[{GRaViTY}]

the funny emergency

Posted in Baltimore, blessings, decisions, FOOD!!, Marine Corps., phunni moments, the [[OUTZZ]] of my life... by Tanae' A. on December 24, 2008

so…ii like finally have time to actually sit down in front of a computer so im like happy go lucky. ii have been waiting to write a post about this for a few days now and really did not feel like using my phone to do is so now you all can enjoy the funniness with me. as you all know, my sister graduated boot camp two weeks after me. ii dreaded taking the long trip back to the Island but ii promised my senior drill instructor that ii would go so me, mommy, bestie and uncle hopped in the truck for the ten hour drive back to Parris Island. the drive there was cool. we were all on chills. by the time we got there ii began to dread the L O N G trip back but ii made it my business to enjoy my second visit to the island. the weather was dead nice so the entire two days went smoothly. after MY graduation ii had the priviledge of going to Golden Corale where the Marines eat free and ii was like so super excited about that. by me being the wonderful, concerned, hearty sister that ii am ii suggested that we all go back after her ceremony but everyone was so anxious to get back on the road so my idea was flushed down the drain. [[now one may think that Golden Corale has nothing at all to do with an emergency since we did not go but this my friends is the most crucial piece of information in this story. so keep in the membrane that we DID NOT go to Golden Corale to eat dinner after ii suggested it about one hundred times]] although ii was hungry ii decided not to put up a fight because, after all, this was Shays day and not mine so we were going to go along with whatever she wanted to do. ii put a smile on my face and got ready for the ride home. ii figured since ii couldnt eat right then ii would snack on some chips in the process. we get on the road and we are about a good fifteen minutes from the Island. all of a sudden ii get this pain in my back and in my chest. ii couldnt breathe or nothing. please.pull.over.right.now. about ten minutes later im on the side of the road laying on a blanket cause it hurts to much to stand up, no shoes on cause we are about to ride for ten hours and just looking jacked up. mommy and uncle are scared shitless and the only thing they know how to do is call 9-1-1. yall, ii thought ii was going to die that day. we get in the ambulance and by the time we get to the hospital the pain has subsided a little bit but they still want to run tests or whatever. so we get there and they check everything and give me this medication to take. about twenty minutes after we get to the hospital we are discharged and my diag-nonsense is acid reflex. lol. they gave me some medication to take when ii eat greasy foods and stuff but other than that ii would survive. NOW. although this story is quite funny…ii have a HUGE chip on my shoulder. yes. ii am holding a grudge. towards who, might you ask. MOMMY, UNCLE, SHAY && BESTIE. if we would have stopped at Golden Corale to get a full five course meal and then got on the road then ii would not have had to cure my hunger with utz sour cream and onion chips. if ii would not have had to eat chips then ii would not have had a sudden case of acid reflex. if ii had not had the sudden case of acid reflex we would not have had to hold off our drive home for an entire hour. BUT sense we ended up having an hour delay in our schedule anyway…we would have been better off just going to effin golden corale. does everyone see how that one little minor decision has negatively effected the rest of my life?? lol. but seriously…bet ya next time im hungry we’ll stop to eat. but thank Jesus that it was only acid reflex and thank Him even more that the rush to the hospital, the twenty minutes in the ER and the prescription that they shoved in my face all came up to zero dollars. uugghh. must love free medical and dental!!!

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ya gurl did it!!!

