can you kick it? cause ii KICKS it…

Posted in AJB & AP, Baltimore, lets have CHURCH!!, the [[OUTZZ]] of my life..., work by Tanae' A. on July 9, 2008
the past week has been a very interesting one. ii have realized a lot of things but the one that sticks out the most right now is that ii really really really do not like my job. ii love the people here. ii love being in this office but ii hate the work that ii do. never thought ii would say that. but ii guess its true what they say: to whome much is given, much is required. so now im being worked to death and part of me cant handle it but part of me knows that ii must master the task at hand in order to get the next level. im on my way to the top and kicking down every closed door that stands in my way.
this coming friday is a day that ii am looking forward to. ii am going to Kicking it with The KING at New Psalmist and ii am ssoo ssoo excited about it. being out on a friday night, party starts at 12 and its all JESUS…ii gotta feel good about that. but ii am even more excited because the best group in B-More is going to be performing. yup.you guessed it right. AJB and Answered Prayers are you going to be in the house. like my mans T.B. says:: if you dont show up, ya mam obviously didnt raise you right. lolzz. but everyone who is anyone ought to be in the place. ima be there at 9:30. doors open at 10 and the party starts at MIDNIGHT. its going to be a llloooonnnggg night and this chick plans on sleeping in on saturday lol.
hope you all have a great wonderful blessed week and weekend.

uurrgghh…the pressure

Posted in car, decisions, issues, life, money, school, Tae', work, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on May 8, 2008
ok…i’m Tanae’. plain and simple. ii do what ii want, when ii want and if ii dont want to do something then ii wont do it. so why in the world are there people that continue to force me to do shit that ii dont want to do…YES II AM TALKING ABOUT SCHOOL. okay, okay…this is the point where you sigh and hang your head. ii know what the plan was, ii created it. ii know what the goal was, ii made it up. ii know what everyone was expecting….but oh.well. this is whats happening. first of all…gas is exactly three dollars and fifty seven cents as of 7:45 this morning. therefore driving to work everyday would force me to put gas in my tank at least three times a week. now lets average this out and weigh the options. as far as im concerned, a half tank in Bobby is like E so ii never let it get past that middle mark. if im exactly on a half tank it takes twenty to get me filled up. right now, i fill up ONCE A WEEK and that gets me every where ii need to go after work hours. ii also pay for a weekly bus pass which runs me 16.50…we can round that to twenty if you would like. so thats forty dollars of transportation in one week if i take the bus to work everyday. now, with the whole gas thing in mind, if ii fill up three times a week thats already sixty dollars in one week…plus parking. everyone knows that parking is not cheap in the city. so now, take that sixty and add a good ten to twenty dollars to it depending on where ii park at and that is 70 to 80 bucks out of my pocket every week…JUST TO DRIVE TO WORK!! i’ll take MTA. now, what does this have to do with school at all?? the original plan was to go to Sojourner Douglass College, of course that plan was put into motion before ii got my car and the plan was to drive. well, at that time ii wasn’t thinking of the financial aspect of it. anyways, if ii were to go to SDC which is two seconds from my job ii would have to drive to work everyday. so, ii started thinking a lil more reasonably. if ii go back to CCBC ii would only have to drive right up the street from my house to go to class…so after ii get off the bus ii can walk to my house, eat then get in my car and drive three minutes up the street. ok, so whats the problem. really there is none. ii want to go to CCBC and thats where ill go in the fall and everyone is okay with that except for the well-educated older cousin. sorry honey, im doing things my way. ii actually owe CCBC a couple [[hundred]] dollars but that should be in the clear by the time registration gets here. that just means that ii have to start saving up some money so that ii can have enough money to cover books if ii dont get the financial aid that ii am desperately praying for. ii just dont like feeling pressured to do something that ii dont want to do. ii want to go to CCBC and ii am well aware of the fact that it is not a four year college but its a start and if im going back then ii might as well start somewhere that im comfortable. it may not be what you prefer but im going the way ii want to go because thats the road im going to stay on. if ii try to do everyone elses way ii wont finish like ii should so everyone who dont like it can fall back…oh.boo.you this is MY life.

