[{GRaViTY}]

a lot on my mind

Posted in broke as a joke, car by Tanae' A. on October 9, 2009

been in a fairly good mood lately despite the craziness. suppose ii should start with the not so good things first nd then go from there::

first not so good thing:: since ii have been working NON STOP for the past FOUR WEEKS ii have slipped majorly in the health area of my life. now ii must try nd play catch up which means that ill be having doctors appts like every other day for no reason at all. nd you all know how much ii despise doctors.

second not so good thing:: ii lost someone very very special to me on yesterday. no he didnt die, but he’s dead to me. havent cried or shed any tears. not even upset or angry bout it. just rolling with the punches nd hoping that GoD would have mercy on him nd grant him favor. thats the only thing ii can ask for right now.

third not so good thing:: IM BROKE!!!

first great thing:: ii just brought a car!! hence the reason for the third not so good thing .lol. well actually broke to me means that ii dont have money to go out shopping for new sneakers every week. now ii wish ii woulda got those shoes three weeks ago instead of waiting. ugh. lol. but yess ii have a new baby without a name. 2oo9 toyota corolla nd SEXY if ii might say so myself.

second great thing:: dont keep ya fingers crossed on this one because my unit usually does things on their own time .BUT. ya girl was selected to go to Culinary Institute of America in January. yess, this is one of the BEST culinary schools that there is nd im soo excited to go. knowing my command ii wont go til this time next yr but .whatever. whenever they say go ill go .lol.

third great thing:: GoD is going a SERIOUS workk in me. this was truly going to go under the not so good things because to be honest… ii dont like this process at all. of course its a good thing but its one of the most uncomfortable things that ive had to go thru in a long time. ND IT DOESNT STOP!!! but im continuing to be submissive nd allow HiM to do whatever He needs to do in me so that He might workk thru me. even in my stubborn fits nd hard.headed ways im still standing firm nd TRYING to do everything that ii can to stay fokused nd on this straight nd narrow path… yall pray for me.

it’s called cause and effect people

Posted in car, depression, frustrations, issues by Tanae' A. on May 14, 2008
when gas goes up
people start stealing it
when gas prices sky rocket
people break into gas stations
so, whats the solution?? just rob the gas stations instead of the banks lmao. seriously, im in desperate need of a full tank and every time i go i get depressed.

you pay to party

so…this [[summer]] we are making HUGE plans to do EVERYTHING and be EVERYWHERE!! things like this cost money…or did no one tell you that?? ii am secretly upset because the Lil Wayne tickets went on sale yesterday morning and after paying bills ii didnt have any money to buy the tickets…ii am hoping that ii can get some good seats before he actually comes cause if we not up in there ii will be upset but oh well. thats not that serious. more pressing irritation…Silk’s Bday. ok, the 31st of this month is my homegurl Silk Rayon’s 21st birthday and we are going to LIVE IT UP!! this means that ii have to buy a dress, shoes, accessories and have enough money to eat and buy me and the bday gurl some drinks…we already got VIP on lock so ii aint gotta worry about that. ok, so whats the problem?? ii have to finish paying off my car and ii have to pay car insurance next pay so that means ii am officially BROKE!! of course, ii always find ways to salvage money out of somewhere so perhaps everything will work out okay. i’ll keep you posted on that event in the days to come.
im just saying…ii need to get on top of my A game cause ii cant be having all these plans with no money but its straight tho because after this pay the car is payed off and all ii gotta worry bout is insurance and a phone….can someone, anyone say hallelujah!! this [[summer]] is about to be right!!

