some things change…

trying to get used to a few of the changes that have been going on in my lifee. im going thru a lot of changes as of late. trying to be something better than what ii am. trust me when ii say that it is indeed a journey but its a lovely one at best. also thankful for the ppl in my life. they are trule few nd far between now. all the ppl of the past are no longer in effect so yea… thats a dead horse there. got a roomie… uugghh can you say upset?? truly. nd she complains about EVERYTHING. well guess what sweetie?? im here, you here, everyone is here so if you dont like it… oh well. get over it or move out. trust me, ii could care less as long as you stay out of my way. yall pray for my job. they really need Jesus… all of them lol.

confirmation…

wow. okk soo GoD is AMAZING!!! or did you already know that?? lol. last week was a FANTASTIC WEEK!!! wednesday night was awesome nd then we turned around nd got a Rhema word on Thursday nd GoD really moved!!! Saturday GoD decided to reveal some things to me nd THEN sunday morning Apostle straight walked all up nd down my street with confirmation. like, who does that?? haha. he confirmed EVERYTHING that GoD had shown me on Saturday nd then Pastor turned around nd BLEW MY MIND on sunday afternoon. im just thanking Jesus for placing ppl in my path that make themselves available to the work of GoD. there are plenty of ppl that are in the pulpit without a purpose but ii have been BLESSED to be under the leadership of WONDERFUL men nd women of GoD that come with TRUTH!!!! thanking GoD for revelation nd confirmation.

a lot on my mind

been in a fairly good mood lately despite the craziness. suppose ii should start with the not so good things first nd then go from there::

first not so good thing:: since ii have been working NON STOP for the past FOUR WEEKS ii have slipped majorly in the health area of my life. now ii must try nd play catch up which means that ill be having doctors appts like every other day for no reason at all. nd you all know how much ii despise doctors.

second not so good thing:: ii lost someone very very special to me on yesterday. no he didnt die, but he’s dead to me. havent cried or shed any tears. not even upset or angry bout it. just rolling with the punches nd hoping that GoD would have mercy on him nd grant him favor. thats the only thing ii can ask for right now.

third not so good thing:: IM BROKE!!!

first great thing:: ii just brought a car!! hence the reason for the third not so good thing .lol. well actually broke to me means that ii dont have money to go out shopping for new sneakers every week. now ii wish ii woulda got those shoes three weeks ago instead of waiting. ugh. lol. but yess ii have a new baby without a name. 2oo9 toyota corolla nd SEXY if ii might say so myself.

second great thing:: dont keep ya fingers crossed on this one because my unit usually does things on their own time .BUT. ya girl was selected to go to Culinary Institute of America in January. yess, this is one of the BEST culinary schools that there is nd im soo excited to go. knowing my command ii wont go til this time next yr but .whatever. whenever they say go ill go .lol.

third great thing:: GoD is going a SERIOUS workk in me. this was truly going to go under the not so good things because to be honest… ii dont like this process at all. of course its a good thing but its one of the most uncomfortable things that ive had to go thru in a long time. ND IT DOESNT STOP!!! but im continuing to be submissive nd allow HiM to do whatever He needs to do in me so that He might workk thru me. even in my stubborn fits nd hard.headed ways im still standing firm nd TRYING to do everything that ii can to stay fokused nd on this straight nd narrow path… yall pray for me.

its been a while. my apologies…

ii know ii been slacking lately. had a whole lot going on with workk nd my internet was down for a while. please forgive me lol.

what has been going on with Tae’ these days?? glad you asked. lifee is good .finally. north carolina is treating me very well. workk is finally back to normal. got BIG plans for the up coming year nd im on a spiritual journey that is out of this world. ii am now a member of Free & Independent Apostolic Church where Bishop Keith Curry is the pastor. I LOVE IT!!! i’ve grown so much in the past two months that I cant even believe the progress that i’ve made sometimes. realizedd yesterday that i’ve lost contact with a lot of home folk that mean a lot to me so gotta get that straightened out asap. BREAKING NEWS!!! im going to be an auntie again!! yup the shinkbutt is prego nd im praying that its a girl. if it is a girl we gonna name her Ximora De’Sha. if its a boy we putting him up for adoption haha. sike. but she’s happy nd that means that im happy. my other lovee, BingBing, is having his third bday party today!!! that boy grew up too fast lol. cant wait to see him next month. nd gonna see the Shay.ster in Dec. she’ll be bringing in the new year on the east coast so im excitedd bout that. then january is my time to shine… haha. hope you all are well. love always. Tae’