good, great…AWESOME!!!

ii called myself splurging on payday and so i did some online shopping. well, my clothes came in yesterday and the pants were TOO BIGG!!! ii am happy to know that ii can just take them to a local store and get a different size instead of sending them thru the mail again. and shink has to find something to wear for church so she’ll be tagging along. hopefully she’s in a better mood because she has to have her wisdom teeth pulled so she been acting kinda stank lately. oh well.
tomorrow is so not going to be the best of days. first off, i have to go an entire day away from Bobby Jack. gotta drop him off in the morning to get some reconstructive surgery. hopefully he only has to go back one more time but im not really worried about his bumper for now. after that is the anual turners station parade. ii am so NOT excited about this. every year its the same thing…chicks marching up the street in too short skirts and two dudes in the back tryna drop it like its hott. the same people walking around with 5 kids each trying to show off what they THINK they are doing with their lives….oh.boo.you and ya 4 baby daddies.
ii am, however, looking forward to sunday. PASTOR’S ANNOVERSARY!! ok. ii went to dance practice and choir rehearsal and ii want to do both. well really ii only want to sing one song with the choir but ii know that there is no way possible to do both and ii already have a part in the dance that ii cant turn down. so therefore, ii will be dancing and the choir will be on point and ii will be very very…not happy lol. FREE FOOD!!! that is the reason for my smile all day sunday because we all know that free food is the best food!! YaY!!
last week was some type of appreciation day…either assisstants or secretaries…something like that. whatever. anyways, we ended up having a luncheon. Pat Jessamy came by to drop off some pretty nice tokens of appreciation and someone even brought in some breakfast one morning. the best part of it all…we all have gotten two half days off work. of course, my first thought was…well two halves make a whole. but no. that thought was quickly shot down. we can only take TWO HALF DAYS and one of those will be used on Monday because ii know ii will be exhausted from sunday’s festivities.
great great great news… well the bad news is first. my bestest friend here in the office has just got another job in the division. she will be going to another district, another court house, another office. she is leaving me behind and my insides are crushed cause now ii have no one to eat lunch with every single day. but, good comes out of it. most of you know that for the past year and a half ii have been contractual. meaning, ii dont get benefits, no insurance, no pay on holidays…nothing. ii have been waiting patiently for a position to open up or for someone to move on and although she is the last person that ii want to leave ii am excited. because she is moving on ii automatically get her position and you know what that means?? BENEFITS!!! PAID HOLIDAYS!! INSURANCE!!! DID II MENTION THE PAID HOLIDAYS?? WELL, PAID HOLIDAYS!! AND VACATION TIME!!! PERSONAL DAYS!! SICK LEAVE!! BENEFITS!! you get it?? ok. good. but ii am happy. and altho ii am NOT excited about the work load, ii am excited about the PAID HOLIDAYS and the VACATION TIME [[just in time for summer]] and the SICK LEAVE… give me the docket if ii can get paid for Christmas lmao… but things do work themselves out ii suppose.
Happy Friday and have a great, wonderful and productive weekend!!

time flies when you’re having fun…

Posted in blessings, celebrations, work by Tanae' A. on January 29, 2008
Ladies and Gentlemen… congratulate me::
I have been at my job for one year today!! On January 29, 2007 I walked into this office and began this wonderful journey. I must admit, the 9-5 thing is still killing me but I am getting used to it by the day. I just want the world around me to know that I am so super blessed to be here in this office and I am excited to see what happens in the year ahead…

in the perfect position to pray

Posted in frustrations, life, prayer, Uncategorized, when everything goes wrong, work by Tanae' A. on December 13, 2007

I was always told that when you get to your lowest point you have no where to go but up. That may be true, but I have learned to take complete advantage of being at my lowest point. You see, when you are at your lowest, you are either laid out because you have given up or you are on your knees trying to somehow get back on your feet. You are either laying prostrate or you are bowing down to Him but no matter what position you find yourself in you are in the perfect position to pray.

