[{GRaViTY}]

the things GOD does…

ii know ii dont even really have the time to blog but ii just had to get this out. it’ll come back to bite me on tomorrow but ii had to take a few minutes just to say that GOD is awesome.
i’ll say to all you B-more ppl…if you missed Kickin It With the King on this past Friday night you truely missed a treat. it was a complete blessing in so many ways. now, as you all know ii was super excited to be going because AJB and Ap were going to be in the house and ii knew that they were going to shut the place down. we were in there enjoying the occasion…having a good hallelujah time and in the back of my mind im wondering when are they gonna bring out the fam. well…second to last.here they come. their name was called and after that God took over. okay…ii know AJB. see him quite often…talk to him…interact with him. ii know AP…talk to them too. just regular ordinary people with some SERIOUS talent. like super ridiculous talent. that is known…nothing new about it. ii know AJB is anointed in so many ways…no doubt about that. BUT WHAT II SAW FRIDAY NOT WAS BEYOND THIS WORLD.
the word says that many are called but few are chosen. this dude is chosen… ii know the talent but WWAAYY beyond that aspect of it ii was blown. ii honestly left out of there and in the back of my mind im thinking “God, how did you do that??” like seriously. it is truely unbelievable the anointing that is on this group of people. the anointing that is on this dude… its ridiculous. the crowd was hype and the second they walked onto the stage you could just feel the entire atmosphere change. ii told Jay yesterday that with each one of them that walked onto that stage more Jesus filled the sanctuary. ii was blown. completely. im still blown. ii dont know  how God can work thru someone in that way but it is amazing to me. and finally ii see what Nik was saying a few weeks ago. you talk to this dude and he’s just another one of them crazy regular retarded Brown brothers lol. but something happens when GOD begins to work thru him. and its not just in the singing or in the music…there’s something so JESUS about him. i’ve seen this dude minister without hitting a note…i’ve seen him speak words that couldnt have come from no one but God. it just blows my mind.
So ii say to you all reading this…find AP..google them. hit them up on the space. figure out when they are going to be in your area…do whatever it takes to be impacted by their ministry. and even beyond all of that. dont be afraid to let GOD use you. dont run from whatever it is that HE has in store for your life. most times we run from God because we are so afraid of what He has in store but the Bible says “seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God” dont be afraid of whatever it is that he has for your life because you never know how you can minister to someone else. you never know how your ministry can save someone’s life. so when it comes to doing the will of God…please dont hesitate. ii dont care if its the craziest thing that you could ever think…if its in the will of God.do it. In order to live for God or to be used by God you have to be able to submit. give up who you are in order to become who He wants you to be. You will be surprised how God can use you. He will do some miraculous things in your life if you just allow Him to work thru you.

www.myspace.com/ajb1981

can you kick it? cause ii KICKS it…

Posted in AJB & AP, Baltimore, lets have CHURCH!!, the [[OUTZZ]] of my life..., work by Tanae' A. on July 9, 2008
the past week has been a very interesting one. ii have realized a lot of things but the one that sticks out the most right now is that ii really really really do not like my job. ii love the people here. ii love being in this office but ii hate the work that ii do. never thought ii would say that. but ii guess its true what they say: to whome much is given, much is required. so now im being worked to death and part of me cant handle it but part of me knows that ii must master the task at hand in order to get the next level. im on my way to the top and kicking down every closed door that stands in my way.
this coming friday is a day that ii am looking forward to. ii am going to Kicking it with The KING at New Psalmist and ii am ssoo ssoo excited about it. being out on a friday night, party starts at 12 and its all JESUS…ii gotta feel good about that. but ii am even more excited because the best group in B-More is going to be performing. yup.you guessed it right. AJB and Answered Prayers are you going to be in the house. like my mans T.B. says:: if you dont show up, ya mam obviously didnt raise you right. lolzz. but everyone who is anyone ought to be in the place. ima be there at 9:30. doors open at 10 and the party starts at MIDNIGHT. its going to be a llloooonnnggg night and this chick plans on sleeping in on saturday lol.
hope you all have a great wonderful blessed week and weekend.

