[{GRaViTY}]

another life taken…

Posted in back track, death, hurt, lost one by Tanae' A. on June 4, 2009

ii come to you with sad news today. another life has been taken away nd its hard to believe. its like after high school you lose contact with people and when you do talk to those old friends its only thru the wonderful world of myspace nd facebook. but one thing is for sure…you never forget those .real. people that were there. Anthony Benitez was one of them. ii remember the first time we met and ii HATED him lol. he rode up in his nice azz car while we was on the bus stop. picked up Ke nd left the rest of us standing there IN THE RAIN. ii cussed him out something serious that day nd for about two months we couldnt stand each other. then one day he comes up to me nd says “Twin, ima drive you home today… pay back from the last time”… it wasnt raining nd ii damn sure wasnt at the bus stop but ii took his ride nd since that day we were cool peoples. he was the sweetest person ever nd that was the side of him that he tried to hide. but no matter how hard he tried ii think everybody got a glimpse of that pure.ness at some time or another. Benny was nothing short of amazing… nd someone took him from us too soon. ive only seen him a handful of times after ii walked outta dundalks doors for the last time 4 years ago but ii could never forget someone like him. a community .a.family. is yet again scarred by a life stolen… he will surely be missed.

RiP Anthony Benitez. 88-09 not enough yrs on this earth nd in our lives

Advertisements

we live here…you & me.

Posted in death, family, friends, im so over it, lost one, people I love by Tanae' A. on July 15, 2008
right now ii am upset. enraged. mad. because of the world that we live in. can we really not go outside in the street without being scared for our lives?? can we really not step into a club or party without getting shot up or beat down?? is this really our reality?? we live here. this is where we call home. some friends of mine lost their cousin on sunday night. he was at a party. enjoying his self. having fun. at the end of the night he wasn’t breathing. ii didnt know him. i’ve seen him before but ii couldn’t point him out in a crowd if someone paid me. but ii know his family. ii know his cousins and his friends. ii know the people that are hurt over his death. ii know that this is not a place that ii want to live. ii know that ii dont want to call this home if people are losing their lives ridiculously. ii know that this is not the place that ii want to have children because im scared that their lives will be in danger every time they walk out of the door.
Tyrelle, Kashay, Ryeisha and family…keep yall heads up. everything happens for a reason and God wont give you more than you can handle. you too Te and Jon, im here if you need me
Rest In Peace Tariq Alston 07/13/08

a change of plans

my thoughts and prayers are with the students, faculty and staff of Randallstown High School and well as the parents, family and friends of Steve Parrish. He was a graduating senior and scheduled to walk across the stage on Sunday. Unfortunately, his life was taken from him on yesterday May 29, 2008. I can not imagine what his family and friends are going thru. To the graduating seniors of Randallstown High, especially my lil cousin Sedria, keep yall heads up. Walk across that stage proud on Sunday. I pray that he is in a much better place and that you all hold onto his memory knowing that he was supposed to be celebrating the beginning of a new chapter with you all. Dria, babes, he might have been supposed to sit on your right side on graduation day but hopefully he’s on God’s right side right now.
Congratulations to all 2008 grads!! including Shany, TJ and my bestie JazzieGurl
ii cant really say what ii am going to do or what ii am not going to do because ii dont want to be a hypocrite…but, ii am changing a lot of things in my life as of right now. im just trying to better me fa’real because ii dont want a scare like that one ii had yesterday ever again. a new month is coming and im not pledging to change over night or to completely step into this ‘holier than tho’ attitude but ii do want to be better and do better. so therefore, ii solicit your prayers yet again. and, if you will please pray that ii am able to go back to school in the fall. ii have one REALLY BIG hurdle to jump over before ii can register but ii really really want to go. and pray for my sister, Jesus knows that cheesecake every other day would be nothing short of a blessing lmao.

God will shock you…seriously.