Posted in decisions, life, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on November 30, 2008

yup thats right….im a United State’s MARINE!!!

towards the end

Posted in decisions, family, friends, G-D, life, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on July 24, 2008
There are certain people in my life whose opinion I really kinda value. Not necessarily because of the positions that they hold but moreso because of the role that they have played in my life and continue to play. I tend to take a lot of people’s feelings into consideration when it comes to doing things in my life even if it means completely going against what it is that I want to do. Needless to say, usually I end up wondering what would have or could have happened if I would have just went with my heart. So that’s what I’m doing now. I’m going with my heart. I’m looking to God for guidance and I’m doing what’s right for me. Right now I’m on a journey to be something better. A journey that will open doors for me in the long run. It’s hard and every day I think about backing out but what is the alternative. Why continue to stay in the position that you are on because of fear or uncertainty?? While I’m scared and uncertain about whats to come I’m more excited about anything. I’m excited that I have a new life ahead of me. I’m excited that I am going on to do great and wonderful things and if no one else is proud of me I know that I am proud of me. I’m proud of the step that I have chosen to take and I am proud of the things that I have yet to accomplish. The closer that I get to the end of the countdown, the more excited I get. The more confident I become. The more sure of my decision I am. I am praying more now than EVER and truely making sure that God is in my corner but for now I’m just taking things one day at a time. There’s a lot going on in my life right now but it’s all good things that will benefit me in the long run. I’m finding stability in every single aspect of my life and it feels really good. I have something there. Something guaranteed. Something to fall back on and I love it. I love this life. I love the people in my life. And more that anything I love the discomfort because when you are too comfortable that means that something is not right. I’m moving forward and doing great things. Eventually, probably towards the end of this journey, I will let you all know what exactly is going on but for now…just keep me in your prayers.

happy.sad.kinda glad.

Posted in decisions, family, friends, frustrations, issues, life, love, people I love, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on July 18, 2008
today muh almost favorite goonie, KRiS, is coming down and ii am so so so excited. ii havent seen her in too long and we can finally have a REAL gurls night with ALL the chix. and muh goonies, JesSA, is celebrating her birthday on tuesday. ii know its so unethical to party on a tuesday night but we are going to p a R T y ! ! ! !
my lil cuzzo Sedi and their fam is going thru. the next few days are going to be hard for them but more hard on her than anyone. she’ll be okay tho. she just has to remember to trust GoD thru it all. ii know how much Jasmine meant to her. she was more than just a pet, she was a part of their family and she will be missed. Love You Miss Moo Moo lol.
my lil sis Dre is going thru right now too. she’s tryin to put on her gangsta face but ii know she’s afraid of what the outcome is going to be. ii think she feels okay knowing that she has us there to support her no matter what. she’s gonna be alright…ii believe that.
there’s a chik that ii lovezz with ALL my heart. her name is Crystal. a few years ago we became really close thru a ministry that we were trying to start. Crystal is strong. she can make it thru anything even when she thinks she cant. im praying for her. not that she gets thru, because ii know that God is already bringing her thru, but im praying that she holds on to that strength and more than that im praying that ii may be a help to her during this time.
TroyBoy ::sigh:: ii wish ii could just leave it at that. TroyBoy is leaving me. he is going to VA for a job and part of me is happy. part of me is sad. part of me just doesn’t care. happy:: because its something good for him. a new start and a clean get-away from all the craziness here. sad:: because he’s not here in b-more. so its not that simple on days that ii want to see him to just say come over lets chill. indifferent:: because we are both at a point in our lives where we are pretty much going our own seperate ways. if he were to stay in b-more ii would be leaving him behind and if ii were to stay where ii am he would be leaving me. but we both are moving forward with life and maybe one day shit will follow thru but for now we just trying to live life the best way that we can. the other day he pretty much poured his heart out to me. i’ve known how hes felt about me for some time now but when you hear the words its somehow different. ii didnt know how to tell him that ii love him too. ii didnt know how to tell him that somewhere in my heart is a space for him. maybe one day ill be able to tell him that but for now im okay with how things are.
ii talked to LeyLey the other day….so how did that go?? fairly well. how do ii feel about it?? okay ii suppose. will it happen again?? no. ii told her that she can call me before ii leave and that ii would answer just for her but if she just so happens not to call… ii wont be seeing her or talking to her EVER again and honestly…thats a relief to me. it hurts of course but ii feel good about it. ii feel that same relief for that one other person whose name ii refuse to speak out loud. ii feel like for so long ii was the one being left behind but now im not. now im the one doing the leaving and sooner or later that is going to sink in. and when it does. ill be long gone. damn.that feels super good lmao.
last thing and then im done. Nas has a new cd out as of last week. DO NOT SLEEP ON NAS. seriously. that dude is dope boy fresh. he is hottness. straight up…NAS IS A BEAST!!! cop his cd. you have got to hear it. put the carter three to the side for just a minute and let that Nas just rotate a lil bit. see if it aint realness.

