words… limited.

so…im here in nc. its not bad. wont talk about the past day and a half. it was bboorriinngg but ii got a lot of sleep. got my room today…alone. good thing. no car…terrible thing here. spent 40 on a cab so far…never again. food…good. command…cool. tired. no phone charger. know noone here. gotta feel my way around. but room is super nice so im happy. gotta make the best of this barren town.

resurrection sunday

today was a very good day. ii was very skeptical about going to church but it wasnt too bad. GoD confirmed today a lot of things that ii already knew. one thing that ii did come to realize is that some people are exactly who you think them to be. there was one person that im really cool with and ii could tell by they way that they present themselves from time to time that there was something really wrong beneath the surface. well ii saw that today and ii dont like what ii saw at all but ii aint upset about it because ii knew that that person was exactly like that. another thing that ii realized is that ii clearly miss being in worship a lot but ii need a church home.

things are finally starting to come together for me…not that they werent before but im seeing more clearly now. ii got a plan that im trying to follow. going to get my life together and do what ii can to get to the next level. trying to up my ministry even tho its going to be a struggle

well let me go…trying to figure out what im doing tonight. nothing too unholy

back home.

today was my first official day back home. yesterdays travel was completely stressful. our two o clock bus didnt dock til 3 and the traffic was ridic. by the time we got into DC ii was dogg tired but they said we had to transfer to another bus WHICH WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN… so we get off the bus. grab all our luggage and was told to go to gate 9. we go to gate 9 WITH ALL OUR LUGGAGE and then they direct us BACK to the same daggone bus that we just got off of. get to Maryland finally and the bus driver decides he wants to stop in Silver Spring WHICH WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN… we wait there for FOREVER and then head downtown. once we get downtown we finally make it travel plaza. ii was so happy to see my momzz and my homeboy turns around too get our luggage and ITS NOT THERE. ok… wtf?? yes they clearly took our luggage off at downtown. so not only have we been irritated all day but by the time we actually get to where we are going an entire 2 1/2 HOURS LATER we have to wait another hour for them to bring us our luggage. yes ii was truely upset and irritated and tired by the time ii got in the house.

woke up this morning got dressed and went to see my god daughter for a bit. she is getting so big and precious lol. then we went out erdman to get the crazies. me.mo.phil.and.yang went to the marsh for a lil too long. then we dropped yang back at the crib and went to my house. delley came to see me and so did JonesZ…so that was cool. finally got in the house and baking a cake but it feels good to walk these streets again.lol. tomorrow night is my get together so thats my chance to see all the lost ones that ii havent seen in forever. church sunday which ii am so ready for. ii am ready to get to NC even tho ii didnt want to go there at first ii think this is going to be a good thing for me. we shall see.

all ii know is that im going to enjoy my time home…relax and spend time with my fam. getting my priorities together and got my head on straight. see…theres some good in these mean streets lol.

going home…

tomorrow marks the day… ii will be back in Bmore with the peeps. ii cannot wait simply because this place is irritating me. after ii leave home i’ll be in North Carolina… ii didnt want to go there at all but ima make the most of it. def going to school….taking advantage of every benefit they are offering.

Right now im sitting here listening to gospel music. trying to get my mind back to Him… the people here managed to get under my skin in a minor three minutes so ii have get my motivation back up. excited to be going to a place of worship on sunday. one good thing about going to NC is that ii know there are a lot of churches that ii could go to. looking for a new church home so ill be on top of that as soon as ii get to where im going.

in the meantime…im doing pretty good. just trying to get by the best way that ii can. dealing with leaving VA and that means ill be leaving him behind. its harder than ii make it seem. ii just do a really good job hiding my feelings but its a struggle that im going to get through no matter what. ii dont want people like that in my life. yes… ii love him and ii always will and it sucks that we dont even have a friendship between us anymore but thats the way things have to be. ive made a decision and im sticking to it…no matter what. sorry for those that dont like it.

ii get the chance to hang with LeyLey next week which is exciting for me. after everything that has happened between me and her im glad that we are at the place that we are now. she actually just called me…dunno what she wanted. prob complaining about Jess but then again…some things never change lmao. that situation will always be a joke to me.

im also excited because ii get to surprise my cousin Sedi and go to friendship on Sunday. she’ll be super shocked cause she thinks im going to shiloh. actually ii am going to shiloh for the sunrise service (oh boy) and their sunday school program. then its straight to NaNa’ s church and then to the big cuzzo’s house to eat. can not wait. oh…mommy got the back porch done so we gonna throw a grill out there and cook out prob mon or wed…idk yet

ii think thats all ii have for today… oh… ii get to take my god_daughter Destiny out sat and mon which ii am super excited about. she just turned two months and ii havent seen her yet so this will be new. ii dont know how ii havent seen someone that ii spend so much money on… lol… cant wait.

until next time…ttyl. prob wont blog will im at home so just pray that ii dont kill someone while in bmore…you know how they all irritate me no matter how much ii love them to death lol

the count down begins

so…im going to be back in BMore in exactly six days and ii cant wait. ii really really need to be around fam for a minute or two even tho they are going to annoy me as soon as ii get there .lol. the count.down also begins for the time ii will step foot in a church. its been a good minute tho. every one knows by now that easter is my favorite holiday… more of a reason to go to worship service…not the people or the annual antics but .HiM. plan on finding a church home as soon as ii get to where im going cause He knows as well as ii know that me && him could use the time together. Jesus also knows as well that im not in the mood to deal with “church” people who are really not .the church.  any ways… ill stop talking about the church because ii do realize that there are some good people in the church. its just the phony ones that have put a bad taste in my mouth. && they can turn their noses up at me all that they want but ii dont parade around like im the saint of GoD.

ii am highly excited about my .last. weekend here in va. nothing big planned. just going to the normal spot on friday with the class then going on saturday to the movies… fast.&&.furious. comes out and im super excited because the entire original cast is in this one. then after that im going with the gurls to the hotel just to get away from everyone and chill out. spend the day in the hot tub or something… get a few drinks and watch movies all day. nothing like a gurls day.

we got our orders on wednesday and ii refuse to talk about them because there is a very good chance that mine will be changed. once ii figure out for sure where im going ii will def let you all know so that you can be up on it. just know that its either east coast close to family and friends or west coast with my ShinkButt… mommy says GoD is going to send me where He wants so im just waiting to see where He desires me to go.

talk to you all at a later date. kudos.twice.