nine.eleven…nd the entire month of september

ii woke up this morning at 2:35 for no reason at all because my alarm was clearly set for 3:10. but when ii looked at my phone the first thing ii noticed, besides the usual txts nd emails, was the date. eight yrs ago too many people lost their lives nd today too many families still grieve. where was ii?? ii was in my ninth grade english class when the first plane hit. when the news of the second plane came thru ii was sitting at a lunch table with all my peers. ii think thats the quietest i’ve ever seen a high school cafeteria… ppl were crying. calling home. trying to leave early nd obviously confused. ii remember sitting there huddled up crying, not knowing what to think or what to do. all of us in the same boat. helpless, confused, angry…thankful. for one of the first times in our lives we were staring the evil of the world in the face nd were old enough to understand but too young to really grasp what really happened. all we knew is that someone somewhere had attempted to ruin our country nd in the process ripped apart families, businesses nd hearts. forever ii remember nine.eleven.

one thing that ii realized last night was that just like terrorists came in nd invaded our space eight yrs ago… we have terrorists right here in america invading our space nd threatening our lives. nd for some reason not enough people care. people are dying everyday at the hands of “terrorists” nd we turn our backs as if it doesnt matter. that fact alone hurts me more because this is our homeland… GoD bless America but first…America bless GoD!!

bettermentation

yes ii am well aware that bettermentation is not a word but ii decided to use it anyway. who cares. anywho…. ii am frustrated beyond belief because ii REALLY REALLY need to sign up for these classes while ii have time nd am still motivated but dont know the first thing about online classes. think ii need an advisor asap. maybe ii just need to go to the education center on base. idk. but someone needs to help me like ral soon before ii get an attitude. just trying to stay on my hustle ya digg.

…irdk.

ii really dont know what is going on in my life recently. its not bad but its not good either. looking forward to a lot of things. kinda trying to hold on to the things that are to come. idk… faith will take you a long way. mommy nd the fam are doing well. ii love it. ii love lifee. nd some times things get bad nd ii hate it but at the end of the day ii dont know if ii wanna wake up in the morning but everyday im grateful that God keeps waking me. im happy to be alive.

down then up then down again

.uugghh. ii honestly dont know how ii feel right now. ii was doing good but now im just .here. trying to get thru life the best way that ii can. ii just wake up nd after that whatever happens is out of my hands. things were awesome nd then two days ago they got bad again nd tomo everything will probably look a lil better for me but either way im struggling trying to get thru weeks and maintain some sort of sanity. im slowly losing my mind but im grateful for being here rather than in baltimore. im loving the alone time and im loving kicking people out of my life even more. outside of family the only ones that ii even bother to contact are bittie bestie jada nd lady.bug nd thats because at the end of the day ii know that they are realer than most and that ii need them in my life just as much as they need me. sometimes ii cringe at the thought of going thru life alone but ii know that for people like me being set apart and isolated is the key to getting anything accomplished. this is where im most at peace and so even in the midst of my turmoil ii can rest in the fact that if ii were still at that place ii used to call home ii would be worse off than ii am now. just continue to pray.  not just for me but for my entire family. my mom is going thru a series of health issues so always always always keep her in your prayers please. lovee you all nd thanks to all who bother to continue to stop by here even when ii aint writing.

back where ii belong…

its monday nd im back in the ville. yess ii lovee it. so happy to get away from bmore. ii kinda enjoyed my time home but for the most part it was a very annoying reminder that its no longer home. its a sad reality to accept but what other choice do ii have. n.c is my home now. away from family nd the friendss that remain. away from the memories nd past that haunts me. this is my life now nd ii honestly lovee it. ii love being here by myself. ii love being able to disconnect myself from all those ppl with just the push of a red button on my cellular. its sad ii know but who cares. it is what it is nd im content. im finally back where ii belong nd from here on out ii wont be so eager to go  back to baltimore. the only reason ii have for taking that trip would be to see my mom. keep her in your constant prayers by the way… shes doing good but things will def get worse before they get better.

im home.

so… its thursday night. ii have been home since tuesday night and ii love being here. im happy nd at the same time ii hate it. ii want to go back to life as ii know it. go back to north carolina nd get away from here. thats it thats all.