because there’s always tomorrow…

so, of course, my weekends never turn out how ii want them to but ii must say that saturday was awesome!! ii didnt even bother waking up to go look for a car cause ii didnt feel like being disappointed. so, everything was cool with that one. we left the house around 12:30 after the very very GREAT news!! we had so much fun!! we ate, went to the aquarium, and even climbed all the steps to get to federal hill lolzz. by the end of the day, my feet were hurting, ii was tired and ready to go to sleep. needless to say, after the great day the drama began and the night was terrible. we got back around 9:30 and from midnight to around 5:30 am ii was up mad upset frustrated and sleepy as hell. after all the drama was over, ii felt like crap, my head was hurting from crying so darn much and ii still hadn’t been to sleep but there was no point cause ii would be forced to wake up anyway. ii got up feeling so bad, got dressed and was out the door by 9am. we were on our way to church and that was the LAST place ii wanted to be. the drive was super long but ii felt like the further we went, the further away from my problems ii was going. the more we drove, the better ii felt and by the time we got there ii was okay. the service was great, ii got the word that ii needed to hear and ii left out of there ok. we went to go eat and the food was sooo on point. by the time we got back in the car ii was knocked out for life lmao. went home, took a nap, got up, ate and watched some tv before bed. this morning ii woke up so not ready for work but ii came in here anyway. funny thing is, saturday night ii cried because ii was so pissed, hurt and just fed up but yesterday ii cried because ii knew that something better was coming and ii had something to look forward to. its not about whats going on right now, its not about the shit that is literally trying to break me down but ii know that tomorrow will be better than today and so ii always have something to look forward to…
it takes [[FAITH]] to stand but it only takes ~feet~ to walk away…
aquarium pix on flickr

well aint that a word…and that too…and.. thats pretty good too.

all day saturday ii was out with my mom and sisters. woke up at 7:30 to be at mva by 9. left there around 10:30 and went to the mall. seems like we were there for forever but we finally dropped Indi and the baby off at home and went to the grocery market to shop for easter dinner. after we put all the food in the house we went to the movies and didnt get back until about 10 that night. by the time we got back ii was beat. i had to get my stuff together for dance, help my sis do some stuff and then hopped face first in the bed by 11. the plan was to wake up at quater to 5 to wake up for sunrise service but a phone call around 12:30 threw a hex in that plan. line of the night…”SHE LIED!!” ok, ii think ii got that message loud and clear.
ii truely missed the sunrise service…maybe because ii didnt get back to sleep til after two…thanks so much alicia for waking me up in a panic… ii appreciate you. ii got there just in time for sunday school and we were on call to dance… message:: “you dont have to know what song is being played…just dance.” uumm, it took me a minute to get that word because it caused our dance to bomb completely, ii did get a good laugh in tho. but ii got it yesterday, just dance.
second service was cool. we knew the song we were dancing to and altho ii cant stand the song, the dance went smoothly besides the fact that they said Jesus five hundred and twenty seven times…what is up with that?? lol. but the word of that service… “ressurected” bishop was on point and ii promise that was the word ii needed to hear so ii went home pretty content.
we went home, ate dinner with the fam, laughed and enjoyed ourselves altogether. after everyone left my cousins whome ii havent seen in centuries came over. ii made them some plates and they sat and talked to us for a while. word…”ten hundred..” lol…it has no real meaning but now ii know not to say it lol. thanks Theodore, you’re brilliant!!
ii woke up yesterday morning to my nephew making noise in my living room. mommy cooked breakfast and ii was forever grateful lmao. we went to the mall so mommy could do some walking and let the baby run around like he owned the place and around 10:30 we were back in the house and ready for a nap. we all just sat around watching tv and ii just happened to check my myspace page…wowzers… two ppl sent me messages regarding language and ii think that ii got the word “dont allow what you say to contradict who you are..” ii guess sometimes we forget…
the next word came from my own lips… ii dont think ii thought about it before ii said it but after it came out ii gave it a lot of thought… this is what ii said to a really good friend “its not about that, its about being real, being true. not just to everyone else but to yourself. so yeah, ii am a liar cause ii was never true to me.” dont think ii have to really explain that.
ii got to my besties house and saw squirt and scooda and the awesome phrase of the hour was…”no more tisses!! please. ii love you but no more tisses!” lolzz… ii think ii got a lil too happy when ii saw them cause that really was a lot of kisses for both of them haha.
last and final word that ii received came around 8pm after a really funny dance practice… “sometimes you gotta deal with in the moment, talk it out, say how you feel and dont go to bed mad” and that, for some reason, was exactly what ii needed to hear. 

