uurrgghh…the pressure

Posted in car, decisions, issues, life, money, school, Tae', work, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on May 8, 2008
ok…i’m Tanae’. plain and simple. ii do what ii want, when ii want and if ii dont want to do something then ii wont do it. so why in the world are there people that continue to force me to do shit that ii dont want to do…YES II AM TALKING ABOUT SCHOOL. okay, okay…this is the point where you sigh and hang your head. ii know what the plan was, ii created it. ii know what the goal was, ii made it up. ii know what everyone was expecting….but oh.well. this is whats happening. first of all…gas is exactly three dollars and fifty seven cents as of 7:45 this morning. therefore driving to work everyday would force me to put gas in my tank at least three times a week. now lets average this out and weigh the options. as far as im concerned, a half tank in Bobby is like E so ii never let it get past that middle mark. if im exactly on a half tank it takes twenty to get me filled up. right now, i fill up ONCE A WEEK and that gets me every where ii need to go after work hours. ii also pay for a weekly bus pass which runs me 16.50…we can round that to twenty if you would like. so thats forty dollars of transportation in one week if i take the bus to work everyday. now, with the whole gas thing in mind, if ii fill up three times a week thats already sixty dollars in one week…plus parking. everyone knows that parking is not cheap in the city. so now, take that sixty and add a good ten to twenty dollars to it depending on where ii park at and that is 70 to 80 bucks out of my pocket every week…JUST TO DRIVE TO WORK!! i’ll take MTA. now, what does this have to do with school at all?? the original plan was to go to Sojourner Douglass College, of course that plan was put into motion before ii got my car and the plan was to drive. well, at that time ii wasn’t thinking of the financial aspect of it. anyways, if ii were to go to SDC which is two seconds from my job ii would have to drive to work everyday. so, ii started thinking a lil more reasonably. if ii go back to CCBC ii would only have to drive right up the street from my house to go to class…so after ii get off the bus ii can walk to my house, eat then get in my car and drive three minutes up the street. ok, so whats the problem. really there is none. ii want to go to CCBC and thats where ill go in the fall and everyone is okay with that except for the well-educated older cousin. sorry honey, im doing things my way. ii actually owe CCBC a couple [[hundred]] dollars but that should be in the clear by the time registration gets here. that just means that ii have to start saving up some money so that ii can have enough money to cover books if ii dont get the financial aid that ii am desperately praying for. ii just dont like feeling pressured to do something that ii dont want to do. ii want to go to CCBC and ii am well aware of the fact that it is not a four year college but its a start and if im going back then ii might as well start somewhere that im comfortable. it may not be what you prefer but im going the way ii want to go because thats the road im going to stay on. if ii try to do everyone elses way ii wont finish like ii should so everyone who dont like it can fall back…oh.boo.you this is MY life.

shawty pimpin with 2 fish && 5 loaves of bread

Breaking News::

JHW II has a girlfriend!! Yes people, it is official there is no more ‘us’ so as of today Tanae’ is thru with that story and now a new book begins. Wish him and the new beau well. She must be some kinda special if he is into making public announcements and what not. Welp, sucks for me right?? ok. now back to our regularly scheduled program.

Today is the day people… it’s pimpin, pimpin!! Yessir, you guessed it correct…ii am going to see my future baby daddy and ii cannot wait. and for all of you that are interested in the rest of my weekend….it goes as follows::
Right after ii leave the office ii will be going to the shop to check on my baby [[car]] and pick up some paper work so that ii can get my insurance tomorrow. after that ii will be meeting the besties at the crib to change clothes and head out for the night. tomorrow, there is a bunch of stuff on my list of things to do but most of it includes spending money for car stuff and uummm, thats about it lol. Of course, going to the bestie’s house Friday night…DuH. EARLY EARLY EARLY EARLY EARLY EARLY EARLY EARLY EARLY EARLY EARLY saturday morning ii will be getting up to go on a rinky dink fishing trip with the youth. ii emphasize early because we have to be there at 6:30 and last time ii checked 6:30 dont have an a.m. so not only do ii have to go fishing which is so not normal in my world…but ii also have to wake up before the damn birds and get to the church. so not excited about that. maybe ii would be a lil enthused if they was frying the fish that ii caught…now that is spoken by a true black person lolzz. THEN ii have to turn around EARLY sunday morning to dance to this ol stupid dance that will have me out of breathe by the time we get down the daggone aisle. good thing there is no evening service…i meant to thank the Bishop personally for putting a stop to that lolzz… monday, its back to the drawing board. back here at work and back here on the blog. you might hear from me before monday morning but ii doubt it very seriously.
and please please pray for my brother/cousin…he is in another state making a fool of himself…Jesus please give that boy a brain asap. ii gosta go yall…muh baby daddy is calling me lmao