Posted in blessings, G-D, lost one, Luvli Ladiez, when everything goes wrong, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on April 9, 2008
ii promise, if ii were God ii would be one conceited bama up in heaven just grinning lolzz. seriously. God will do some stuff and have you shocked just waiting on His next move. this week started out a lil on the down side. ii was finding out truth that ii really didnt want to learn and in the process ii didnt realize that God was showing me a whole lot more than truth. He was showing me that He can show up in the midst of anything and make something good out of it. its crazy how one person can hurt three people in such a raunchy way that they are left wondering who this person is. but in the end we are left with the last laugh. she lost three great people that loved her to death but we only lost one person who used, manipulated and lied to us all. we lost one scum bag liar and gained two wonderful friends that are strong, beautiful ladies who have a heart of gold. they always say that what the devil means for evil, God makes for good and ii never really saw that until now. we are faced with a situation that we cant just walk away from but we are so much better because of it. God found a way to put three ladies together that are strong enough to help carry one another thru this tough time. He gave me two great people, and a crazy sister, to help me laugh in the midst of my hurt. He showed me that in everything the ones that trust Him and keep Him first will be the true conquerors. In the end, I can laugh at this all and know that we are victorious and she has been defeated. I can go to sleep at night and be content after praying that God has mercy on her. I can wake in the morning and feel refreshed because I didnt lose any sleep over what has happened. God has managed to amuse me…its fun to just sit back, relax and watch Him work. He’s an awesome God and ii know He hasta look at Hisself sometimes and think just how GREAT He is… ii love this life. Thank You God!!

a feeling i’ve felt

Posted in acceptance, blessings, him, life, lost one, love, memories, relationships, Tae', thoughts, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on March 27, 2008
yesterday ii was thinking about my life and future and all the things that ii want to happen in my life. ii took time to think about the things that ii have had the opportunity to experience, live thru and struggle with. when ii thought about it ii realized that ii am blessed. not because ii made it to where ii am or because ii have so many great things to look forward to but ii am blessed simply because ii have had the opportunity to experience what some people never have the chance to live thru. one of my really good friends said to me yesterday that most of the people in the world are on a search for REAL LOVE… almost everyone is either on a quest to find love or looking for the love they let go. when she said that, ii couldnt help but wonder which one was better?? looking for a love that you’ve never had or looking for a love that you let go. well, ii fit into one of those categories and perhaps my opinion is slightly biased but ii would have to say it is much better to look for a love you lost.
let me explain::
ii know what it is to experience true love. ii know what that feels like. ii know what its like to have someone take complete control of your heart and soul. the love that ii had was real and no one can tell me any different. when he touched me, held me, talked to me, let me lay on his shoulder, played in my hair, laughed at my jokes, sung with me, wrote me love letters, looked in my eyes…it was real. when he said he loved me, it was real and ii never ever questioned that. ii had the chance to feel that feeling that most people search a lifetime for. so, yeah, ii would much rather live trying to get that feeling back than to live without knowing what that feels like. and even if ii never feel that love again ii know in my heart that God found enough favor in me to allow me to know what its like to love and be loved. and because of that, ii have no problems if ii never feel that feeling again.

farewell for now…

Posted in death, family, life && death, lost one, people I love by Tanae' A. on March 18, 2008
right now, my second family is in New Jersey bidding farewell to a beloved family member. someone’s brother, someone’s cousin, someone’s uncle, someone’s husband, someone’s father. Tons of hugs and kisses go out to Portia and Uncle William during this time, ii lovezz you guys bunches.
R.I.P Uncle Ronald, you will be missed.