Right now, I am a mixture of hurt and angry but I think [well actually I know] that I am more angry than anything. Really, I’m pissed and here’s why. There was a certain someone that I wanted to help. I helped this person, gave them my last and some more but its funny how people treat you. Dont sit in my face and call me fake or anything like it cause I am the realest person that you know so you cant really sit and act like I aint real. Fake is when your words contradict your actions and if I fell into the phony category I would admit it but I am real. I tell it how it is no matter what it is. I dont say I am going to do something and then not do it and I aint never lied bout jack shit so dont step to me like you stupid. Then to top it all off you have the nerve to try and give me the boot… haha!! Okay you funny. But when I erase ya number out of my phone and keep on going like it aint nothing then you wanna come at me with all these apologies… UURRGGGHHH!!! I HATE SOME PEOPLE!! Hate is a very strong word so sorry bout that but I truely dislike the way some people act and carry themselves. I aint staying around just to have anyone act all wishy washy with me. Either you in or you out but make up your mind cause I do not have the time nor the patience for young games.

If you really wanna piss me off… come at me wit a bullcrap apology after you very rudely kick me to the curb and then get mad when I turn you down and keep walking. And if you wanna really really really wanna piss me off… come at me wrong on the day of my Christmas party WHEN I DONT HAVE ANY ALCOHOL IN MY SYSTEM YET!!

Well, other than the minor issues, today was a good day. I enjoyed my Christmas party, got some wonderful gifts, ate some great food, and took some fun pictures with some great people so I am happier than happy and my day is somewhat complete!!

&& i could not ask for more

I am tired this morning because the crazy people that i call my friends insist on calling me at 12:30 in the morning to say happy birthday way too loudly. And from then on my phone has not stopped ringing but its okay…i am grateful to have people that care enough to remember my birthday. I woke up this morning way too late and took an extra long shower and got dressed. Then i sat around talking to my mommy about NOTHING so she decided to take me to work. And I was so excited because the crazy people that I work with sang and danced like there was no tomorrow and I even got BALLOONS!!! Now how cool is that. So I am having a good day so far. I am going to spend my night with my besties and we are going to hang out and laugh and take pictures and wake up in the morning to pancakes and bacon!! Ow.. thats hott.

But, even under all this excitement and happiness, I am still a lil sad. My Ley Ley is not coming down to spend my birthday with me and I am really upset about it. We got into a really bad argument on wednesday so she decided to make other plans for her weekend and then calls me yesterday  to make up and tell me that she wont be coming down. So I was upset but I didn’t really mind cause she sais she would still come down on Saturday but what do ya know?? Today, in the midst of all my excitement she hits my phone telling me that she’s not coming at all because she wont have a way. [[well, um if you weren’t going to some stupid party you would have a way from your house but whatever]] So, yeah, um im a lil pissed right now but I cant be mad on my birthday so I’m not tripin over it. I’m going to have fun regardless whether she’s there or not. And lets see if I call her phone all weekend since she wants to be a lil party girl.


a good weekend=a bad monday

Okay, its not really a bad monday but…

Friday I really had a serious attitude. It was raining outside, I didn’t feel well and my sister was getting on my last half of nerve. After 45 minutes of standing on the bus stop I hopped on the first thing I saw coming. My mom had to pick me up somewhere cause I got on the wrong bus on purpose and then she had to run to the dollar store. Jazzy persuaded me to go to Jason’s Woods with them so I went home to change clothes. We drove for about an hour and then decided to turn around because the weather was too bad and we were hydroplaning [i learned that in driving school ha] and swerving like crazy. So we settled on going to Red Lobster and we ate some of the best food ever. The waiter was really really nice so we left him a big tip and then we went to the pool hall. Me and Matt shot around for a lil bit while Jazzy and Shay looked at us like we were crazy and then around 1 we got in the house.