“let it burn, let it burn, gotta let it burn”

Posted in blessings, car, celebrations, complaining, money, phunni moments, thoughts, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on April 11, 2008
ok, why is it that NO ONE told me that there is so much that needs to be done BEFORE i sit behind the wheel of my new vehicle. who in their right mind decided that people had to PAY to get a car inspected…are you serious?? ok and why in God’s name does some plates cost so much daggone money?? for all that, ii can make my own daggone plate and put em on the darn car. and the insurance…oh dear heavenly Father, the insurance. ok, i understand i am high risk, i know that im a first time driver, i know that im gonna want full coverage if anything ever happens to my precious lil car….but is it really worth ALL that money?? and why must i put down such an expensive down payment?? uuummm hello, im a lil on the broke side?? i just dont understand. then ii looked at the news recently and saw the gas prices….oh Jesus, you can come and take the car back for all that. me and MTA do just fine together. point is, this whole car situation is burning a major hole thru both my pockets and my damn wallet and its not really too fun. ii guess in the end it’ll be well worth it but all ii want is to get behind the wheel of MY car and DRIVE!! is that really too much to ask?? it shouldnt cost me my entire life savings to just drive a vehicle. but, ii am forever grateful to God above for opening double doors for this lil ol chick, ii prob wont be behind the wheel next week but looks like moreso the end of this month and ii can shout about that right now…hey hey hey!! sike, but seriously, despite the burn marks that have been left on my pants and the stench of no money in my pockets…all is well with me and my pockets can continue to burn if it means ill be driving MY OWN CAR in a few weeks. now, alls we gotta do is pick a name for my baby and we will be set. haha. keep praying guys.

a long post

this weekend was expected to be a fairly good one. happy to say, ii wasnt disappointed at all. friday ii ended up being home which was okay with me because ii needed the peace and quiet. ii thought ii would be able to sleep in on saturday but people in america think that seven thirty is a good time to txt me. by the time ten o clock hit breakfast was ready and ii was so thankful to mommy for being such a good chef lolzz. ii got a shower and prepared for my day out. [[notice ii said out and not in]] anyways, it was raining by the time my bae came over so we decided to chill out until it stopped. what do you know…it stops around four o clock so we get ourselves together to go to the movies. next thing we know the wind picks up top speed and we are stuck in the house again. so needless to say, we miss the movie and we are sitting here trying to figure out what we are going to do. then ii get a txt message saying that ii better find something to wear for church because ii had to sing. so me corey and shay decide to go to dots to find something to wear. we come back and decide to just stay in, play spades and order pizza. meek came over and we sat around until around ten thirty having a ball. meek and corey left and ii headed straight to the bed. ii didnt want to wake up sunday morning but ii knew that we had to. of course we are always late because we just wouldnt be us if we were on time lolzz. anyways, shany was to lead the first song of the day and ii was floored when she did a cross over strut around the front of the church. this girl did a dip, a few spins and ii was waiting patiently for her to rock a shoobalou but ii was disappointed lolzz. after church ii drove home and treated mommy to dinner [[understand the two verbs in that sentence… ii DROVE and ii TREATED…now you know it was a good day lol]] ii went home, took a nap and then chilled with in and the baby for a long long time lolzz. ii eventually went to sleep and woke up this morning ready for work.

