a lil bit of this and that

why are there some people in this world that chose to never grow up?? i’m really having a difficult time understanding why this one person just wants to be so immature. what really does she get by acting like a five year old child, can we please move on to something better… ITS CALLED MATURITY!! i laugh at people like her because she is a prime example of what i dont want to be like when i grow up…i mean, my thirteen year old sister is more mature than she is and she is well into her 30’s. come on boo-boo, aint nothing in america that serious.

how bout i am so excited for the rest of the week to just come on and get here because i think i will enjoy my weekend for the most part. tomorrow right after work i have to go to my new part time job [congratulate me please] to fill out some paper work. i’m kinda excited because i desperately need to save money and pay bills at the same time. i am sooo super excited about friday night because i get to take my lil sister chelley to this pcif back to school night. i wasn’t going to go but i figured it would be something that she would enjoy so i’m trying to round up her and the kiddies to go ahead and have a good time.

the rest of my weekend will be spent in relaxation unless i get drafted to go somewhere or do something on saturday. i am going to church on sunday…[for all you 7:30 service people, i do go to church i just be sleep during early service and sunday school… maybe if you all went to 10:45 service you would see me there!!! LoL!!] i promise you, i have gotten at least 6 phone calls this week telling me that i better show up in early morning service on sunday. i do miss sunday school a tad bit so i might make an effort to actually wake up early just to go to service and get some breakfast… it’s just that everytime i go to early service i am tempted to leave and go to city for their 11:00 service. but i vow to try my hardest to get up in time to actually go to early service… will i make it?? who knows.

And also, let it be known for the record that I AM NOT A RELATIONSHIP COUNSELOR!! so someone please tell me why everyone seems to be coming to me this week for advice about their relationships. I’M SINGLE!!  maybe that should tell you something… hahaha!! but its beginning to make me think that i am trying out for the wrong profession… maybe i should be a relationship counselor since i seem to be the only one that can solve these people’s problems…

What a Weekend

It took me a while to figure out if I really wanted to blog about the weekend that I just experienced. There was a lot of things that transpired that I’m still trying to come to grips with but I decided that maybe this will help me to kinda figure this whole thing out.

I must say for starters that this was a good weekend. I enjoyed myself and although there was a lot that could have caused these past few days to be terrible, I decided to ignore the distractions and deal with all the issues later.

As you all know, this weekend was the PCIF Conference that I was very skeptical about going to on Thursday. Of course, I went. Well, what happened at this conference? Glad you care enough to ask. On friday night, I went to a lovely banquet and enjoyed fellowship and conversation with my peers. After that, all the youth from all the churches got together for Midnight Madness which was totally fun. Around 2:15 we left and hung for a while and by 4:30 I was knocked out.

Saturday morning we slept in and got up around 9 to go to the youth session. At 11:30 we all got together for worship service that was way better than I ever expected it to be. And then we hung out around the pool. Played pingpong and even got a 15 min nap in. Worship service started at 7 and then it was on the road back home.

Sunday services were cool. We had to dance and by the time 3:00 came I was too sleepy to stand up straight. Well, whats the problem?? It seems like it was a fairly good weekend. I got a lot out of it. I found out a lot about myself and a lot about the people around me. I met some new people from different churches and was even able to sit and really fellowship with the youth from my church that I dont really have time to associate with. Here’s my problem…

When people that are only worried about themselves are placed in leadership positions, it causes confusion and headaches. When the people that have a heart of gold and will put other people before them are kicked to the back burner, things need to be changed. When people who will do whatever it takes to make sure that they get there’s are calling themselves leaders and are so caught up in the title, there will only be chaos and I saw the worst of it this weekend.

I have a heart for youth ministry. I think a lot of people know that by now. I try to keep communication going between myself and those younger than me and I try to give them some kind of direction. My main reason for doing this is the simple fact that I see such a big gap between the youth and members of the youth council. One day I hope to be apart of the youth council and I want to be one to bridge that growing gap.

The only reason why I am staying where I am staying is because I see a faithful few grit their teeth after getting the short end of the stick. They sacrifice and remain humble after being kicked to the curb. They work behind the scenes because they dont need to have their name in lights. They hold in their tears and do what they have to do respectfully. While others who need the validation of a title just sit around and do nothing for ministry as a whole. When you use a title for your own gain… Some thing is wrong.

