ii am able to go back to school in the fall. ii have one REALLY BIG hurdle to jump over before ii can register but ii really really want to go. and pray for my sister, Jesus knows that cheesecake every other day would be nothing short of a blessing lmao.

heart.life.

ii was thinking the other day about the turn that my life has taken. some things are not good and some things are frickin awesome. either way, ii chose not to complain. this weekend has probably been the best in a long time. actually these past few weeks have been awesome. there has been so much stuff going on but seriously, at the end of the day ii have not a care in the world. the past week or so has been rather hectic but all is well. a few people have stepped out of line and we were forced to put them back in place. a few people have tested me in the worst way. a few people have even lied to me and then had the audacity to come to me for help when shit hit the fan. but on top of all that, ii have had more fun than anything. things ar slowly falling into place in my life. things are working the way that they should and ii am happy. some exciting things are coming up in the very near future and hopefully i’ll be around to tell of more great days but even if not, everything is awesome in my life so ii have no complaints. ii heart life. ii heart the L. ii heart my bestie. ii heart my goone. ii heart my shink. ii heart honey. ii heart life and everything in it…and that, my friends, IS THE BONUS!!! lmao

Rest In Peace Talia Marie Pleasant:: you are finally free from all pain hurt and sickness. ii know that you are up in heaven with God. you are a beautiful princess.

slowly dying

ii think everyday that ii go thru this shit hurts worse. how can he chose her over me?? what is so special about her?? nothing. there cant be anything so wonderful about her. she cant be right for him so why is he with her?? it didn’t bother me when ii first found out, ii was okay. but now, ii dont know what the problem is. ii guess everyday that he spends with her is another step he’s taking away from me. ii no longer have his heart. im no longer the one that he wants and as much as it kills me to admit that to myself i have to do it. ii dont know where to go from here, there is no one else in this entire world that ii would rather be with so what else is there to do??

 

and to add insult to injury my frickin head will not stop hurting. there’s this pressure in the back of my head that wont go away. at first it just appeared after some type of exercise or activity but its been there now for two days and will not budge. it doesn’t really hurt and if ii dont pay any attention to it ii even forget its there but its annoying. whatever it is thats wrong is making me tired, ii feel sluggish and dont feel like doing anything. ii was going to call my doctor today but ii decided not to. ii hate going to doctors. if it gets any worse i’ll make an appointment but if not ii suppose ill be okay.

 

ii just dont feel like dealing with whatever is not right. when it’s my time to go, there aint no stopping it so all the extra is so unnecessary. we’ll see what happens in the very near future and take it from there. in the meantime, keep me [[and my health]] in your prayers.

farewell for now…

right now, my second family is in New Jersey bidding farewell to a beloved family member. someone’s brother, someone’s cousin, someone’s uncle, someone’s husband, someone’s father. Tons of hugs and kisses go out to Portia and Uncle William during this time, ii lovezz you guys bunches.

R.I.P Uncle Ronald, you will be missed.

no longer afraid

if you would’ve asked me a few weeks ago, even a few days ago, what my greatest fear was ii would quickly tell you it was death. ask me today and you would find a different answer. ii guess somewhere along the line ii got used to it. of course, death is never an easy thing to deal with but when you learn to accept it it becomes easier to face. my bestie’s family lost someone close to them last night/this morning and when ii heard the news ii was a lil sad for them but ii knew that it would be okay. maybe the fact that we all knew it was going to happen made it a lil easier for everyone. even still, ii think about all the people that we have lost over the past six months and ii see a whole lot of growth in just my outlook alone. ii know that time will come when ii am forced to bid farewell to the people ii love and ii thank God so much for growing me up and allowing me to trust more in Him.

to all those we have lost in the past six months [[brielle, cornell, bishop, aunt anne and uncle ronald]] rest in peace. one love.

ii am no longer afraid of losing the people that ii hold dear. of course, ii want to put it off for as long as possible but ii am not scared of having to let some people go.

ya win some, ya lose some

March 1st was one helluva day…

At 4:54 pm my coworker and friend Teia had her baby boy D’Angelo aka My Dilly lolzz. We waited for him to enter into this world and finally our waiting is here. I cant wait to go see him and spoil him and all that good stuff. YaY!!

Also, on Saturday our family had to bid farewell to a very good friend. Aunt Anne was one of a kind but we’ll see her again when its our time to go. I’m praying for my Kev*Out and the fam and hoping that my auntie Boone stays strong for them all. Good news is:: we know she’s in a better place.

R.I.P Anne…one love

caught me by surprise

Today started out as an okay day. I was tired and had a lot on my mind but it wasn’t a bad day. Things were good and so I decided to email a friend that I haven’t seen a while (totally her fault by the way). We discussed a few things and then right before lunch I get this email saying that she had to tell me something. What is it?? Now, I did not think that it would be anything bad. I figured she was about to share a personal life story to go along with the topic of the day but she tricked me cause the next three words I read was ~Askew William passed~ ok, do not tell me that. No, I dont wanna know. You shouldn’t have told me at all. I tried my hardest to ignore it but I just kept going back to that email and reading those same three words over and over again. There go them damn tears again. Im sitting here looking at Cornell’s pic on my desk wondering why in the world God would take both of them from us. Was He not satisfied with just one?? Maybe Cornell wanted Askew with him up there just like he was with him down here. Maybe God put them together for a reason and wanted them to remain together even after life on this Earth was over. I may not ever understand or be able to deal with the fact that two wonderful great people have been taken from us but I know that God has a plan that I dont have to understand. I was looking forward to seeing his beautiful smile again and hearing his voice and now all we have are memories. I can still see him at that organ with them arms just flying everywhere lol. You would not believe how many services me and Shay were so scared he was gonna fall backwards off that bench lol. Man, I loved me some Askew and now that he is gone I dont know what we are going to do. I’m keeping his family in my prayers and I know that Cornell is taking care of him up in heaven, they gonna give them angels up there a run for their money lol.

Rest In Peace Bishop ~ give Cornell kisses for me