ii also talked to one of my favorite people this weekend and ii was happy about that. ever since ii can remember my uncle gerald has been down for me and shay. of course, we are his favorite nieces and ii owe part of that to mommy who is his favorite sister. yeah, its good to be associated lolzz. but seriously tho, this dude has been there since day one and he is like the only male role model in my life as far as family is concerned. but, he holds a special place in my heart and ii dont really talk to him as often as ii would like to but when ii can talk to him its like a breath of fresh air. ii plan to go to go visit him in boston very soon but until ii know that he is only a phone call away. this is my heart right here…


ok, and someone please explain to me why some Tyler Perry tickets is damn near fifty bucks. ii dont understand that at all. ii was trying to be nice and so ii told my mommy that ii would treat her to go see the Marriage Counselor but when ii looked today at the prices the numbers almost blew me away. $45.50…are they serious?? ii wish ii didnt have to pay for her to go but ii already said ii would and im a lil pissed about it especially since ii just bought them Katt Williams’ tickets. but ii aint tripin over it, ii gots the money so might as well stop complaining lol.
and ii have a slight problem…nothing huge, i said slight.  ready?? okay… WHAT THE HECK AM I GOING TO DO FOR MY TWENTY FIRST BIRTHDAY?? ii already know that im going to spend a weekend with my uncle for a weekend around that time but other than that ii want to go out somewhere. ii dont want a party or nothing like that but ii do want to have fun and enjoy myself. most likely there will be a dinner for my fam and close friends so ii can celebrate with them but i dunno about the rest of the stuff. im trying to get up out of bmore so if anyone has any ideas that you wanna toss around, let me know. this is crucial and we must start planning now so that ii can start saving up.
and…i am thanking God for my mommy’s friends because one of her peoples just opened up a shop and he is going to hook a sister up with a car in a few weeks and it already passed inspection so ii am so excited about that. everything is working itself out and now all ii have to do is pass my driving  test in two weeks and im good to go. please please please be in prayer for me. and pray that my sis gets approved for her townhouse tomorrow. im ready to make the big move~DOWNSTAIRS lmao!! haha!!

happy monday to yah!!

P.S. ii lovezz my church!!!

the way things are…

Posted in change, decisions, family, money, moving on, Shink by Tanae' A. on February 20, 2008
Let me get this out the way first::
I was reading my posts from yesterday and I realized that there are like fifteen people with all the same names so I need distinguish that millions lol
Kev*Out~ K.James
Kevin~ K.Powe
Ashley J~ Ashley from Syc
LeyLey or Ashley~ A. Stokes
Anthony~ lil drummer boy
AJB~ Anthony Brown
Jessa~ J.Howell
Jess~ J.Powe
Shink~ Shay P.
Shay~ Nashe B.
Yesterday I was thinking about a lot of things and started making plans to actually take a huge step towards I dont know what. I think that t he past week has been so frustrating to me because I feel as tho there are people who dont take time to appreciate now acknowledge the fact that I do more than required. The people that are standing in this circle would look at what is going on and think nothing of it. It doesn’t matter to them and therefore no one is really standing up in my defense or understanding why I’m so effin pissed about it all. At first I thought I was over reacting but every single person that I mentioned it to outside of my family circle has been blown away. Do I think that I am giving or doing too much?? Not at all but I dont want to feel like Im obligated to do anything. There are, however, too many people telling me that I am giving out too much and its not really worth it. Now, I’m stuck right here trying to figure out what decision is best. And of course, I am thinking about everyone’s feelings besides my own. I promised my ShinkButt that I wouldn’t do anything without her. Now, I’m trying to make that move based on my own selfishness and I know that she would be pissed and I would feel so bad. I dont know. I dont think I really have a choice tho, either I keep things how they are and deal with it or I demand a change and deal with the consequences and accept the responsibility.

oh, i can do that too

Posted in fed-up, frustrations, issues, mommy, money by Tanae' A. on October 25, 2007

