[{GRaViTY}]

a lot on my mind

Posted in broke as a joke, car by Tanae' A. on October 9, 2009

been in a fairly good mood lately despite the craziness. suppose ii should start with the not so good things first nd then go from there::

first not so good thing:: since ii have been working NON STOP for the past FOUR WEEKS ii have slipped majorly in the health area of my life. now ii must try nd play catch up which means that ill be having doctors appts like every other day for no reason at all. nd you all know how much ii despise doctors.

second not so good thing:: ii lost someone very very special to me on yesterday. no he didnt die, but he’s dead to me. havent cried or shed any tears. not even upset or angry bout it. just rolling with the punches nd hoping that GoD would have mercy on him nd grant him favor. thats the only thing ii can ask for right now.

third not so good thing:: IM BROKE!!!

first great thing:: ii just brought a car!! hence the reason for the third not so good thing .lol. well actually broke to me means that ii dont have money to go out shopping for new sneakers every week. now ii wish ii woulda got those shoes three weeks ago instead of waiting. ugh. lol. but yess ii have a new baby without a name. 2oo9 toyota corolla nd SEXY if ii might say so myself.

second great thing:: dont keep ya fingers crossed on this one because my unit usually does things on their own time .BUT. ya girl was selected to go to Culinary Institute of America in January. yess, this is one of the BEST culinary schools that there is nd im soo excited to go. knowing my command ii wont go til this time next yr but .whatever. whenever they say go ill go .lol.

third great thing:: GoD is going a SERIOUS workk in me. this was truly going to go under the not so good things because to be honest… ii dont like this process at all. of course its a good thing but its one of the most uncomfortable things that ive had to go thru in a long time. ND IT DOESNT STOP!!! but im continuing to be submissive nd allow HiM to do whatever He needs to do in me so that He might workk thru me. even in my stubborn fits nd hard.headed ways im still standing firm nd TRYING to do everything that ii can to stay fokused nd on this straight nd narrow path… yall pray for me.

you pay to party

so…this [[summer]] we are making HUGE plans to do EVERYTHING and be EVERYWHERE!! things like this cost money…or did no one tell you that?? ii am secretly upset because the Lil Wayne tickets went on sale yesterday morning and after paying bills ii didnt have any money to buy the tickets…ii am hoping that ii can get some good seats before he actually comes cause if we not up in there ii will be upset but oh well. thats not that serious. more pressing irritation…Silk’s Bday. ok, the 31st of this month is my homegurl Silk Rayon’s 21st birthday and we are going to LIVE IT UP!! this means that ii have to buy a dress, shoes, accessories and have enough money to eat and buy me and the bday gurl some drinks…we already got VIP on lock so ii aint gotta worry about that. ok, so whats the problem?? ii have to finish paying off my car and ii have to pay car insurance next pay so that means ii am officially BROKE!! of course, ii always find ways to salvage money out of somewhere so perhaps everything will work out okay. i’ll keep you posted on that event in the days to come.
im just saying…ii need to get on top of my A game cause ii cant be having all these plans with no money but its straight tho because after this pay the car is payed off and all ii gotta worry bout is insurance and a phone….can someone, anyone say hallelujah!! this [[summer]] is about to be right!!

someone cry with me….please, jus shed a tear on my behalf

ok, so everyone knows that Katt Williams is coming to town next week. and everyone knows that ii purchased the tickets the FIRST day that they went on sale because ii could not possibly risk them being sold out. ii have been waiting for this for over a month now. doing a count down in my head. but then, someone mentioned a car…and you know all those funds so necessary for tags and insurance?? well, they kinda slapped me in the face and now im a lil on the broke side. so in order to get the well waited for vehicle to be in front of my house ii have to make sacrifices. yes, ii am giving up on my future baby daddy and selling my ticket to mommy and inside ii am dying but ii know that it will all be so worth it when ii am able to get behind the wheel of MY car on this coming FRIDAY!!! [[a moment of silence for the show that ii am going to miss…]] you know what, im gonna be ok, im gonna make it thru this grieving process and me and my future baby daddy are gonna have to meet up at a block buster somewhere at a later date… matter fact…my car now has a new name… Katt Jr…. no kidding….thats the vehicle name. and ii do understand if your heart is a lil sore from the unexpected change of plans… ii know how much you all wanted me to go and see my mans…
to all you N.O.R readers, Tae’ is back in full effect. poem is posted and we keeping up with the flow. leave me some comments too, ii wanna know what yall think

