[{GRaViTY}]

a HOLY matrix, um matrimony…nope, just easter lol

it is only wednesday and ii am already crackin up over this weeks events. easter sunday is going to be hilarious. first off, ii know somebody is going to put their daughter in some white frilly dress with sling back white sandals and hair ribbons. and that same somebody is going to put that same daughter in some ugly thin shawl that is supposed to protect her from the tiny gusts of wind that come thru on easter morning. to that mother who is planning to torture that daughter, warning:: IT IS GOING TO BE FORTY SIX DEGREES ON EASTER!!! just thought she might want to know that before she sets herself up for failure. please put your children in COATS!!
and you would not believe that after two hours of sitting for two hours on monday trying to find a song to dance to, we picked some song that is ridic. seriously tho, this song got some wack beat in it so we was practicing and ii rocked off with this holy matrix move mixed with a tick and ii promised mo that i would do that on sunday morning. lmao. this is going to be funny but like India Arie said:: a promise is a promise haha.
ii am also deciding to renew my vows on easter sunday. somewhere along the line ii drew a line in the relationship that ii have created with Jesus. so that line will be erased somewhere around the spot where 5:45 slowly turns into 6am… translation, ii will be in church bright and early on sunday morning for sunrise service and ii know that there better be a mixed crowd on that parking lot when ii get there.
ii am showing up but ii will be dippin out to get a nap in before sunday school. ii am praying that someone brings in our early dismissal forms lmao. matter fact, im getting my own leave slips just in case she forgets. this should be funny, hey, we’re just being OBEDIENT…DuH.
and um, please Jesus allow a certain someone to get her hair did before she get up to dance on sunday morning because we all know that you dont want to rise and see that mess cause ii surely dont. we want to leave this Easter holy because we understand and appreciate the sacrifice that you made just you and I both know that someone should sacrifice a few dollars to get that weave done. Amen Jesus.

ya win some, ya lose some

Posted in child, death, family, life && death, lost one by Tanae' A. on March 3, 2008
March 1st was one helluva day…
At 4:54 pm my coworker and friend Teia had her baby boy D’Angelo aka My Dilly lolzz. We waited for him to enter into this world and finally our waiting is here. I cant wait to go see him and spoil him and all that good stuff. YaY!!
Also, on Saturday our family had to bid farewell to a very good friend. Aunt Anne was one of a kind but we’ll see her again when its our time to go. I’m praying for my Kev*Out and the fam and hoping that my auntie Boone stays strong for them all. Good news is:: we know she’s in a better place.
R.I.P Anne…one love

false hope

Posted in change, child, decisions, growth, moving on, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on January 10, 2008

one thing that i learned growing up is to let go of false hope. as children we tend to hope for things that will never ever come to be and in the end it leaves us disappointed. but i guess somewhere along the line i kinda wised up and let that go. I no longer wish for things that are out of my reach and i especially dont hope for things that i know i’ll never have. If I dont take time out to actually try to get those things that are unattainable i wont be disappointed when i cant get them. somewhere between then and now I grew up a lil bit. While I have grabbed a small piece of that false hope back I really still remain at a reasonable distance. I find myself today hoping and wishing that i could somehow grab hold of the things that are slightly [not completely] out of my reach. needless to say, today i will go back into my childish state. I recently kinda took a big leap and attempted to go after something that i knew i couldn’t have. Maybe I was tripin when I decided to set the bar a bit too high and now I am disappointed. But for once, even tho I am somewhat disappointed in myself, I am moreso disappointed in the other ppl involved. Sometimes in this life we lower our standards and accept what we can get rather than what we deserve and when that happens we change as people. Im usually not one to criticize other people’s actions but stupid is stupid. I realized just now that I am better than the ppl involved simply because i refuse to meet them at the level that they are at. In order to get what I want I would have to lower my standards and i’ll be damned if i compromise my growth just for something that aint even a necessity. i have worked too hard to get to where i am and i aint even bout to trip up over something that just look good from the outside in. I’ll take my loses and let some people go but i’ll remember that im the winner because i walked away. Maybe i’ll give up on the false hope for a while but one thing that i wont give up on is ME

[[im oh so 08]]

Bing Bing

Posted in blessings, child, family, people I love by Tanae' A. on October 25, 2007

More than anything in this entire world… more than any person in this entire world… more than any amount of money in this entire world, i┬álove my Bing!! I never ever thought that someone so small could capture my heart but he has a death grip on me and I cant shake it. I always thought that after my Scooda Tray came along no other lil boy would have my heart… but my Bing proved me wrong. [my wonderful babies Von and Tray are next on my list…or somewhere on my list] I remember the night he was born like it was yesterday. He was laying down all wrapped up in his lil blankets sucking on those lil fingers of his, I’ll never forget it. Its like, the past year has gone by so fast and it is amazing to see how much he has grown up. He is my smile. No matter what kind of day I have I can always come home and find him crawling around the living room and no matter what he is doing he always smiles at me and waits for me to pick him up. I mess with him all day everyday. I beat him up and I pick with him and I tease him but he still loves his auntie Tae’ and I love that lil man. He brings chaos and peace to my lil house. He eats and eats all day long. He is fat and bad and he loves to climb up the steps all day long. His laugh is infectious and his dance skills are ridiculous. His talk is hilarious. His singing is amazing and his fists are strong. He is the heart of my family and that only one person that seems to bring all four of us crazy women together and word cannot even begin to express how much I love him.

I thank God tremendously for sending me a lil blessing by the name of Eric Jerome Mann III… He is the greatest gift that I could have ever received and no one could ever take his place.. [except for the son that I’ll be having in another 10 1/2 years of course!! LoL]

Frustrated beyond belief

Last night, when I wwas supposed to be in the bed catching up on some much needed sleep, I was up chatting with someone that I haven’t spoken to in a very long time. Back in the day she was like a lil cousin to me and we was bout thick as thieves. She stayed over my house too many times and me and my sister would try to make sure she was doing the right thing. Eventually she moved and since then I have seen her at most about 4 times in the past 2 1/2 years. Everytime I see her I get this happysad type feeling. She was no longer surrounded by people who wanted to see the best for her. She had moved away from her support system and I blamed her mother and I still do. I just wish that there was more that I could’ve done while she was around. Around 1am this morning she sent me a message letting me know so matter of factly that she now has a baby girl who is one month old. This little girl is 15. Her baby father is 20. I want to know whats wrong?? I think part of me knew that this would happen but I never thought so soon. All three of her older sisters had babies out of wedlock. Two of them were still in high school. Her mother had a baby almost 3 years ago out of wedlock. I want to know what is wrong?? Is this what we must deal with?? Our babies are following in the footsteps of those who have set a negative example and now they are having babies that they’re not even old enough to puch out. I’m frustrated… hurt.. and disappointed. I feel compelled to do something but what can I do?? How can I save a dying generation. The homicide rate is sky high and we look around and dont even see that we pulling the trigger on ourselves. When is enough going to be enough?? When are we going to do something to save our kids?? Help.