Of course I was mad as hell when I had to wake up at 8 on Saturday morning. I got dressed and was out the door at 9. I managed to make it to Amy’s to get my hair done about 10 minutes after 10 and I didn’t leave there til about 1 cause mommy got lost coming to pick me up. So, with a headache and growling tummy, I hopped in the car. I was so hungry that I ate a half of chicken box and some food from wendy’s LoL!! so fat!! But anyways… we stopped at the halloween store so that I could get some stuff for the party I was going to go to. We got back in the house and I packed all my bags and was ready to go. Shink plucked my nerves for 10 hours before we left out the house but once we got to Jazzy’s she straightened up a bit. Once we got there our dacquiris (sp) were done and our food was cooking. We walked next door for a while and soon and very soon we sat down to eat. Ronnie hooked us up with some smothered pork chops, cabbage, spanish rice and corn pudding… the food was on point!! After that, Jazzy helped me get my outfit together and then we left to go to Dougs party.

Since we couldn’t find a ride we ended up walking… let me tell you. I had on a mini skirt, some fishnet stockings, some knee boots, and a lil ass black shirt… that outfit does not mix with walking up the street for 20 minutes in the freezing cold. But, I did it and we finally made it. When we got there it was really early still but there were mad people in there. It had to be no later than 8:30 and half of them were already drunk… it didn’t make no sense. We walked around and talked to everyone for a while and then we sat down and watched these people act like fools. Surprisingly, we didn’t drink anything that night besides the dacquiris (sp) that Ronnie made for us… and let me tell you, it is funny watching other drunk people when you’re sober LoL!! but anyways, we left around 12:30. Got in the house, ate some left over food and crashed.

We woke up Sunday morning ready to go to church. [well me and Shink were ready, Jazzy wanted to stay home] Eventually we got her dressed and made her come and she was glad that she did. The sermon was right on time and I think it was something that we all kinda needed to hear. We went to Golden Corale, laughed with Mommy a lil bit and eventually drove back to the house. Mommy went inside and we sat in the car and took the best nap this world has seen. An hour later we were on our way back up Sycamore and into the church. The choir was on point!! The service was extremely long and I was extremely tired but I still stayed til the end. We walked up the street and helped Jazzy with her project that she waited til the last minute to do. By the time we were finished it was 10:30 and I was beat. I went home and hopped face first in the bed and was pised when my alarm went off this morning.

I was so tempted to not come to work because I really feel like crap. My head hurts, my stomach hurts, I think I have a fever and I just do not feel good at all. I will probably end up going home early cause if not I do not think I will make it thru the rest of this day. It is freezing cold outside so I was really mad when I walked out the house this morning. Lucky for me, I put on a sweater and some boots and a scarf cause if not I would probably freeze to death.

I was going to go to dance rehearsal today after work but when I got up I quickly changed my mind. I may just wait and go next monday cause there is no way I am going to make it today. The only thing I want to do is go home and get in the bed… anybody got a thermometer??

I have been bad this week…

Posted in morning, tired, weekend, work by Tanae' A. on September 28, 2007

I dont know what I was thinking but this kind of behavior has def caught up to me cause I’m feeling it now. What have I been doing that is so bad?? I’m glad you are curious enough to ask. I have been staying up late every day this week like I dont have a job.

