[{GRaViTY}]

saying goodbye

Tomorrow morning sad and hurting hearts will gather to say goodbye to Ms. Sarah. They will come together to support one another and to pay their last respects to a lady that will not be forgotten. I wish I could go but unfortunately I have to work but my sister and bestie are all going to support the family, especially Victoria. I think goodbye is one of the hardest things that we can say to someone and this week I know that lots have struggled with having to say those two simple words. I am happy tho, and I feel very blessed to know that I am apart of a supporting church family that comes together no matter what happens to support one another. I am happy that so many of Shiloh’s members have gathered in that house that I have walked past so many times. They have gone to support a family that is pained by a loss. I know that tomorrow will be hard day for them and my prayers are def. wit them all day long. I just hope and pray that even after tomorrow, they remember that God is there to comfort them and that she is there watching over them all but more importantly she is in their hearts.

Good bye Ms. Sarah… watch over us all

R.I.P Brielle… && thank you for strengthening the gurls. They miss you terribly but they are doing so good and they are growing and realizing that life is worth living. Thank you especially for watching and keeping Lucy, you have somehow managed to give her some type of direction and I know that you are proud of her. She is a beautiful girl and she is learning to be as strong as you were. One Love.

my poo butt shay…

In the 6th grade I met a lot of crazy girls!! LoL!! They were my chicks all thru middle school…we got in trouble together, we fought with each other, we beefed over dumb stuff, we supported each other and we tried our best to give each other advice about issues that none of us knew about. I remember all the fights and good times and memories back at DMS… those were the good days. After middle school most of us went our seperate ways. About 4 of us went to the same high school and the rest of them were history. One of them girls that tagged along to high school was Shay, we were closest to her out of all them crazies. But anyways, since the first day of middle school til like 11th grade it was us three: Shanae’, Tanae’ and Nashay [yes all three of our names rhyme!!] Eventually Shay moved and she was no longer there everyday but we still kept in touch. She was still there for all the occasions and two years later she was still calling us her ‘best friends’ LoL!! I love my chick…she has been thru a lot in the past two years and yesterday we sat down and had a super long talk about so much stuff that she has been dealing with. So, I’ll make it my business to be there for her and I’ll make sure that she is in church bright and early sunday morning and i’ll do what I can to help her to rebuild that relationship with God. She just needs to know that no matter how many times you turn away from Him, He’ll always be there waiting for you to turn back to Him. Bottom line, I love my poo butt Shay and for the longest time, she has been there for me holding me down so now its time to be there for her. She is my longest friend and there are not too many people that I can truely call a friend but she is one of them.

you wouldn’t believe the thursday i just had!

It started out like any other ordinary day, I didn’t feel well but I still made my way to work like I always do. Upon my arrival, I walked with my co-workers to get breakfast and then I proceeded to do some work. Around 9:30 I got a text message from someone so I responded and continued on with my day and less than a half our later I attempted to call my brother and the words “service not available” showed up on my phone. So, I was a little confused, I didn’t know what this meant so a few minutes later it said the same thing so then I got worried. I did what I always do when something is wrong with my phone, I hopped online to pull up my account just to make sure that everything was on point. But when I went to put in my number and password it said that my number was no longer in service. So what did I do?? I called the good people at Boost Mobile. And of course they gave me the run around and finally they told me the problem. Someone had tapped into my password, put my number on a different sim card and then put a brand new number to my sim… huh?? How could this be?? No one knows. So after speaking with the manager who knew absolutely nothing, I called back again and spoke with some nice little foreign lady. I didn’t understand any of what she said so [not so] politely asked her if I could speak with someone else. So then she transfered my to some siddity cheerleader lady who was dumb enough to tell me that all that i could do was call the police because she couldn’t give me any information on my phone unless I filed a police report. So now I’m trippin, what is the police going to do for me when all someone did was change some info on my phone?? Nobody stole my identity or did anything with my social security number so lady, I dont think you know what you are talking about. She gives me some number to call and tells me that this sort of thing happens all the time. So I said okay and about a half hour later I called Law Enforcement. This lady officer who answered the phone literally laughed in my face. She laughed at me yall and she didn’t try to hide. She asked me what idiot told me to call them and why. So after I felt like a dumby for even attempted to call them I called Boost back and I had an attitude to last me for a whole year. I promise you, I stayed on hold for about an hour and a half so that they could figure out what was going on and what I could do. After getting the run-around all morning long a nice lady named Brandy hopped on the phone and said that she was going to try to help me. She asked me for all my info and I couldn’t tell her anything because whoever got into my account changed the address, passcode, phone number, and all the security questions. And they changed the name to Jokers Jinx… how effin funny right!! No. So she finally told me that she could put the number back in my name, change all the info back and put all the money back into my account if I bought a new sim card within 24 hours. So, I was frustrated after that but I was thankful that someone somewhere could help me do something that even the manager could not do…so kudos go out to her for helping me.