A lot of times I have the world’s most patience when it comes to issues within my household. I may get frustrated or whatever else but I’ll simply go to my room and blow off the steam before getting angry about anything. I usually try to see things from other peoples point of view but not anymore. I am frustrated and fed-up with trying to understand this crap when there is nothing to understand. Point is, I am sick of my mother. Now, this is a lady that I love more than life and I appreciate her and everything that she does but right now I am really not feeling her. I always said that if I could, I would take care of my mother for as long as she took care of me. When I get stable enough I wanna pay off my mother’s house, I wanna be the one to take her to a car dealership and tell her to pick out the truck that she want and then pay the bill on it myself, I wanna be the one that takes her to the grocery market on saturday mornings just to make sure she dont ever want for nothing… but right now I cant really do that. I dont ask my mother for much, well at least I try not to. I dont ask my mother for money and if I do it is because I really need it and I always make sure I pay her back with interest. The only thing that I ever really need from her is a ride somewhere that the bus wont take me. But God knows, I try not to ask her for too much. Especially when it comes to material things, I work everyday so that I can buy what I want to buy and if I cant afford it I’ll save up for it. I make sure that every pay I give my mother a good chunk out of my check plus I give her gas money on top of that. Just last week I called her to ask her if she wanted me to pay off one of her bills because I had a lil extra money and I knew things were a lil tight but she told me no. WHAT ELSE CAN I POSSIBLY DO TO SHOW YOU THAT I APPRECIATE YOU?? What do you want me to write in the sky?? I do my share around the house, I say thank you as much as I can, I follow directions fairly well. Two weeks ago I spent an entire 3 days rearranging furniture in my bedroom, buying new furniture, getting rid of some stuff and doing things so that I have more space to organize things. I didn’t do it for her, I did it for me. I was tired of being cramped in my lil hole in the wall and I was tired of hearing her fuss about my room being dirty. Now, I am still in the process of getting some things done in there but I have to wait til some extra money comes in but I never knew that making up a bed every morning shows how much I appreciate you. I really feel like my mom is like a walking time bomb. Anyday now she’ll snap and throw us all out so I wanna make sure I’m well prepared when that happens. So, I am really in my fed-up mode. She wants to be done with us so I’ll be done with her. I can keep my 400 a month and put it in the bank so that I can get a car faster. I can not put gas in your car since you refuse to take me anywhere I need to go. As a matter of fact, let me take the money that I was giving you and give it to the people that I have to beg and bride to take me to where I need to go because you know everything comes with a price. I’ll continue to do what I have to do in the house, I’ll continue to clean and take care of my responsibilities but everything else is cut. So when you dont have no extra cash in ya pocket cause you gotta pay 4 bills, please do not rely on my lil bit of money cause…HA HA!! YOU WONT BE GETTING IT!! Just like I cant rely on you for a ride when I have NO OTHER WAY you cant rely on me when you stuck between a rock in hard place. Because reality is, I never ever have to question whether or not you appreciate what I give you because I know that you do appreciate it when you say thankyou. And even if you dont appreciate it, it would never matter because I would rather be unappreciated than to see you want for anything and I would expect the same thing but I guess thats where we differ. Thank you aint enough for you, giving back my last just so that you can have some gas is not enough for you, trying my hardest to squeeze out an extra 50-100 after I have paid bills and bus passes and tithes and everything else… thats not good enough. Good enough to you is having a house that is super clean, good enough for you is making sure that my bed has not one wrinkle in it, good enough for you is making sure that there is not one fork in the sink when you wake up because you want it to be perfect. Well guess what mama, i am not perfect and I hate cleaning and I dont mind there being a bobby pin or a rubber band on the floor every once in a while so what are you going to do about it?? I think your actions have answered that question. Continue to act the way you do and I’ll continue to act just like you because after all, you are my example. You wanna hold back and not do anything for me… well guess what, I can do that too!

Maybe I am just mad right now so there is a great possibility that I am sayin all this out of frustrations but right now thats how I feel. And I still love my mommy just the same because of who she is and not what she does for me but right now I am just fed-up with her selfishness at this point and it has really gone a bit too far. 

if I had things my way

So, a lot of times I seem to get lost in my own thoughts. Well today I was just thinking, if I had everything in my life the way I wanted it to be how would it go?? Well, this is what I came up with.


For starters, I would not change anything that happened before Dec 2005. And really I wouldn’t change to much that happened after Dec. 2005 either, so here’s what I would change. I would change the fact that I ever became friends with, dated, or fell in love with James. Thats it. How lovely. Now let me explain before someone gets the wrong idea. If I had my way, I would take all of those happenings out of Dec 2005 and graciously move them to Dec. 2009. And you all are wondering why… the reason is quite simple really, in 2009 there will be no school. He would be completely through with school. So it would save me a lot of heartache and headache and I would be actually happy with him. And simply because James would not be in the picture I would have the opportunity to take things a lil further with this other dude without feeling completely bad about it. But since I cant change the past… this is what I would have happen in the future.


I think, well I know, that the first three things that I would have happen if I had my way is… 1. I would get a big fat check somewhere in the mail and I would use that to pay off the one bill that I have left, register for college and purchase the car that I have to wait until february to get. 2. I would have all of my poems somewhat close to being published and 3. I would give the youth ministry cpr and miraculously bring it back to life so that I can deal with all the stresses of keeping it well and kicking.


