Posted in cancer sucks, death, friends, life, life && death, people I love, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on May 27, 2008
ii was thinking the other day about the turn that my life has taken. some things are not good and some things are frickin awesome. either way, ii chose not to complain. this weekend has probably been the best in a long time. actually these past few weeks have been awesome. there has been so much stuff going on but seriously, at the end of the day ii have not a care in the world. the past week or so has been rather hectic but all is well. a few people have stepped out of line and we were forced to put them back in place. a few people have tested me in the worst way. a few people have even lied to me and then had the audacity to come to me for help when shit hit the fan. but on top of all that, ii have had more fun than anything. things ar slowly falling into place in my life. things are working the way that they should and ii am happy. some exciting things are coming up in the very near future and hopefully i’ll be around to tell of more great days but even if not, everything is awesome in my life so ii have no complaints. ii heart life. ii heart the L. ii heart my bestie. ii heart my goone. ii heart my shink. ii heart honey. ii heart life and everything in it…and that, my friends, IS THE BONUS!!! lmao
Rest In Peace Talia Marie Pleasant:: you are finally free from all pain hurt and sickness. ii know that you are up in heaven with God. you are a beautiful princess.

Remembering V. Tech

Posted in life && death, memories, V.Tech: Today we are all Hokies by Tanae' A. on April 16, 2008

Remembering the 32 of Virginia Tech

{{Forever we are all Hokies}}

farewell for now…

Posted in death, family, life && death, lost one, people I love by Tanae' A. on March 18, 2008
right now, my second family is in New Jersey bidding farewell to a beloved family member. someone’s brother, someone’s cousin, someone’s uncle, someone’s husband, someone’s father. Tons of hugs and kisses go out to Portia and Uncle William during this time, ii lovezz you guys bunches.
R.I.P Uncle Ronald, you will be missed.

no longer afraid

Posted in death, life && death, lost one, people I love by Tanae' A. on March 11, 2008
if you would’ve asked me a few weeks ago, even a few days ago, what my greatest fear was ii would quickly tell you it was death. ask me today and you would find a different answer. ii guess somewhere along the line ii got used to it. of course, death is never an easy thing to deal with but when you learn to accept it it becomes easier to face. my bestie’s family lost someone close to them last night/this morning and when ii heard the news ii was a lil sad for them but ii knew that it would be okay. maybe the fact that we all knew it was going to happen made it a lil easier for everyone. even still, ii think about all the people that we have lost over the past six months and ii see a whole lot of growth in just my outlook alone. ii know that time will come when ii am forced to bid farewell to the people ii love and ii thank God so much for growing me up and allowing me to trust more in Him.
to all those we have lost in the past six months [[brielle, cornell, bishop, aunt anne and uncle ronald]] rest in peace. one love.
ii am no longer afraid of losing the people that ii hold dear. of course, ii want to put it off for as long as possible but ii am not scared of having to let some people go.

ya win some, ya lose some

Posted in child, death, family, life && death, lost one by Tanae' A. on March 3, 2008
March 1st was one helluva day…
At 4:54 pm my coworker and friend Teia had her baby boy D’Angelo aka My Dilly lolzz. We waited for him to enter into this world and finally our waiting is here. I cant wait to go see him and spoil him and all that good stuff. YaY!!
Also, on Saturday our family had to bid farewell to a very good friend. Aunt Anne was one of a kind but we’ll see her again when its our time to go. I’m praying for my Kev*Out and the fam and hoping that my auntie Boone stays strong for them all. Good news is:: we know she’s in a better place.
R.I.P Anne…one love

Bishop, My Bishop

Bishop, My Bishop [[aka Askew]]
I never thought I would see this day. I just knew that you were gonna come back just like old times but I guess I was wrong. From the time you first got to Shiloh me and Shay loved ya lil crazy self. You are Cornell were a total package and I never thought we would have to say goodbye. Tell him that I love him and I miss him down here. Tell him that Y&YA are doing pretty darn good with this DonDon fella. Wow, I cant believe this man. This is going to be a hard one to deal with but I know that you and him probably having a blast up there on them heavenly streets. Just dont forget to watch over us and be with us every step of the way. We’ll meet again soon enough.
Rest In Peace 02-19-08