no longer afraid

Posted in death, life && death, lost one, people I love by Tanae' A. on March 11, 2008
if you would’ve asked me a few weeks ago, even a few days ago, what my greatest fear was ii would quickly tell you it was death. ask me today and you would find a different answer. ii guess somewhere along the line ii got used to it. of course, death is never an easy thing to deal with but when you learn to accept it it becomes easier to face. my bestie’s family lost someone close to them last night/this morning and when ii heard the news ii was a lil sad for them but ii knew that it would be okay. maybe the fact that we all knew it was going to happen made it a lil easier for everyone. even still, ii think about all the people that we have lost over the past six months and ii see a whole lot of growth in just my outlook alone. ii know that time will come when ii am forced to bid farewell to the people ii love and ii thank God so much for growing me up and allowing me to trust more in Him.
to all those we have lost in the past six months [[brielle, cornell, bishop, aunt anne and uncle ronald]] rest in peace. one love.
ii am no longer afraid of losing the people that ii hold dear. of course, ii want to put it off for as long as possible but ii am not scared of having to let some people go.

ya win some, ya lose some

Posted in child, death, family, life && death, lost one by Tanae' A. on March 3, 2008
March 1st was one helluva day…
At 4:54 pm my coworker and friend Teia had her baby boy D’Angelo aka My Dilly lolzz. We waited for him to enter into this world and finally our waiting is here. I cant wait to go see him and spoil him and all that good stuff. YaY!!
Also, on Saturday our family had to bid farewell to a very good friend. Aunt Anne was one of a kind but we’ll see her again when its our time to go. I’m praying for my Kev*Out and the fam and hoping that my auntie Boone stays strong for them all. Good news is:: we know she’s in a better place.
R.I.P Anne…one love

Bishop, My Bishop

Bishop, My Bishop [[aka Askew]]
I never thought I would see this day. I just knew that you were gonna come back just like old times but I guess I was wrong. From the time you first got to Shiloh me and Shay loved ya lil crazy self. You are Cornell were a total package and I never thought we would have to say goodbye. Tell him that I love him and I miss him down here. Tell him that Y&YA are doing pretty darn good with this DonDon fella. Wow, I cant believe this man. This is going to be a hard one to deal with but I know that you and him probably having a blast up there on them heavenly streets. Just dont forget to watch over us and be with us every step of the way. We’ll meet again soon enough.
Rest In Peace 02-19-08

inspired by a life…

Posted in crying, death, faith, hurt, life && death, lost one, pain by Tanae' A. on January 7, 2008

It is always hard to deal with death but for me it is like the ultimate struggle. No matter who it is that we are saying goodbye to, I always find it extra hard to deal with. Death is truely something that i despise with like everything in me and but this time around I’m not angry. Its almost like the famous words “death where is your sting?” Usually, the death of someone can send me for a loop and altho I am really saddened right now I’m also happy. Cornell was a great guy whome I loved dearly. He was always smiling and laughing and he never complained. He showed up and pressed his way thru every obstacle and he had faith that allowed him to praise in the midst of his pain. I remember those sundays when me and Shay would come strutting in and he would give us a wink from the piano and ask if we were okay… he was always so happy. Im gonna miss him and it sucks cause I never thought in a million years that I would never see him again. I just knew that sooner rather than later I would see him make his way into that sanctuary and lead that choir like he always does. I just knew that I would be able to see him and hug him and tell him how much I love him just one more time… but that time never came. It’s sad and it hurts to know that I will never be able to see him again but inside my heart is rejoicing because I know that finally he doesn’t have to suffer anymore. Finally he is at rest and I know that he is somewhere in the heavens singing his lil heart out. Oh God, I’m going to miss that voice of his. There will never be another Cornell. There will never be another person that inspires me the way he does. I looked at him with so much admiration because it was amazing to me how someone can go thru so much but still have this smile on their face and this aura about him. There was something about Cornell that you just couldn’t help but love and it was like everytime I saw him I just couldn’t complain about anything because its people like him that make my situations look small. Its people like him that teach me to appreciate life and its people like him that cause me to have faith. Because I know that if even thru everything that he went thru he can trust in God and still praise God and still do the work of the Lord then I know that the same God that kept that smile on his face can keep a smile on mine as well. I will never ever forget him, I love him and I am so blessed to have known someone like him. I thank God for his life.

[[R.I.P Cornell]]

watch over us from your seat up in heaven