After that, I would go back to school, get a promotion [maybe that is asking a bit to much but that is what i would have happen], make enough money to make sure that my mother wasn’t struggling, fix up the big house from top to bottom and move out of my mom’s house… all in a year. And in 2009 I would be ready to transfer to a university [because i would have worked just that hard to get a two year program completed in one], I would have ridded my life of all the people that were nothing but distractions [all of whom are of the male sex for some reason, but that is neither here nor there], I would have started from scratch a healthy relationship with my honey, and I would be well on my way to success because by the middle of 2009 I would be expecting my 2nd promotion which includes a darn good raise and some major benefits, and I would be able to take a vacation to wherever I want and not have to worry about money, and I would be able to send my mother on a vacation to anywhere that she wanted to go for however long she wanted to go and there would be nothing she had to worry about except what she’s going to pack.


By the time 2013 hit I would plan to be married with two kids with a good paying job that allows me to spend time with my children and still be able to live comfortably. I want a nice house with a big back yard and front yard. I want two dogs, one for me and one for him. I want a playground in the back. I want one of those couch looking things that swing on my front porch and I want my own private bathroom in my room. I want a family day once a month to talk and eat and laugh and play with my kids and my husband. I want my mom to be happy and financially stable. By then I would have moved my NaNa somewhere, anywhere and I would be taking care of all her expenses. I would be making sure that my lil cousins are in college and doing their best and I will have coffee and bagels every saturday morning with my besties. And a girls night once a month and we’ll stay in and have drinks and lay around with our phones turned off and we’ll talk like we were back in high school, about boys and issues and there would be no thoughts of family or money or men or house cleaning or washing clothes or none of the other grown up stuff that we have to do every other day of our lives. I would go on a vacation once every three months, just me and my honey, and we would enjoy each others company and just have fun like back when we were dating. And last but not least… I would be happy. I would have a family and an education and a job and some damn good friends and I would be happy. I would want to wake up every morning and I would have a smile on my face every night and I would be happy.


If I could plan my life, thats what I would do. All those simple things is what I would expect. And sure, there would be some issues in between but I would be content with the smile that I had shining every single day. I would be blessed beyond abundance and joyful just because I am alive and surrounded by all the people I love the most.


Thats how my life would go if I had things my way…

material things dont matter [this 1 is a lil angry, some1 pissed me off]

Posted in him, men, money, moving on, shopping by Tanae' A. on October 17, 2007

I dont want much out of life. I’m not a hard person to please and I’m def. not greedy when it comes to material things… now when it comes to food, give me all ya got!! LoL!! I appreciate the small things in life. I am fine with the little bit that I have and I dont want for nothing unless its something that I really need or something that I really really want, which is not too much. Maybe this is why I am so baffled by the comment that was made about me by a friend. We were sitting on the phone yesterday and he said that I dont want to be with him because I want too much out of life and he cant give me the material things. I was really wowed by that statement. I am not, nor do I act like, nor do I look like any type of gold digging hoe. As a matter of fact, I aint never asked him for nothing as far as money and materials are concerned. To be really real about it, I was the one that was kickin out some bucks cause as I recall I had to pay for his work boots and I had to put gas in his car and I had to get him something to eat when he sat at my house for hours on end… so who the heck is he to make a comment like that?? Sorry, but I’m pissed. I dont want no broke dude cause I feel like a man should be able to take care of his self but MONEY HAS NEVER BEEN AN ISSUE!! All that I have ever asked of him as that he treat me with some respect, take care of his responsibilities, go to church every once in a while and not do anything to get on my bad side… last time I looked, money was not something that I needed. I have my own and if my money cant buy the things that I need then I obviously dont need it that bad. I dont want your gifts or your jewelry or your new outfit. You can forget about the coach bag and the Dolche and Gabanna shades, I’ll take the knockoff and still look flyy. Keep the lil flowers you bought me… I dont even like the smell of flowers. You what, to solve the whole issue, why dont you just take the boot thats kicking you out the door. I dont know what type of chicks he is used to dealing with but I aint the one. I dont need you to do nothing for me that I cant do for myself and your material things can be thrown away and destroyed so go somewhere with that idea… Maybe you’re better off with a label chick.