Posted in blessings, death, family, good times, life && death, memories, people I love, R.I.P Brielle, R.I.P Cornell by Tanae' A. on January 16, 2008
Three years ago, my Aunt Debbie passed away. Her death was hard to deal with but what was even harder was seeing my lil cousins hurt. One thing that I told them was to hold on to memories that they could see and the one thing that one of them held onto was a picture. The picture was symbolic to him because it wasn’t just a pic of his mom but in the pic she was with his new mom. He looked at her life as a blessing. She brought him to where he was and now he is even more blessed to have a wonderful mother and he always says that two moms are better than one. I smile everytime I see that picture because I remember her and the wonderful person that she was but also I remember the  blessing that she gave to my lil cousins by giving them another family that could help them to grow into wonderful adults.
Two and a half years ago I was forced to say goodbye to my aunt Tee and that was super hard to deal with. There are two things that I carry with me to remember her. The first is a ring that is way to big for my finger but it was hers and so I value it so much and the second is worth way more to me than a gold ring and that is what we call a ‘tee’. One winter a long long time ago we were all cold and back in the day my grandmother didnt have the money to buy us all ear muffs. So Tee started sewing  these things that we could put around our heads to cover our ears. We wore those things faithfully and they were in like fifteen different colors. We named them after her because no one else could make anything like that for all of us lol. But thats one thing that I hold on to cause I know that she made those out of love and so I cherish that. It reminds me of the type of person that she is and the love that she had for us.
I think the hardest thing about death is not just losing a person but moreso losing what that person brought to life. I can easily hold onto memories and I know that even when people are gone their memories are still there.  One thing that I am so blessed with is technology. This past week I smiled in my spirit because altho Cornell is gone his memory lives on. One thing that I was so sad about is the fact that I would never get to hear his voice again but I was surprised on Friday morning when I heard his voice belting thru those speakers. I know that he’s not here anymore on Earth but just hearing that beautiful voice lets me know that he is somewhere singing his was around heaven. I was also very happy because Sunday he wasn’t there in person but he was there in spirit and I remembered him sitting at the piano where he usually sits… Sometimes all that we have to hold onto are memories whether they are tangible or just a memory to make us smile. But whatever the memory may be I thank God for giving us memories to allow us to carry on with each day. Because of those memories all the people that I have had to say goodbye to are still living on. Aunt Debbie is still there with her kids on New Years Eve dancing with us in Nana’s living room, Tee is still sewing tees and blankets that give us comfort in the cold, Tawana is still sitting on Portia’s couch laughing at my sun glasses, Brielle is still impacting lives thru everyday and helping people to grow, Ms. Sarah is still offering smiles and encouragement thru every day  and Cornell is still up there directing that choir and smiling that smile so bright.
{{Rest In Peace}}
[Debbie] [Tee] [Larry] [Brielle] [Tawana] [Ms. Sarah] [Mr. Brooks] [Cornell]

inspired by a life…

Posted in crying, death, faith, hurt, life && death, lost one, pain by Tanae' A. on January 7, 2008