This madness started on Sunday night when I just decided to sit around the living room watching tv. Soon as 9:30 hit I decided that I wasn’t tired enough to go to sleep. Well, this has been the pattern I have been following since then. I have been sitting up like it everyday was friday and now that it really is friday, I want nothing more than to jump face first into a deep sleep and not be waken up until 10am tomorrow morning, to the smell of pany-kakes of course!! hehe!! But, I seriously do not know what got into me… I was seriously staying up til like almost 1:00 am every single night this week, and I wonder why 6:30 come so soon. It felt good to sit up late but I  have made a mental note to myself that I will not, under any circumstances what-so-ever, stay up past 10 at the very latest on a work night. The funny thing is that every single night, everyone has been telling me to go get in the bed cause they know that by 9 I am usually out like a light. I should have listened to them and went to sleep while I still had the chance. Now, its friday and I am exhausted and I dont want to go anywhere or do anything… besides, I dont have any money to do anything anyway or go anywhere so oh well… Driving school has to be paid for in two weeks so there is no way in bajesus that I am even bout to go to some fancy smanchy restaurant, these fools better order some pizza and rent a few movies and call it a night… well, thats just my opinion.

I need to suffer the consequences for showing out this week… my punishment… in bed by 10pm tonight… or better yet, maybe 8… now, that sound reasonable.

you wouldn’t believe the thursday i just had!

It started out like any other ordinary day, I didn’t feel well but I still made my way to work like I always do. Upon my arrival, I walked with my co-workers to get breakfast and then I proceeded to do some work. Around 9:30 I got a text message from someone so I responded and continued on with my day and less than a half our later I attempted to call my brother and the words “service not available” showed up on my phone. So, I was a little confused, I didn’t know what this meant so a few minutes later it said the same thing so then I got worried. I did what I always do when something is wrong with my phone, I hopped online to pull up my account just to make sure that everything was on point. But when I went to put in my number and password it said that my number was no longer in service. So what did I do?? I called the good people at Boost Mobile. And of course they gave me the run around and finally they told me the problem. Someone had tapped into my password, put my number on a different sim card and then put a brand new number to my sim… huh?? How could this be?? No one knows. So after speaking with the manager who knew absolutely nothing, I called back again and spoke with some nice little foreign lady. I didn’t understand any of what she said so [not so] politely asked her if I could speak with someone else. So then she transfered my to some siddity cheerleader lady who was dumb enough to tell me that all that i could do was call the police because she couldn’t give me any information on my phone unless I filed a police report. So now I’m trippin, what is the police going to do for me when all someone did was change some info on my phone?? Nobody stole my identity or did anything with my social security number so lady, I dont think you know what you are talking about. She gives me some number to call and tells me that this sort of thing happens all the time. So I said okay and about a half hour later I called Law Enforcement. This lady officer who answered the phone literally laughed in my face. She laughed at me yall and she didn’t try to hide. She asked me what idiot told me to call them and why. So after I felt like a dumby for even attempted to call them I called Boost back and I had an attitude to last me for a whole year. I promise you, I stayed on hold for about an hour and a half so that they could figure out what was going on and what I could do. After getting the run-around all morning long a nice lady named Brandy hopped on the phone and said that she was going to try to help me. She asked me for all my info and I couldn’t tell her anything because whoever got into my account changed the address, passcode, phone number, and all the security questions. And they changed the name to Jokers Jinx… how effin funny right!! No. So she finally told me that she could put the number back in my name, change all the info back and put all the money back into my account if I bought a new sim card within 24 hours. So, I was frustrated after that but I was thankful that someone somewhere could help me do something that even the manager could not do…so kudos go out to her for helping me.

So, after all that I finally went to lunch an hour late and got some great food with Teia. I ended up being in another office for the rest of the day because some victims were still waiting for their cases to be heard and at 4:45 I was out the door. By the time I got home I was really ready to chill out but I still had to go and get me a new sim card. I called my aunt and told her to take me to Logan Village on the way down to revival. She said yes so I ran into the store and was on my way out 3 minutes later. We hopped in the van and out of nowhere my aunt says “Yall, there goes Larry Tate” “What?? What are you talking about” “Yall, he is walkin up the street…look!” “Oh Jesus, it’s him in the flesh!!” He came over and gave us all some love and that was the one thing that made my day so much better. I saw my cousin walking around in Logan Village after being in intensive care for three weeks. The last time I talked to anyone it was a week ago and they told me that he was in the same condition and was not making improvement and here he was walking around the shoppin center healthy as all get-out. Now, that right there erased every problem that had occured with my stupid stupid phone.