So, after all that I finally went to lunch an hour late and got some great food with Teia. I ended up being in another office for the rest of the day because some victims were still waiting for their cases to be heard and at 4:45 I was out the door. By the time I got home I was really ready to chill out but I still had to go and get me a new sim card. I called my aunt and told her to take me to Logan Village on the way down to revival. She said yes so I ran into the store and was on my way out 3 minutes later. We hopped in the van and out of nowhere my aunt says “Yall, there goes Larry Tate” “What?? What are you talking about” “Yall, he is walkin up the street…look!” “Oh Jesus, it’s him in the flesh!!” He came over and gave us all some love and that was the one thing that made my day so much better. I saw my cousin walking around in Logan Village after being in intensive care for three weeks. The last time I talked to anyone it was a week ago and they told me that he was in the same condition and was not making improvement and here he was walking around the shoppin center healthy as all get-out. Now, that right there erased every problem that had occured with my stupid stupid phone.

We got to the church and there was no one there so we stepped outside so that I could let them know that I had gotten my new sim card and like they promised, everything was back to normal. I was excited because I now had a phone. YaY!!! I ended up having to switch all my numbers to my new phone which took me forever but I will not complain. Service was good, I laughed with my sweethearts and I got in the bed about 5 hours past my bed time so I was extremely tired this morning. But, we are having a pizza party at work, and we’re going to revival again tonight, and i might even take a trip to the pool hall. I’m getting up bright and early tomorrow morning to go to MVA [because when I went last weekend they were closed] and I hope and pray that I will see my bestie this weekend cause I miss her o so much.

It’s friday, it has been a good week despite my head cold that lasted too long. And I am so excited that I may be going to 7:30 service on sunday morning and sunday school… The weekend is here.. lets make it count…

I love my big cuzzo Larry and my lil sis Drea…

ok, im complaining… AGAIN!!

I AM SO EFFIN FRUSTRATED!!

I KNOW THAT I CANT DO EVERYTHING AT ONE TIME BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT IF SOMEONE JUST TRIED TO HELP ME I COULD DO THIS. IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE IS JUST LOOKING AT ME AND NOT DOING ANYTHING TO HELP ME OUT.

I’M STRESSING MYSELF OUT BECAUSE THERE’S SO MUCH THAT I WANT TO DO BUT I KNOW THAT I HAVE TO WAIT AND PATIENCE IS NOT MY THING. I’M TRYING, GOD KNOWS I AM BUT IM REALLY GETTING TICKED OFF BECAUSE I WANT SO BADLY FOR THIS MONEY TO FAL INTO MY LAP.

IN THE MIDST OF ALL OF MY HYSTERIA, I DO HAVE A FEW THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO. I CANT REALLY DISCLOSE ANY INFO BECAUSE I DONT KNOW FOR SURE IF THESE THINGS ARE GOING TO WORK OUT. BUT JUST KEEP PRAYING THAT EVERYTHING WORKS IN MY FAVOR. HOPEFULLY BY THE END OF THIS MONTH, ALL OF MY MONEY ISSUES WILL BE STRAIGHTENED OUT AND I’LL BE ABLE TO MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE.