uurrgghh…the pressure

Posted in car, decisions, issues, life, money, school, Tae', work, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on May 8, 2008
ok…i’m Tanae’. plain and simple. ii do what ii want, when ii want and if ii dont want to do something then ii wont do it. so why in the world are there people that continue to force me to do shit that ii dont want to do…YES II AM TALKING ABOUT SCHOOL. okay, okay…this is the point where you sigh and hang your head. ii know what the plan was, ii created it. ii know what the goal was, ii made it up. ii know what everyone was expecting….but oh.well. this is whats happening. first of all…gas is exactly three dollars and fifty seven cents as of 7:45 this morning. therefore driving to work everyday would force me to put gas in my tank at least three times a week. now lets average this out and weigh the options. as far as im concerned, a half tank in Bobby is like E so ii never let it get past that middle mark. if im exactly on a half tank it takes twenty to get me filled up. right now, i fill up ONCE A WEEK and that gets me every where ii need to go after work hours. ii also pay for a weekly bus pass which runs me 16.50…we can round that to twenty if you would like. so thats forty dollars of transportation in one week if i take the bus to work everyday. now, with the whole gas thing in mind, if ii fill up three times a week thats already sixty dollars in one week…plus parking. everyone knows that parking is not cheap in the city. so now, take that sixty and add a good ten to twenty dollars to it depending on where ii park at and that is 70 to 80 bucks out of my pocket every week…JUST TO DRIVE TO WORK!! i’ll take MTA. now, what does this have to do with school at all?? the original plan was to go to Sojourner Douglass College, of course that plan was put into motion before ii got my car and the plan was to drive. well, at that time ii wasn’t thinking of the financial aspect of it. anyways, if ii were to go to SDC which is two seconds from my job ii would have to drive to work everyday. so, ii started thinking a lil more reasonably. if ii go back to CCBC ii would only have to drive right up the street from my house to go to class…so after ii get off the bus ii can walk to my house, eat then get in my car and drive three minutes up the street. ok, so whats the problem. really there is none. ii want to go to CCBC and thats where ill go in the fall and everyone is okay with that except for the well-educated older cousin. sorry honey, im doing things my way. ii actually owe CCBC a couple [[hundred]] dollars but that should be in the clear by the time registration gets here. that just means that ii have to start saving up some money so that ii can have enough money to cover books if ii dont get the financial aid that ii am desperately praying for. ii just dont like feeling pressured to do something that ii dont want to do. ii want to go to CCBC and ii am well aware of the fact that it is not a four year college but its a start and if im going back then ii might as well start somewhere that im comfortable. it may not be what you prefer but im going the way ii want to go because thats the road im going to stay on. if ii try to do everyone elses way ii wont finish like ii should so everyone who dont like it can fall back…oh.boo.you this is MY life.

good, great…AWESOME!!!

ii called myself splurging on payday and so i did some online shopping. well, my clothes came in yesterday and the pants were TOO BIGG!!! ii am happy to know that ii can just take them to a local store and get a different size instead of sending them thru the mail again. and shink has to find something to wear for church so she’ll be tagging along. hopefully she’s in a better mood because she has to have her wisdom teeth pulled so she been acting kinda stank lately. oh well.
tomorrow is so not going to be the best of days. first off, i have to go an entire day away from Bobby Jack. gotta drop him off in the morning to get some reconstructive surgery. hopefully he only has to go back one more time but im not really worried about his bumper for now. after that is the anual turners station parade. ii am so NOT excited about this. every year its the same thing…chicks marching up the street in too short skirts and two dudes in the back tryna drop it like its hott. the same people walking around with 5 kids each trying to show off what they THINK they are doing with their lives….oh.boo.you and ya 4 baby daddies.
ii am, however, looking forward to sunday. PASTOR’S ANNOVERSARY!! ok. ii went to dance practice and choir rehearsal and ii want to do both. well really ii only want to sing one song with the choir but ii know that there is no way possible to do both and ii already have a part in the dance that ii cant turn down. so therefore, ii will be dancing and the choir will be on point and ii will be very very…not happy lol. FREE FOOD!!! that is the reason for my smile all day sunday because we all know that free food is the best food!! YaY!!
last week was some type of appreciation day…either assisstants or secretaries…something like that. whatever. anyways, we ended up having a luncheon. Pat Jessamy came by to drop off some pretty nice tokens of appreciation and someone even brought in some breakfast one morning. the best part of it all…we all have gotten two half days off work. of course, my first thought was…well two halves make a whole. but no. that thought was quickly shot down. we can only take TWO HALF DAYS and one of those will be used on Monday because ii know ii will be exhausted from sunday’s festivities.
great great great news… well the bad news is first. my bestest friend here in the office has just got another job in the division. she will be going to another district, another court house, another office. she is leaving me behind and my insides are crushed cause now ii have no one to eat lunch with every single day. but, good comes out of it. most of you know that for the past year and a half ii have been contractual. meaning, ii dont get benefits, no insurance, no pay on holidays…nothing. ii have been waiting patiently for a position to open up or for someone to move on and although she is the last person that ii want to leave ii am excited. because she is moving on ii automatically get her position and you know what that means?? BENEFITS!!! PAID HOLIDAYS!! INSURANCE!!! DID II MENTION THE PAID HOLIDAYS?? WELL, PAID HOLIDAYS!! AND VACATION TIME!!! PERSONAL DAYS!! SICK LEAVE!! BENEFITS!! you get it?? ok. good. but ii am happy. and altho ii am NOT excited about the work load, ii am excited about the PAID HOLIDAYS and the VACATION TIME [[just in time for summer]] and the SICK LEAVE… give me the docket if ii can get paid for Christmas lmao… but things do work themselves out ii suppose.
Happy Friday and have a great, wonderful and productive weekend!!