fat.thumb.issues

Posted in church, decisions, family, friends, frustrations, issues, life, people I love, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on June 23, 2008
yesterday was probably the FUNNIEST most ANNOYING day EVER!!! after early service we decided to take a trip to Burger King to get some breakfast. there was only two cars in front of us so we were thinking that the wait wouldnt be long at all…NOT. first off, the manager was so damn disrespectful it was ridiculous. ii was tryna piss her off so ii ordered a whole bunch of food that nobody really wanted. it really worked too cause she was heated by the time we drove around to the second window lmao. but ii guess karma is a big headed b. cause we ended up waiting for 40 minutes just to get our food. thanks to the lady with the family van who decided to order eight hundred meals for all her kids. but. by the time 10:30 hit we knew we had to get back to the church in 15 minutes or else SOMEONE would be in trouble. we got our food at 10:30 and ii literally sped up North Point just to get there in time. needless to say that there are people that actually drive the speed limit and those people slowed me down so we didnt get there til 10:47 and that was two minutes too late. anyways…ii ate ALL THE FOOD like a big fattie and it was delicious lolzz.
 then. after second service me and Shay goes home to eat some crabs. we eating them and ii get to the second to last one and then the inevitable happens… fricking claw clawed me. stuck me right in my damn thumb. im telling ya.it hurt like crap. and the seasoning only made it burn more but ii kept eating my crabs lol. ii didnt really realize until last night that it really is swollen a little bit and now ii have a fat thumb that really starts to hurt when ii squeeze it lmao.
ii am actually irritated for a number of reasons. at first ii was upset with my mother but then ii talked to someone who could better explain things so now im cool with her. ii understand her for like once in life and im gonna allow her to sulk for a while. she’ll come around eventually. now….the REAL reason for my irritation is money… well of course it is. thats the only thing that irritates me. well. ii am going to be really honest right now about the plans that got crushed. this weekend is our annual PCIF conference. of course.last year ii was so not excited about this but this year it is what it is. BUT.ii called myself trying to beat the system and get around paying but FOR SOME REASON they aren’t doing things the same as last year so I HAVE TO PAY THE REGISTRATION FEE and do you know what this means?? ii refuse to stay in a hotel room. that would be 200 dollars out of my pocket that ii could spend on like THE FIVE HUNDRED DOLLAR GAS or something like that. so.this weekend ii am going to be taking Chelley to the banquet on Friday night and ill prob shill out by the bool or something until that is over with. then ill drive ALL THE WAY home to get a good nights sleep. then on saturday ill DRIVE ALL THE WAY BACK for whatever is going on that day. ii figured that an extra round trip is not going to cost me 129 dollars in gas…maybe around 40 tops. so ii am actually SAVING MONEY…hey.it feels damn good lmao. so…thats my issue for this weekend. oh.and ii have three days until Thursday gets here and ii am ssoo excited. you’ll find out sooner or later whats going on but for now just know that ii am excited about it. and EVERYONE knows that ii HATE thursdays with a passion but this Thursday is going to be a good effin day. lmao. ii hope so at least. keep praying for me and all my issues lmao.
other than all the fat.thumb.issues muh life is great. ii am realizing more and more each day that ii gots the best friends.fam.support that ANYONE could EVER ask for so ii know that ii am blessed and ii wouldnt trade ANY of them in for the world.