I think it should be stated for the record that I do not have a problem with people in authority, I have a problem with people who abuse their authority. I get frustrated because I cant do anything about it. I cant down someone that is supposed to be a leader and I’m not even the type to down someone when I know I cant be in the position tha they are in. I think I know things that I probably shouldn’t know and that doesn’t do anything but add tomy frustrations.

I made up in my mind yesterday that after everything is said and done I’m distancing myself from everyone and everything. Is this the best thing to do?? Probably not, but I think that right now it’s the most respectful thing that I can do. And so the benefit everyone around me, I’ll just take a seat in Sunday morning worship and keep to myself. Not because of anything that anybody has done, but because I know how I can be. I can say some things that will do nothing but cause damage. I where my emotion on my face and I can come off as being very rude at times and the last thing I want to do is be named something that I’m not trying to be.

This weekend I learned that in due time, those that are only in it for themselves will get whats coming to them. They will be eventually forced to do one of two things… clean up their act and/or step down from their position. Will it happen in the near future?? Probably not. But I’m praying that it happens before things really crumble.

I dont know how I really should feel about this weekend. I dont know if this is the best decision yet. But I do know that I’m doing everything in my power to not get caught up in the confusion and chaos of it all. God will have his way, not only in youth ministry but in Shiloh as a whole and I’m praying that He does something wonderful beyond anything we could imagine. I think I’ll stick it out for the long haul. But in order to become the ministry that God wants us to become some people need to straighten up or roll out.

Thats just my opinion.


the weekend ahead of me…

Posted in P.C.I.F by Tanae' A. on June 27, 2007

This weekend is going to be a tad bit interesting… Am I looking forward to it?? Uuummm I dont know yet. This weekend is the annual Praise Covenant Interdenominational Fellowship Conference. I have my bags packed and I am ready to go but part of me wants to stay home and chill. I think there’s a reason why I ended up going without my sister and best friend. And perhaps there’s another reason why I just happened to be rooming by myself but I have not figured that out yet and perhaps I dont want to know the reasoning behind this awkwardness.

First, I must tell the events that led to me rooming by myself with a chaperone. My sister decided not to go: First weird thing. Jaz had something come up so she cant go: second weird thing. Mo’s mother decided to go last minute and insisted that she room with her instead of with me: third and forth weird thing. I am stuck in a room BY MYSELF WITH A CHAPERONE: 55th terrible thing.

Okay… uumm. I have a problem. I really am not looking forward to this. At one point in time, I was super excited… now I am just bummed. I am, of course, still a little bit hopeful that this weekend will go good and at least I am away from my family for a few days. But gosh golly junebug… must I really endure these conditions. I dont understand.

First good thing: With all the events that are going on I will only be in my room to change clothes, shower, and sleep. 11oth bad thing: We are going swimming on saturday, I thought we were going on friday night. Now I have to in some way… do my hair on Saturday night so that it wont be a good mess in church on sunday… But I had thought that maybe I could do my hair early saturday evening but now I’m gonna be up all night trying to look half decent for morning worship.

210th weird thing: Someone, I dont know who, decided that it would be a good idea to have a midnight madness on friday from 12-2 and then ask us to be in morning worship at 8AM!! Did they not think about this first or were they just tripin?? This thing will be over at 2… there’s no way that I am going to be in bed before 3 and then I will have to wake up at 6:30 on saturday morning to shower, get dressed, and make sure my hair is in tiptop condition by 8. Oh, and I have to give myself at least 15 minutes to eat cause God knows I cannot pray on an empty stomach ( thats against my religion) LoL!! Count it all up… that is 3 1/2 hours of sleep. OK.. can I slap WHOEVER put this itinerary together?? They need JESUS!!

Well, now that all of my complaining os out of the way… I must say that with everything going wrong, I do know that I will enjoy myself this weekend…even if I have to go back to my LONELY room to clear my head for a few minutes. I have a flyy dress for this banquet that I am NOT excited about. I am getting into a pool that will mess my hair up DRASTICALLY and remind me yet again THAT I CANT SWIM A LICK. And I am going to be surrounded but tons of people who will let it be known that I tend to get people sick a lot of times… but I will embrace them all and enjoy this weekend to the best of my abilities and I will do it with a HUGE smile on my face and even a lil pep in my step… and I will be sure to kick off my shoes at this banquet cause my feet are going to hurt a tad bit too much and right now I am in no mood to be dealing with standing up in 3 inch heels…

But before I can go through all of the above… I must complete this horrific work week and thank GOD that I managed to get out a half day on Friday. I’m half way there yall!!!