a change of plans

my thoughts and prayers are with the students, faculty and staff of Randallstown High School and well as the parents, family and friends of Steve Parrish. He was a graduating senior and scheduled to walk across the stage on Sunday. Unfortunately, his life was taken from him on yesterday May 29, 2008. I can not imagine what his family and friends are going thru. To the graduating seniors of Randallstown High, especially my lil cousin Sedria, keep yall heads up. Walk across that stage proud on Sunday. I pray that he is in a much better place and that you all hold onto his memory knowing that he was supposed to be celebrating the beginning of a new chapter with you all. Dria, babes, he might have been supposed to sit on your right side on graduation day but hopefully he’s on God’s right side right now.

Congratulations to all 2008 grads!! including Shany, TJ and my bestie JazzieGurl

ii cant really say what ii am going to do or what ii am not going to do because ii dont want to be a hypocrite…but, ii am changing a lot of things in my life as of right now. im just trying to better me fa’real because ii dont want a scare like that one ii had yesterday ever again. a new month is coming and im not pledging to change over night or to completely step into this ‘holier than tho’ attitude but ii do want to be better and do better. so therefore, ii solicit your prayers yet again. and, if you will please pray that ii am able to go back to school in the fall. ii have one REALLY BIG hurdle to jump over before ii can register but ii really really want to go. and pray for my sister, Jesus knows that cheesecake every other day would be nothing short of a blessing lmao.

Lawd… not another birthday

In exactly seven days I will be celebrating my birthday. YaY me!! NOT!! On Nov. 1st I was a lil bit excited. Actually, the whole first week of Nov. I was excited, but now, I could care less. I think the entire incident with my NanaBoo kinda threw a lil hex in my excitement. But anyways, I am going to get excited very soon so that I can actually have a good weekend. But I am not looking forward to the day AFTER my birthday… why?? BECAUSE I’LL BE TWENTY!! I feel like every year I just keep getting older and older and its like I am finally not a teenager anymore and it’s depressing!! LoL!! I dont want to reach twenty, you can keep ya 21 party and please prolong 25 for as long as possible…i want to remain a teenager!! I dont really have a problem with growing up I just have a problem with getting old. I mean, I be having back aches, pains in my knees… my legs be falling asleep. By the time I hit 30 I’ll be frickin gray with atheritis all up and down my bones… I’m not ready for that yet. I gosta keep it young and on point. I mean, I do have a few good genes in the fam cause God knows my NanaBoo look good for 76 but I aint trying to be bent over backwards with cramps and muscle aches!! I wanna be 56 and still looking and FEELING great. Maybe I’m thinking too ahead of time but when I see 20 my mind thinks 50… cause thats how fast its gonna come. So I think I’ll start trying to take care of myself now so I wont have to pay later. Maybe if I start trying to eat healthy and exercise more than I wont have so many problems in ten maybe fifteen years.

Let’s pray that I can keep up cause I am the QUEEN on unhealthy!! LoL!!

Tae’

&& WE know…

and we know that ALL things work together 

A few Sundays ago we sat in a service that we really didn’t want to be in. I wanted to go at first but once I got in there I realized that I wasn’t in the mood for ‘church’ and so I was only half way paying attention. I was focused on everything but what was going on right in front of me and then something grabbed my attention. It wasn’t the choir’s singing and it wasn’t the man that was preaching, nor was it the scripture that was read but it was the title of the sermon.. “He’s working it out” The sermon grabbed my attention and held on to it for dear life and at that moment in time those four words are what I needed to hear.

Yesterday was a very hard day for me. I was back at work and unable to be by my Nana’s side and that really had me in a funk. I tried talking to friends but nothing that they said made me feel any better about any of it. Finally, I called Jess and she tried to make me feel better but I just ignored everything she said because I wanted to remain in my lil funk. By the time I got home it was dark out [[because the sun is now setting by the time lunch rolls around..ridiculous]] and I just needed to get a few hours of sleep. BUT OF COURSE THE PEOPLE THAT I LIVE WITH ARE LOUD AND RUDE AND WOULD NOT LET ME SLEEP…so I laid there in the dark for two hours thinking and praying and crying my lil eyes out.

Needless to say, today I feel better. I am still not happy about the situation that my Nana is in but I remembered that sermon from that sunday and I know that He’ll work it out. No matter how bad things look right now or how slow the process is… I know that it will be okay because the GOD the my Nana serves cant fail. She always used to tell me that God is still God and no matter what happens that will never change. He’s still God, no matter what happens today or tomorrow or what problems I have… I know that he’s still who He says He is. And I have a lil bit of faith that lets me rest assured that everything really will work itself out and its that lil bit of faith that gonna get me thru the days and weeks and months of helping my grandmother get back to her normal… she has been my strength for so long and now I have to be strong for her.

youth leaders are not really leading

How would you feel if you knew that a LEADER in your church was sending your youth emails about the size of people’s (rappers, singer etc.) private areas and how well they are in bed??

There are a lot of people in the world that are familiar with the infamous “Superhead” otherwise known as Karrine Steffans… the Video Vixen. She has a book out titled ‘Confessions of a Video Vixen’ and she now has a second book on shelves, I am unfamiliar with the name. But for those of you that dont know, she has made a not-so-positive name for herself by sleeping with numerous people in the music industry. The purpose of the book was to tell a side of her story that no one had heard. I think that purpose was looked over entirely. Everyone that read the book was in it to hear about who she had slept with and what type of relationship she had with these men. I think that by the time the book became popular, she had also forgotten about her original reason for writing it. But that is not the reason for this post.

About two days ago, I recieved an email that totally blew me away. It was a list of about 40-50 music icons, past & present. Next to each of their names was a rating of big, small, thick, thin, short or fat. Add fuel to the fire… this ‘Superhead’ also remembered to add a detailed description of exactly how they were in bed. Although the email was very graphic, even for me, what pissed me off the most is that a leader of my church sent it to me. Not just any leader… a leader who works directly with YOUTH!! Is there any way to justify that??

I didn’t know what to do really. I was going to address her about the situation simply because I dont prefer to recieve things like that from anybody be it a leader of the church or a friend from school. But in a situation like this I really dont know how I am supposed to react. I am not surprised that this person would send something like that… I can easily tell a hypocrite when I see one. But what I dont understand is how you can even look at yourself after you have sent something like this to a youth in your church that you are supposed to be leading. Am I wrong for being upset about this and should something be said in order to get this type of behavior under control??

Tae’

getting my mind right

I often times get overly excited when I see myself growing. There are a lot of things that I dont do anymore and there are a lot of ways that I handle things differently but someone pushed me back a lil this past weekend. As we are sitting here playing Monopoly, Bry says a simple seven words that have stuck with since then. “As a woman thinketh, so is she” Of course I have heard this before. Too many times before. But it just really hit me in the past week. I may not do a lot of things but I still think about them. I didn’t cuss homegirl out but in my head I was thinking of all the ways that I could blow her out the water and hurt her feelings. I didn’t do this or that, I but I certainly thought about it and that is just as bad as me doing it. So I am now working on getting my thoughts together. I dont want to think about the things that I shouldn’t be doing.

I dont know… I’m just still praying about it…

I’m really trying to be better guys.