We got to the church and there was no one there so we stepped outside so that I could let them know that I had gotten my new sim card and like they promised, everything was back to normal. I was excited because I now had a phone. YaY!!! I ended up having to switch all my numbers to my new phone which took me forever but I will not complain. Service was good, I laughed with my sweethearts and I got in the bed about 5 hours past my bed time so I was extremely tired this morning. But, we are having a pizza party at work, and we’re going to revival again tonight, and i might even take a trip to the pool hall. I’m getting up bright and early tomorrow morning to go to MVA [because when I went last weekend they were closed] and I hope and pray that I will see my bestie this weekend cause I miss her o so much.

It’s friday, it has been a good week despite my head cold that lasted too long. And I am so excited that I may be going to 7:30 service on sunday morning and sunday school… The weekend is here.. lets make it count…

I love my big cuzzo Larry and my lil sis Drea…

y do i read my horoscope??

Posted in blessings, community, death, decisions, lost one, money, people I love, prayer, work by Tanae' A. on August 31, 2007

Last week, this is what my horoscope said… Do not over work yourself, everything that you need will come to you without the extra exhaustion.

so what did I do?? I started a part-time job!! Yesterday was my first and last day!!! Let me state for the record… before I even got hired everything in my mind was telling my not to take the job because I wouldn’t be able to do. But, me being me, I just had to go and do something dumb like actually try to work two jobs knowing that it was going to be too much to deal with.

Yesterday had to be the longest most annoying day of my entire life. The store didn’t close until 10… THE CLOSING TIME IS 9:30 but some Rafa’s had to come in there and buy the entire sales rack and then try on every single piece of clothing before they purchased it. The dumb girl that closed the registered couldn’t count money and by the time I got out of the store it was 10:30 and way past my bed time. I was sleepy and irritated because all day long I had been unlocking fitting rooms for people who insisted on trying on the same article of clothing in every style color and size. By the time I actually got to the bus stop it was almost 11 and I was beat. Two buses came a lil after the hour, but neither of them was the 4. So, I waited patiently and then I ended up having to call a cab that costed me 9 dollars that I did not have. I got home a lil after 11:30 and by the time I got myself together and got inthe bed it was 12:30. I was beat, tired, and had a headache that will last me until tomorrow. And by the time I fell asleep I had already made up my mind that I was never going to step foot in that store another day in my life… I dont even like the clothes well enough so the discount would do me no justice.

Right now, I want to go get in a bed and go to sleep but I had to press my way to work this morning and ignore the temptation to just stay home and sleep in. I have to wash clothes when I get home and I dont feel like it and I also have to wake up early in the morning to go to MVA… I dont want to do that either… but it will be alright.

I think that from now on I am going to take the advice of my horoscopes and even if not I am going to listen to the 50 people that told me not to get a part time job. Please just pray that my finances work themselves out which I believe they will… I’m beginning to see the light at the end of this tunnel that I have been in for way too long. Yesterday and today I was able to afford breakfast and lunch… now, that my friends, is a blessing. Cause only God knows how much I hate bring lunch to work and eating before I get here.

Let me thank Jesus publicly for keepin me safe last night while I sat on the corner waiting for the bus that never came… I really appreciate his protection!!



oh and guys, please pray for my big cousin Larry, he had a really bad asthma attack that left him in Intensive Care on a respirator. He’s coming along but he’s still got a long way to go before he gets better. So send up some prayers for him and also pray for the family of the young man that was shot by police officers yesterday morning. I dont know how much of what the Police Department has said is true but I know that his family is grieving. His aunt is a co-worker of mine… Just pray for everyone really… Pray for our communities.