we’re back in full effect

Posted in birthdays, broke as a joke, decisions, family, friends, him, people I love, thoughts by Tanae' A. on August 20, 2007

my brother will be home in less than two weeks and i am so super excited. now all i need is for my honey to come home in a few months and things will be like old times, at least for a little while. i am so excited to see both of them, being that they are the two closest males to me. matthew sent me about 4 messages yesterday telling me that he can drive in about two weeks. like i really care. that was rude. i do care and i am happy for him but i dont feel like being annoyed, you wanna know what really pisses me off?? shay and jazzy are actually friends with this dude. sorry guys, but he annoys the hell outta me. maybe, i’ve changed a lot. i just have low tolerance for annoying things and people right now. besides, all three of them together does not make for a good night, you all remember what happened last time we tried that dont you?? oh maybe i didnt tell you the story.

well, around last christmas we all decided we were gonna hang out. we went out to the movies and ended up going to my homegirls birthday party at this lil club. so, we was all on chills at first, had a few drinks, nothing big. then she-she comes up to the table and decides to sit down. i was sitting next to my honey, shay was next to me, matt was across from us next to phil. so, eventually me and phil got up to go dance and shay soon followed. we was just chilled out on the dance floor and next thing i know, matt comes up behind me. ok, everybody that knows me knows good and well i dont do all that freaky deaky mess on the dance floor, save that for the kiddie hoppers. so what did i do?? i turned around to face him and proceeded to do my lil two step. but he kept on getting in back of me… eventually i got pissed and told him to go fetch me a drink, by the time he got back i was sitting in my seat next to my honey having a very nice conversation. i dont think matt was too pleased about that.

so the next day, we had alreay decided to chill at matts and have a few drinks. so we all meet at my house after work and go head over there. everybody knows me and matt play a lot so we starts wrestling and stuff and acting like fools and i could tell my honey was mad but he wasn’t acting like it was a big deal. it was only 3 chairs in the living room and all the dudes had sat down so me and shay went into the room and sat on the bed and matt came in and said he wanted to talk to us so he closed the door… ooohhh my honey was mad. they started banging all on the door tellin us to come out, so we came out and both sat on matts lap… oh my goodness, my honey almost had a fit. eventually i could see that he was really getting pissed so i gave him a lil bit of my time but that was a very interesting night.

now, my honey does not like matt at all. i think its funny really but he was just really jealous about our friendship. needless to say, he’s happy now that we’re not as close as we used to be but all in all he dont wanna be hanging around with him like they all buddy buddy anyway. and phil cant stand him either so i guess its back to the old crew again. me, shay, phil and my honey.

i wonder how jaz is going to react to this. for the past 6 months its been just us three now all of a sudden things are bout to change. i guess we’ll see what happens and work from there. i just cant wait to see my brother… we’re making plans and bout to be celebrating brithdays… lets do this baby.

we are still trying to figure out what we are going to do for phil’s birthday… maybe a tattoo party would be cool. i’m just not for a real big party with a bunch of drunk people and loud music… so done with that nonsense. Better yet, he suggested that we just chill out and have a few beers. i think i like that idea a lil better. but god knows, i want to get the rest of my tattoo’s really soon and parlors charge too much money that i dont have right now. we’ll figure something out.

now onto bigger and better things, what do i get my honey for his birthday??

ok, im complaining… AGAIN!!

I AM SO EFFIN FRUSTRATED!!

I KNOW THAT I CANT DO EVERYTHING AT ONE TIME BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT IF SOMEONE JUST TRIED TO HELP ME I COULD DO THIS. IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE IS JUST LOOKING AT ME AND NOT DOING ANYTHING TO HELP ME OUT.

I’M STRESSING MYSELF OUT BECAUSE THERE’S SO MUCH THAT I WANT TO DO BUT I KNOW THAT I HAVE TO WAIT AND PATIENCE IS NOT MY THING. I’M TRYING, GOD KNOWS I AM BUT IM REALLY GETTING TICKED OFF BECAUSE I WANT SO BADLY FOR THIS MONEY TO FAL INTO MY LAP.