loving him more && more each day…

Posted in car, love, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on April 29, 2008
well…DuH…im referring to my lil hooptie Bobby Jack. we have done quite a bit of bonding over the past few days and right now ii just want to sit back and admire him in all of his excellence. ii do not wish to sit behind his wheel, ii have no desire to take him anywhere…he can sit in that parking lot and ii just want to look at him. seriously. you would think i’d be happy go lucky…wanting to drive every where the road can take me but nope. ii want to look at lil ol Bobby Jack and thats it. im tired of driving, tired of paying for gas and ii aint even been with him for a week yet. no, im not neglecting him at all, he’s there when ii need him but ii desperately want to hop in the back seat of my mom’s forenza and just ride. ii guess im gonna miss those days of being scauffered around lolzz. but, ii do lovezz my hoop…he is sexylicious. awesome and he’s MINE!! secret:: i think ii loved him more on saturday than ii do today but since its not raining ii love him more today than ii did yesterday!! lol… once we get him all pimped out ill have pic’s up but he is currently undergoing some reconstructive surgery

someone cry with me….please, jus shed a tear on my behalf

ok, so everyone knows that Katt Williams is coming to town next week. and everyone knows that ii purchased the tickets the FIRST day that they went on sale because ii could not possibly risk them being sold out. ii have been waiting for this for over a month now. doing a count down in my head. but then, someone mentioned a car…and you know all those funds so necessary for tags and insurance?? well, they kinda slapped me in the face and now im a lil on the broke side. so in order to get the well waited for vehicle to be in front of my house ii have to make sacrifices. yes, ii am giving up on my future baby daddy and selling my ticket to mommy and inside ii am dying but ii know that it will all be so worth it when ii am able to get behind the wheel of MY car on this coming FRIDAY!!! [[a moment of silence for the show that ii am going to miss…]] you know what, im gonna be ok, im gonna make it thru this grieving process and me and my future baby daddy are gonna have to meet up at a block buster somewhere at a later date… matter fact…my car now has a new name… Katt Jr…. no kidding….thats the vehicle name. and ii do understand if your heart is a lil sore from the unexpected change of plans… ii know how much you all wanted me to go and see my mans…
to all you N.O.R readers, Tae’ is back in full effect. poem is posted and we keeping up with the flow. leave me some comments too, ii wanna know what yall think

“let it burn, let it burn, gotta let it burn”

Posted in blessings, car, celebrations, complaining, money, phunni moments, thoughts, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on April 11, 2008
ok, why is it that NO ONE told me that there is so much that needs to be done BEFORE i sit behind the wheel of my new vehicle. who in their right mind decided that people had to PAY to get a car inspected…are you serious?? ok and why in God’s name does some plates cost so much daggone money?? for all that, ii can make my own daggone plate and put em on the darn car. and the insurance…oh dear heavenly Father, the insurance. ok, i understand i am high risk, i know that im a first time driver, i know that im gonna want full coverage if anything ever happens to my precious lil car….but is it really worth ALL that money?? and why must i put down such an expensive down payment?? uuummm hello, im a lil on the broke side?? i just dont understand. then ii looked at the news recently and saw the gas prices….oh Jesus, you can come and take the car back for all that. me and MTA do just fine together. point is, this whole car situation is burning a major hole thru both my pockets and my damn wallet and its not really too fun. ii guess in the end it’ll be well worth it but all ii want is to get behind the wheel of MY car and DRIVE!! is that really too much to ask?? it shouldnt cost me my entire life savings to just drive a vehicle. but, ii am forever grateful to God above for opening double doors for this lil ol chick, ii prob wont be behind the wheel next week but looks like moreso the end of this month and ii can shout about that right now…hey hey hey!! sike, but seriously, despite the burn marks that have been left on my pants and the stench of no money in my pockets…all is well with me and my pockets can continue to burn if it means ill be driving MY OWN CAR in a few weeks. now, alls we gotta do is pick a name for my baby and we will be set. haha. keep praying guys.