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO BESIDES JUST STAY IN CONSTANT PRAYER CAUSE GOD ONLY KNOWS HOW CRAZY THIS SITUATION IS MAKING ME. I KNOW THAT I WILL GET THRU THIS (on my own) AND I WILL THEN HAVE SO MANY OTHER THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

Here one day, gone the next

I really just dont understand… I just saw this chick like two days ago. She was fine. Nothing was wrong with her. She was happy-go-lucky like she always is. And then we get that phone call saying that we’ll never see her again. It’s still like ‘Damn’ what happened?? Just the other day everything was cool. I just now spent the whole weekend with her and no one ever even stopped to think that come Monday morning she’d be gone from our lives. I just cant come to grips with the fact that we’ll never see her again. She wont be around anymore when we have those huge cookouts. And she wont be there when the computer needs to be put together. She wont be around to ask to see my glasses that I so graciously wear in the house. I’m really gonna miss this chick. Im still not understanding. How can someone be perfectly fine one day and then gone the next?? Humph… I guess this just goes to show how short life really is. Cherish the people in your life no matter if they mean the world to you or not… cherish them cause you never ever know when you’ll have to say goodbye.

R.I.P Tawana… you will forever be missed

your memory will forever linger on

I can see you now… just dancing in heaven

watch over all of us… especially Sherri… I know you loved her

Tae’

i need to get this out…

Everyone knows that I hate drama. I cant stand it, dont want to be around, dont want to hear about it at all. But for some reason I have found myself right in the middle of it and I dont know how to get myself out without reverting to old ways. Point is, I need some help.

There’s a chick. We been cool for a good while now. Are we friends?? No, I wouldn’t say so… but we were really cool at one point in time. I would have to say that my problem with her began one day when she really just turned me off. She did something and it caused me to see a side of her that I really didn’t like. Did that change my perception of her?? No. We were still cool, I just know now what to expect in certain situations.

Sooner rather than later I started to see other things that I just didnt like about her. I no longer wanted to be around her as much or talk to her unless I had to. But, I still had respect for her. Then one day I got fed-up. I told someone how I felt about her. I asked them if I was wrong and if it was just me and they told me no. Then I decided that I needed to talk to her about how I felt and let it ride. In between my realizing my feelings toward her and actually talking to her a lot of stuff went down. I got caught up in a discussion about her and didn’t think twice about the people in the room. Somebody there went back and told her everything that was said about her including the fact that a rumor [that i didnt make up] was spread.

Was I upset that she found out what had been said?? No, if anything it bothered me because she found in a way I didnt want her to. I wanted to sit down and let her know on my own in a very respectful way but that didnt happen. Now, of course, she has an attitude which is understandable but I feel as tho this talking is going no where. I try to say things in a nice way but it seems as tho no matter how nice I am she comes back at me with attitude. Attidude is one thing that i do not know how to deal with. So when homegirl is sitting here trying to pop up real big.. I wanna smack her back down to miniature and cuss her out fa’real but I aint trying to go there this time around. I’m trying to be somebody better than that and although it would work wonders and get her to fall back, I would not feel too good about myself in the end. I want to walk away knowing that I still have my dignity and at least a little bit of respect. I dont know what can be done, I could apologize [which I really do not want to do] I can continue to go on with my life and let her believe what she wants about it all but I really dont want to let it end ugly because it all comes down to the big M word… Ministry.

I’m going to apologize but is that really all that I can do in this situation??