IN THE MIDST OF ALL OF MY HYSTERIA, I DO HAVE A FEW THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO. I CANT REALLY DISCLOSE ANY INFO BECAUSE I DONT KNOW FOR SURE IF THESE THINGS ARE GOING TO WORK OUT. BUT JUST KEEP PRAYING THAT EVERYTHING WORKS IN MY FAVOR. HOPEFULLY BY THE END OF THIS MONTH, ALL OF MY MONEY ISSUES WILL BE STRAIGHTENED OUT AND I’LL BE ABLE TO MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE.

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO BESIDES JUST STAY IN CONSTANT PRAYER CAUSE GOD ONLY KNOWS HOW CRAZY THIS SITUATION IS MAKING ME. I KNOW THAT I WILL GET THRU THIS (on my own) AND I WILL THEN HAVE SO MANY OTHER THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

money is funny & change is strange

Posted in bills, broke as a joke, debt, frustrations, money by Tanae' A. on August 13, 2007

I have a lot of things on my mind today. There is a lot going on in my life and it’s starting to really stress me out. I dont handle stress well. I’m praying that these issues disappear soon but I know that they wont. Maybe if I tell you all about them, I will feel a little better.

Money is my issue. I cannot stand money at all. I secretly wish everything in the world was five dollars or less. But unfortunately, I owe a lot of people. Well, let me take that back, I dont owe a lot of people, I owe a little bit of people. More like 3 0r 4 people but the point is…. I owe. This is stressing me out because I feel as tho I am working just to pay someone else who is already getting paid to harrass me about a payment. So what am I going to do?? I am going to grit my teeth and pay off all these stupid stupid bills and I will not eat carryout for the next month and that is a hard thing to come to grips with.

Carry out is not really a huge issue because next month I’ll be back up to par on the bill thing… everything will be taken care of but now I’m kinda messed up because all the money that was supposed to be going to the bank is now going to these stupid stupid bill collectors. So how do we solve that problem?? We get a second job. And what do we do with the money from the second job?? We put it in the bank. So where is the money that we get to spend?? THERE IS NONE!!! We dont get to spend any money. We save and we save and work as much as possible and we do what we have to do in order to get ahead.

So why am I so frustrated right now?? I now have to apply for a second job. A second job means that I wont have any time to do things that I want to do. And everything that I want to do consists of spending money because the world is just so daggon expensive. And since I cant do anything that I want to do, I’ll just be in a really crappy mood. But even more than that… I can do the one thing that I want to do which is go back to school… and can anyone guess why?? BECAUSE I DONT HAVE ANY MONEY!! Correct! I am broke, that means that I dont even have money to pay for classes!!! And I cant get financial aid from the school BECAUSE I OWE THEM MONEY…and I cant get aid from the gov’t BECAUSE I OWE THEM MONEY!! So I will have to wait… a whole semester before I can go back to school and do anything with myself.

So, if anybody is wondering what it is that I am doing with my life, please just know that I will be working non-stop just to make a dollar out of fifteen cents. And if anybody out there feels the need to just pray on my behalf it would be greatly appreciated!! LoL!! Really tho.

I want you all to know that it may seem as tho I am complaining… which I am. But I am better than blessed. I have enough money to pay off every single bill that is waiting for me and that may mean that I have to make some sacrifices but I am blessed enough to be able to laugh about something as simple as not having money. I can still afford the simple things that so many people in this world cant afford so trust me when I say that I am completely Thankful to God for even putting me in a position where I am able to pay off all these stupid bills without really having to struggle.

As always… keep praying and never ever stop.

nnnoooo, i dont wanna grow up!!!

Posted in bills, broke as a joke, debt, money by Tanae' A. on August 10, 2007

Yesterday, in my beautiful black mail box, was to envelopes with my name on them. I often get excited when I get mail… I never know who its from and most times its something interesting to look over. But, that was so not the case on last evening. I wanted to put both of those emails back in the mail and send them to whoever decided to hit me with them. What were they?? Bills.

I do not have a problem with bills. Well, I try not to have a problem with bills. Usually, I can just pay them off and keep on moving. But, there came a time when I sorta ignored my bills. I let them pile up and sooner rather than later these little bills became huge bills that I didn’t want to have to pay. But because I soon plan on getting my money right and moving out on my own, I decided that now is the time to get my credit back up to par before its too late.

So today, I called these great people who want to take all of money. They were very nice, but, then again, I dont think that there’s any nice way to say… “Give me what you owe me now!!…or else!” So, I did the next best thing and I set up payment plans.