It is always hard to deal with death but for me it is like the ultimate struggle. No matter who it is that we are saying goodbye to, I always find it extra hard to deal with. Death is truely something that i despise with like everything in me and but this time around I’m not angry. Its almost like the famous words “death where is your sting?” Usually, the death of someone can send me for a loop and altho I am really saddened right now I’m also happy. Cornell was a great guy whome I loved dearly. He was always smiling and laughing and he never complained. He showed up and pressed his way thru every obstacle and he had faith that allowed him to praise in the midst of his pain. I remember those sundays when me and Shay would come strutting in and he would give us a wink from the piano and ask if we were okay… he was always so happy. Im gonna miss him and it sucks cause I never thought in a million years that I would never see him again. I just knew that sooner rather than later I would see him make his way into that sanctuary and lead that choir like he always does. I just knew that I would be able to see him and hug him and tell him how much I love him just one more time… but that time never came. It’s sad and it hurts to know that I will never be able to see him again but inside my heart is rejoicing because I know that finally he doesn’t have to suffer anymore. Finally he is at rest and I know that he is somewhere in the heavens singing his lil heart out. Oh God, I’m going to miss that voice of his. There will never be another Cornell. There will never be another person that inspires me the way he does. I looked at him with so much admiration because it was amazing to me how someone can go thru so much but still have this smile on their face and this aura about him. There was something about Cornell that you just couldn’t help but love and it was like everytime I saw him I just couldn’t complain about anything because its people like him that make my situations look small. Its people like him that teach me to appreciate life and its people like him that cause me to have faith. Because I know that if even thru everything that he went thru he can trust in God and still praise God and still do the work of the Lord then I know that the same God that kept that smile on his face can keep a smile on mine as well. I will never ever forget him, I love him and I am so blessed to have known someone like him. I thank God for his life.

[[R.I.P Cornell]]

watch over us from your seat up in heaven

saying goodbye

Tomorrow morning sad and hurting hearts will gather to say goodbye to Ms. Sarah. They will come together to support one another and to pay their last respects to a lady that will not be forgotten. I wish I could go but unfortunately I have to work but my sister and bestie are all going to support the family, especially Victoria. I think goodbye is one of the hardest things that we can say to someone and this week I know that lots have struggled with having to say those two simple words. I am happy tho, and I feel very blessed to know that I am apart of a supporting church family that comes together no matter what happens to support one another. I am happy that so many of Shiloh’s members have gathered in that house that I have walked past so many times. They have gone to support a family that is pained by a loss. I know that tomorrow will be hard day for them and my prayers are def. wit them all day long. I just hope and pray that even after tomorrow, they remember that God is there to comfort them and that she is there watching over them all but more importantly she is in their hearts.

Good bye Ms. Sarah… watch over us all

R.I.P Brielle… && thank you for strengthening the gurls. They miss you terribly but they are doing so good and they are growing and realizing that life is worth living. Thank you especially for watching and keeping Lucy, you have somehow managed to give her some type of direction and I know that you are proud of her. She is a beautiful girl and she is learning to be as strong as you were. One Love.

Rest In Peace Ms. Sarah

Posted in blessings, crying, death, hurt, life && death, lost one, pain, people I love by Tanae' A. on October 31, 2007

I remember it almost like it was yesterday. It was hot outside but I still walked across that road to get to this house. To this day, I do not remember what I was going to get but I know that whatever it was, I had to wait for it. I knocked on the screen door and peeked inside to see if anyone was there. Then she came, with this great big smile and her lovely voice, she told me to come in and sit down in the big chair. Because the big chair was for guests. We sat there for at least 15 minutes not talking about anything in particular. I liked this lady, she was sweet and sincere and genuine. She had love in her eyes and she still had a sway in her lil walk. The house smelled fresh, like she had just cleaned but it wasn’t the least bit stuffy. She got up from her chair, went into the kitchen and got whatever it was that I went there for. She handed it to me with a smile on her face and just like my grandmother would do, she held my hand as I walked to the door. She stood there, I walked across the street and half way across the parking lot and she was still there with that smile on her face. I turned around and waved at her and she yelled out the door… “you better come back and see me, ya hear”

She had the kindest heart in america. I remember so many times after that, I would walk by that door and she would yell out, telling me to put on my coat or zippen up my jacket, or be careful crossing that road. Ms. Sarah will always be remembered. She will always be loved and her smile is one that I will never forget. I know that she is in heaven smiling down and right now I wish that she would just hold Vicky-T and comfort her through this.

My prayers are with their entire family, I know that this is a hard time for them.

Rest In Peace Ms. Sarah… I know you’re with God up in heaven