i am a liar ~ yes me, a big ol’ fat LIAR!!!

Posted in lies, love, moving on, people I love, Uncategorized by Tanae' A. on April 23, 2008
in the past two years and some change, I have said that I do not care about James Harrison Wells II about five hundred and thirty seven THOUSAND times. well, I’m a liar!! I say that things dont affect me, I’m over him, his stupid lil girlfriend doesnt bother me, he doesn’t even matter to me anymore…LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE. I figured that maybe if I tell myself that I dont care, eventually I’ll really stop caring. well, that hasnt happened yet. I know, I know, you all are tired of reading about him and honestly im tired of thinking about him but i just cant help it. I cant get this fool out of my system. Bottom line, I love that idiot. and maybe that makes me a fool. Go ahead, shake your head, tell me how stupid I am. I DO NOT CARE!! I LOVE HIM!! Thru all the bullshit, the betrayal, the lies, the cheating, the fights, the bad times…yes, I still love him. And its not even about the good times fareal, I barely even think about that anymore, it was what it was I just cant get him out of my fricking heart. Its like…sickening. really it is. ok, I am no fan of LOVE…HATE IT!!! seriously. you can keep your story book romance, keep your mushy tears and your little fairy tale ending but its like all that doesnt matter when I see his face. I can be pissed, cause God knows that right now I could kill him but everytime I see his face and that stupid lil smile something in my heart melts, I get butterflies and junk all up in my stomach lol. So for everytime that I have ever said that I dont care or that I am walking away, I was lying. I love him way too much to ever walk away from him. But this time…I think im a lil bit serious. Right now, at this very moment, i’m gonna walk away. There’s no telling what will happen tomorrow or next week but for right now, today, im saying goodbye to him. Maybe he will gain some sense in the very near future and pay attention to WHAT THE HELL HE IS DOING but until then im walking away and this is my final goodbye. Go ahead and call my bluff right now if you chose to…yes, Jesus knows im lying. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO WALK AWAY FROM HIM WHEN I LOVE HIM SO MUCH MORE THAN I COULD EVER HATE HIM?? They say hate is love in its very worst form… I would hate him forever if it meant that i have some type of love for him somewhere in my heart. But, i’ll leave this earth with his name engraved on my soul… and THAT is not a lie. Truth is: I’ll NEVER stop loving that dude…EVER

karma is my best friend and your worst enemy

Posted in actions, decisions, events, im so over it, karma, lies, right vs. wrong, thoughts, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on April 7, 2008
ok… never again will ii do this to a person but all ii did was tell someone the truth about what was going on. what happened from there was not my fault. its a domino effect. i pushed the first one over but ii didnt know the rest of them would fall. is that wrong?? no, its called karma and in the end she will get what she deserves. now the truth is being revealed so what else can be said?? there is no covering it up and pushing it aside. the cat is out the bag and now whatever happens is gonna happen and oh well to the one that gets hurt in the process… you hurt three people so bad so whatever you are feeling right now is what you need to feel and maybe real soon you will be begging for forgiveness but of course that will never happen because you are always the victim. someone has always wronged you. someone is always doing you dirty but yet you have been lying, cheating, deceiving, and using people for your own selfish gain. karma is what you get…

uurrgghh liars!!!

Posted in lies, life by Tanae' A. on February 7, 2008
ok… I hate being lied to. You can do whatever you wanna do but lie to me and you are cut. I dont lie to you so dont lie to me…point. blank. period. Perhaps it’s the liars in my life that bring me so much stress. In my short twenty years of life I have lied to more people than I can count on one hand and I have seen the affect it has had on the people that I truely care about. Although I dont lie now, I know what a lie is. I can spot a lie before it even comes out ya mouth and as soon as I think somebody lying to me, im thru. That’s why i’m so floored right now. I knew before this person even called my phone on sunday that they were going to lie. And I knew that I would hear what they thought I wanted to hear instead of the truth. So I automatically answered my phone with attitude. I ate up the lies and waited to see if the truth would come out but of course it didnt, only more lies followed. By the time monday evening came I was laughing hysterically at this person for thinking that I am that naive. I had to let them know, I know when you’re lying so you might as well tell me the truth because when I find out where you really were thats gonna be all she wrote. But, the lies continue on. So today I was talking to some chick about it and all the truths starting pouring. Maybe this is karma coming back to kick my butt. Then its like, I feel like im being betrayed by a family member and if that is true at all I’m def going to flip on some seriousness. I dont understand why all this stuff is going on in my life but I know that whatever the reason is it better be damn good. I better come out of this mess ten times better than when I went cause if not me and God gonna have us some issues fa’real. I love Him dearly but is all this hell really necessary??