awkward emotions

Posted in crying, friends, frustrations, issues, life, lonliness, love, men, money, people I love, relationships, seperation by Tanae' A. on September 26, 2007

I am a very very ridiculously emotional person… such a darn scorpio. One would think that by now I would be used to this emotional rollercoaster that I seem to always find myself on… but that is so not the case. Right now, my problems mostly revolve around men and money. How sucky is that?? But anyways… the money thing is cool its just that everytime I get ready to save some money something comes along that takes the few dollars that I have left over. I’m not really upset about it because I know that the money that I am spending is being put to good use but I secretly wanna be able to do both at the same time, i know thats kinda greedy but oh well.

My men issue is not eventhat serious but I seem to blow things way out of proportion. I am sad about my honey and I dont want to be but I secretly am. I’m not in love with him anymore. I’m not sad because we’re not together, I’m sad because we were supposed to last. I’m lonely because I was so used to him, I dont want to be with him but now I have to learn to live without him and thats something that I dont really want to do. We have to somehow start over from the beginning as friends. We have to learn to not be a couple and try being acquaintences. It’s going to be hard but I know that its something that has to be done. I am glad that I am at this point but I kinda wish that this was not an issue right now. But things seem to be coming along great. We talk more when we are just friends, I guess because we no longer have these failed expectations. In due time, things will work themselves out for the better. But in the meantime… I’m still praying.

And I need a huge box of tissues because I am overly emotional and for some reason I just keep crying… Hopefully this will be over soon.

y do i read my horoscope??

Posted in blessings, community, death, decisions, lost one, money, people I love, prayer, work by Tanae' A. on August 31, 2007

Last week, this is what my horoscope said… Do not over work yourself, everything that you need will come to you without the extra exhaustion.

so what did I do?? I started a part-time job!! Yesterday was my first and last day!!! Let me state for the record… before I even got hired everything in my mind was telling my not to take the job because I wouldn’t be able to do. But, me being me, I just had to go and do something dumb like actually try to work two jobs knowing that it was going to be too much to deal with.

Yesterday had to be the longest most annoying day of my entire life. The store didn’t close until 10… THE CLOSING TIME IS 9:30 but some Rafa’s had to come in there and buy the entire sales rack and then try on every single piece of clothing before they purchased it. The dumb girl that closed the registered couldn’t count money and by the time I got out of the store it was 10:30 and way past my bed time. I was sleepy and irritated because all day long I had been unlocking fitting rooms for people who insisted on trying on the same article of clothing in every style color and size. By the time I actually got to the bus stop it was almost 11 and I was beat. Two buses came a lil after the hour, but neither of them was the 4. So, I waited patiently and then I ended up having to call a cab that costed me 9 dollars that I did not have. I got home a lil after 11:30 and by the time I got myself together and got inthe bed it was 12:30. I was beat, tired, and had a headache that will last me until tomorrow. And by the time I fell asleep I had already made up my mind that I was never going to step foot in that store another day in my life… I dont even like the clothes well enough so the discount would do me no justice.

Right now, I want to go get in a bed and go to sleep but I had to press my way to work this morning and ignore the temptation to just stay home and sleep in. I have to wash clothes when I get home and I dont feel like it and I also have to wake up early in the morning to go to MVA… I dont want to do that either… but it will be alright.

I think that from now on I am going to take the advice of my horoscopes and even if not I am going to listen to the 50 people that told me not to get a part time job. Please just pray that my finances work themselves out which I believe they will… I’m beginning to see the light at the end of this tunnel that I have been in for way too long. Yesterday and today I was able to afford breakfast and lunch… now, that my friends, is a blessing. Cause only God knows how much I hate bring lunch to work and eating before I get here.

Let me thank Jesus publicly for keepin me safe last night while I sat on the corner waiting for the bus that never came… I really appreciate his protection!!



oh and guys, please pray for my big cousin Larry, he had a really bad asthma attack that left him in Intensive Care on a respirator. He’s coming along but he’s still got a long way to go before he gets better. So send up some prayers for him and also pray for the family of the young man that was shot by police officers yesterday morning. I dont know how much of what the Police Department has said is true but I know that his family is grieving. His aunt is a co-worker of mine… Just pray for everyone really… Pray for our communities.