The good thing… I will have all of my small bills paid off by the time September hits. Bad thing… I will be paying back school loans for the next year. I am grateful, however, because i know that there are some people who are left paying off school loans for up to five even ten years…and I would be severely depressed if I had to pay someone for that long. But anyway, I had a great plan going for myself. I was going to splurge this month and then get down on a tight budget and pay off these bills at my own leisure.

I think these people had another plan for me. For the rest of this month, I am broke. Like, broker than broke. I have enough money to live, I cant even get a snowball if I wanted to. I cant afford to hit up the dollar menu anymore because I am that broke. I can’t even afford to lose a dollar because I am just that broke… and I know that as soon as next pay comes I will be even more depressed over these stupid bills. At least right now I have 70 dollars to my name. If I was smart, I would save half of that so that next week, just in case I get hungry, I would have enough money to grab a bite to eat, even if it is a measly double cheesburger…

I wish, I wish, with all my might. To go back to the age of nine. And get away from all these bills, that rob my pockets and cause great shrills, I wish, I wish with this heart of mine, to go back when rich was a dime.

I WISH THAT FOR ONLY A MONTH AND A HALF…THE WORLD DID NOT REVOLVE AROUND MONEY!! I AM TIRED OF PEOPLE CHARGING TOO MUCH AND ME NOT HAVING ENOUGH.

can you believe, i went into 7-11 the other day and one donut was 1.09… when I first moved by that store they were .69 cents. I dont understand

I AM SO EFFIN EXCITED!!!

Posted in bills, broke as a joke, commitment, debt, money, pain, tithes, weekend by Tanae' A. on May 1, 2007

I always hear people say that when you tithe you get everything back in all these different ways and what not… but still.. I was never ever the one to even think about putting 10% in for offering. What can I say…. I’m broke and I’m cheap!! LoL!!

So, I went against myself and decided I was going to tithe. And you know that every two weeks when it came down to getting my money right, I gritted my teeth and almost went into seizures when sunday morning came… but I did it! YaY Me!! Until… Bishop mentions a commitment. Oh My God, are you really serious. So I’m looking at this paper with all the different lil levels on it and I’m silently praying that this is a joke. Um… it wasn’t. So I made a commitment.. and I was going to pick the lowest one but I didnt. And so every two weeks for the past 4 months I have been paying tithes… PLUS a commitment… can somebody say ‘sacrifice’…

Not to mention… My goal by the summer is to be completely out of debt. I hate puttin little small payments down only to pay on the same stupid bill for 110 months. I’d rather just put down one or two big payments and have it be over with. So Cingular hit me up and told me last month that I had to pay these two huge payments that are more than half of what I get paid. So friday I get my check and I run to the bank and I sit down to really get all my funds together. Tithes, commitment, mommy, NaNa’s phone bill, Cingular… done. But then, uumm okay where’s my money at? I HAVE NONE!! This is like detramental… seriously. I had enough money to get the bus back and forth for a week… and that was it. This is a major problem.

So… the entire weekend I was on this ‘no shoppin’ kick and I was so hurt because saturday I saw these green pumps that were ON SALE and sooo cute and I immediately thought of ten things I could wear them with… But my dream was killed by the huge reminder in my head that screamed too loudly… “Hello, you’re broke remember!!” So yesterday, I was starving after dance rehearsal and me and my mom decided to stop at the pantry to get something to drink. And I’m wondering if They will break my big bills cause if not… I really wont have any 1’s to get on the bus. So I’m going through my purse and I get my M&T envelope and I look in it and see a 20. Uuuumm okay… I know I didnt have any 20’s cause the bank gave me all big bills… so what is this? What is it?? OMG… is this really $90?? You should’ve seen me and my mom sitting in this car trying to figure out if this was extra money or just something I had sitting to the side. Turns out… this was money I had left over from last pay that I didnt use. And I didnt even know I had it until last night. Then to make something great even better, my mom gets home and tells me that she still has $60 of mine that I told her to hold on to last pay… [i thought I def spent that money]… so now I have $150 extra and thats more than what I need to last me the next two weeks and I can go get my green pumps… TODAY!! Now isn’t that just luvli!! LoL!!

I’m excited about that yall!! I dont know if all this money came cause of my tithing or not but I know for sure that from now on I’m tithing without complaining cause I like finding money in weird places… [shink, I got an Ivy testimony!!! LoL]