second best

Posted in decisions, FOOD!!, friends, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on June 19, 2008
everyone knows how ii feel about Papa Johns… its my all time favorite pizza EVER. get me some and ill love you for life.honestly. so.of course no one can ever top them but someone was kinda close last night. guess who?? none other than Pizza Johns on Back River Neck. now.understand.this is nothing new at all. ii have always liked their pizza but. for some reason last night it was just extra extra good. perhaps it was the fact that ii was dying of starvation or maybe even the fact that ii went with the most important people. or maybe just because ii haven’t been in like forever. but whatever the reason.the pizza was ssoo good. of course they could never top Papa Johns but they can surely be second best.

my {{possible}} departure

Posted in decisions, family by Tanae' A. on June 4, 2008
ii guess you cant stay anywhere forever. after while you must move on and venture off to other places. finally, im ready to do that. i’ll never forget my ‘family’ and i’ll always be back to that place ii call ‘home’ but it’s time to move on. maybe one day i’ll be back…return back to the place that ii thought ii was supposed to be and maybe one day ill just be considered another visitor but either way, i’m leaving soon enough. when stuff like this happens ii think back to my first ‘home’ and ii was sad to go but at the end of the day ii knew that ii had made the right choice and even still ii know that ii can always go back there and feel like ii belong and know that i’ll alwyas be considered ‘family’ no matter what. ii dont know yet tho. ii feel like its time to move on tho.

dont lose sight of yaself tryna find something else

Posted in decisions, life, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on June 3, 2008
…thats my new quote. feel free to borrow it, the cost is $5.00 per word. [[sorry yall, gas is too high]] anyways, that came to my mind on yesterday after a very interesting conversation with someone.
ii remember back to them days when ii was fresh outta high school [[seems like forever ago now]] but ii was a wild child. ii wanted to party, have fun and do anything that ii was bold enough to do. now, im not soo bold. sure, ii love to have my fun every once in a while but there comes a time when the partying gets a lil old. ii guess thats why im starting to look at things differently. im just tired of the every day thing…lets get together every other weekend with some crabs and a hand of spades, and throw in some henney or pina coladas for good measure but thats all the fun ii can handle. dont get me wrong, ii aint tapping out of the game just yet, but some things need to change. fun three years ago aint fun to me anymore. now fun, is chilling in a relaxed environment and just having a good nice RELAXED time. sure, there are going to be some weekends that ii will crave the hype and when that happens you better believe ima be out there doing me. every once in a while ii might feel like stepping out for a night on the town or doing something crazy wit the gurls but for right now im on chills. getting my priorities together and getting my self together so ii can be on my A game when the party is over. most of these dummies out here wanna party all summer and then think that when winter come they can hop up like aint nothing wrong…well ii wont be caught in that crowd again. im planning ahead. yeah, im looking for a good time…im still all about money and fun but at the end of the day ii refuse to lose myself or lose sight of my goals over a few moments of fun…