Frustrated beyond belief

Last night, when I wwas supposed to be in the bed catching up on some much needed sleep, I was up chatting with someone that I haven’t spoken to in a very long time. Back in the day she was like a lil cousin to me and we was bout thick as thieves. She stayed over my house too many times and me and my sister would try to make sure she was doing the right thing. Eventually she moved and since then I have seen her at most about 4 times in the past 2 1/2 years. Everytime I see her I get this happysad type feeling. She was no longer surrounded by people who wanted to see the best for her. She had moved away from her support system and I blamed her mother and I still do. I just wish that there was more that I could’ve done while she was around. Around 1am this morning she sent me a message letting me know so matter of factly that she now has a baby girl who is one month old. This little girl is 15. Her baby father is 20. I want to know whats wrong?? I think part of me knew that this would happen but I never thought so soon. All three of her older sisters had babies out of wedlock. Two of them were still in high school. Her mother had a baby almost 3 years ago out of wedlock. I want to know what is wrong?? Is this what we must deal with?? Our babies are following in the footsteps of those who have set a negative example and now they are having babies that they’re not even old enough to puch out. I’m frustrated… hurt.. and disappointed. I feel compelled to do something but what can I do?? How can I save a dying generation. The homicide rate is sky high and we look around and dont even see that we pulling the trigger on ourselves. When is enough going to be enough?? When are we going to do something to save our kids?? Help.

Do Something About Darfur

Posted in change the world, freedom, Genocide in Darfur, pain, war, when everything goes wrong by Tanae' A. on April 19, 2007

By Evelyn Leopold

Thu Apr 19, 5:13 AM ET

Children in Sudan are press-ganged, coerced to join armed groups, raped and used as forced labor or sex slaves, according to a new report by humanitarian groups.

The report, Sudan’s Children at a Crossroads, concentrates mainly on Darfur, where a conflict has been raging for four years, and southern Sudan, emerging from 20 years of war.

“Children in Sudan continue to endure some of the most inhumane treatment found anywhere in the world,” said Kathleen Hunt, chair of the Watchlist on Children and Armed Conflict, on Wednesday.

“Despite the end of the war in the south and recent signs of hope for a strengthened peacekeeping force in Darfur, many Sudanese children are not faring any better than they were four years ago,” Hunt told a news conference on the report, compiled by six humanitarian organizations.

While Sudan’s military continues to deny the presence of children in its ranks, the report said its representatives have acknowledged that youth from other armed groups have recently been incorporated into the government armed forces.

In Darfur, most rebel and militia groups recruit children, including the pro-government Arab militias known as the Janjaweed, the rebel Justice and Equality Movement and the Sudan Liberation Army.

While reports of rape and maiming are prevalent in Darfur, Sudanese girls from other areas have been forced into prostitution or into domestic service in and out of Sudan.

Boys as young as 4 or 5 years old “have been trafficked to Arab Gulf countries to work as camel jockeys and beggars,” Watchlist said.

Education is also a horror in many parts of the country, with the south having the lowest rate in the world of only 25 percent of young people in school.

An entire generation in southern Sudan has missed out on education, said Jeannie Pearlman Robinson of the Women’s Commission for Refugee Women and Children. She cited examples of children walking for two hours to school and untrained teachers working for low or no pay.

“Education cannot wait until the fighting is over,” she said.

Francis Mading Deng, a former Sudanese foreign minister, U.N. envoy for displaced people, author and now a professor at Johns Hopkins University, said that children and civilians could only be spared through a political solution.

“The need for a political solution is the only way we can find peace,” he said.

The six groups on the Watchlist steering committee are Care International, the Coalition to Stop the Use of Child Soldiers, the Norwegian Refugee Council, International Save the Children Alliance, Women’s Commission for Refugee Women and Children, and World Vision Canada.

My thoughts

Posted in V.Tech: Today we are all Hokies, when everything goes wrong by Tanae' A. on April 18, 2007

I’m sad, hurt, confused, scared, angry, upset and even sympathetic.. all because of this tragedy that no one can overlook. How can something like this happen?? Why would something like this happen?? What was going through this dude’s head and why didn’t somebody do something if they knew the condition his mind was in?? It makes me grateful… I’m somewhat relieved because I didnt know anyone at V. Tech but those people that lost their lives are leaving behind family and friends and classmates. A man who survived holocaust couldn’t survive a kid and his messed up mind. It hurts my heart to see this type of thing happening in this place we call home. My prayers go out to everyone affected by this tragedy…. we’re fighting a war right here in America.