decisions

Posted in decisions, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on May 22, 2008
ok, so yesterday was a crazy kinda day but ii got thru it in one piece and ii am so glad that it ended the way it did. right now, ii have a few decisions to make that could very well affect the rest of my life…haha, just kidding, it might affect next week but thats about it.
first decision:: it involves TroyBoy. he is most likely going to be moving out of state for a job. this is a good thing people. not only is he benefitting greatly from this opportunity but im also free!! lolzz. ii just feel so tied to him all the time, like im obligated to spend time with him and be around him. finally, there is a legitimate reason to excuse not spending time with him. so what is the decision?? am ii going to spend time with him before he leaves?? okay, first off, this dude is leaving and there is no telling when he is coming back so ii dont want to just hang out, if we hanging ii want to be pampered lmao. ii say this as if im the one moving lmao.but anyways, ii think im leaning more towards not hanging even tho ii know that would be so disrespectful.
second decision:: for my name’s sake ii am going to keep this one very simple. ii dont want anyone looking at me differently because of anything ii decide to do. ii really am a good girl lolzz. ok, the idiot in ohio used to be really good friends with a certain person before me and him even thought about dating. they are not friends anymore, prob haven’t seen each other in over a year. just recently me and this certain person kinda became really good friends, we have a lot in common and we talk a lot about random things which is really stupid lol. but anyways, the past few weeks the conversations have kinda taken a turn. needless to say that both of us are in the same situation as far as relationships are concerned. but, the issue comes, what if the idiot in ohio finds out about us?? thats so disrespectful first of all and second of all ii would be uncomfortable around him knowing that im giving his ex-friend something that belongs to him. so now ii have to think about what ii want to happen with cp even tho we both know it would be nothing more than a summer fling. uurrgghh.
third decision:: what am ii wearing tonite?? ok, ii thought ii had something to wear and then ii tried it on last night and hated it so now ii have to go to the mall after work to find a top to put on. and the fact that its forty degrees in the middle of may is not helping me out at all.  ::sigh::

uurrgghh…the pressure

Posted in car, decisions, issues, life, money, school, Tae', work, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on May 8, 2008
ok…i’m Tanae’. plain and simple. ii do what ii want, when ii want and if ii dont want to do something then ii wont do it. so why in the world are there people that continue to force me to do shit that ii dont want to do…YES II AM TALKING ABOUT SCHOOL. okay, okay…this is the point where you sigh and hang your head. ii know what the plan was, ii created it. ii know what the goal was, ii made it up. ii know what everyone was expecting….but oh.well. this is whats happening. first of all…gas is exactly three dollars and fifty seven cents as of 7:45 this morning. therefore driving to work everyday would force me to put gas in my tank at least three times a week. now lets average this out and weigh the options. as far as im concerned, a half tank in Bobby is like E so ii never let it get past that middle mark. if im exactly on a half tank it takes twenty to get me filled up. right now, i fill up ONCE A WEEK and that gets me every where ii need to go after work hours. ii also pay for a weekly bus pass which runs me 16.50…we can round that to twenty if you would like. so thats forty dollars of transportation in one week if i take the bus to work everyday. now, with the whole gas thing in mind, if ii fill up three times a week thats already sixty dollars in one week…plus parking. everyone knows that parking is not cheap in the city. so now, take that sixty and add a good ten to twenty dollars to it depending on where ii park at and that is 70 to 80 bucks out of my pocket every week…JUST TO DRIVE TO WORK!! i’ll take MTA. now, what does this have to do with school at all?? the original plan was to go to Sojourner Douglass College, of course that plan was put into motion before ii got my car and the plan was to drive. well, at that time ii wasn’t thinking of the financial aspect of it. anyways, if ii were to go to SDC which is two seconds from my job ii would have to drive to work everyday. so, ii started thinking a lil more reasonably. if ii go back to CCBC ii would only have to drive right up the street from my house to go to class…so after ii get off the bus ii can walk to my house, eat then get in my car and drive three minutes up the street. ok, so whats the problem. really there is none. ii want to go to CCBC and thats where ill go in the fall and everyone is okay with that except for the well-educated older cousin. sorry honey, im doing things my way. ii actually owe CCBC a couple [[hundred]] dollars but that should be in the clear by the time registration gets here. that just means that ii have to start saving up some money so that ii can have enough money to cover books if ii dont get the financial aid that ii am desperately praying for. ii just dont like feeling pressured to do something that ii dont want to do. ii want to go to CCBC and ii am well aware of the fact that it is not a four year college but its a start and if im going back then ii might as well start somewhere that im comfortable. it may not be what you prefer but im going the way ii want to go because thats the road im going to stay on. if ii try to do everyone elses way ii wont finish like ii should so everyone who dont like it can fall back…oh.boo.you this is MY life.