a HOLY matrix, um matrimony…nope, just easter lol

it is only wednesday and ii am already crackin up over this weeks events. easter sunday is going to be hilarious. first off, ii know somebody is going to put their daughter in some white frilly dress with sling back white sandals and hair ribbons. and that same somebody is going to put that same daughter in some ugly thin shawl that is supposed to protect her from the tiny gusts of wind that come thru on easter morning. to that mother who is planning to torture that daughter, warning:: IT IS GOING TO BE FORTY SIX DEGREES ON EASTER!!! just thought she might want to know that before she sets herself up for failure. please put your children in COATS!!
and you would not believe that after two hours of sitting for two hours on monday trying to find a song to dance to, we picked some song that is ridic. seriously tho, this song got some wack beat in it so we was practicing and ii rocked off with this holy matrix move mixed with a tick and ii promised mo that i would do that on sunday morning. lmao. this is going to be funny but like India Arie said:: a promise is a promise haha.
ii am also deciding to renew my vows on easter sunday. somewhere along the line ii drew a line in the relationship that ii have created with Jesus. so that line will be erased somewhere around the spot where 5:45 slowly turns into 6am… translation, ii will be in church bright and early on sunday morning for sunrise service and ii know that there better be a mixed crowd on that parking lot when ii get there.
ii am showing up but ii will be dippin out to get a nap in before sunday school. ii am praying that someone brings in our early dismissal forms lmao. matter fact, im getting my own leave slips just in case she forgets. this should be funny, hey, we’re just being OBEDIENT…DuH.
and um, please Jesus allow a certain someone to get her hair did before she get up to dance on sunday morning because we all know that you dont want to rise and see that mess cause ii surely dont. we want to leave this Easter holy because we understand and appreciate the sacrifice that you made just you and I both know that someone should sacrifice a few dollars to get that weave done. Amen Jesus.

a long post

this weekend was expected to be a fairly good one. happy to say, ii wasnt disappointed at all. friday ii ended up being home which was okay with me because ii needed the peace and quiet. ii thought ii would be able to sleep in on saturday but people in america think that seven thirty is a good time to txt me. by the time ten o clock hit breakfast was ready and ii was so thankful to mommy for being such a good chef lolzz. ii got a shower and prepared for my day out. [[notice ii said out and not in]] anyways, it was raining by the time my bae came over so we decided to chill out until it stopped. what do you know…it stops around four o clock so we get ourselves together to go to the movies. next thing we know the wind picks up top speed and we are stuck in the house again. so needless to say, we miss the movie and we are sitting here trying to figure out what we are going to do. then ii get a txt message saying that ii better find something to wear for church because ii had to sing. so me corey and shay decide to go to dots to find something to wear. we come back and decide to just stay in, play spades and order pizza. meek came over and we sat around until around ten thirty having a ball. meek and corey left and ii headed straight to the bed. ii didnt want to wake up sunday morning but ii knew that we had to. of course we are always late because we just wouldnt be us if we were on time lolzz. anyways, shany was to lead the first song of the day and ii was floored when she did a cross over strut around the front of the church. this girl did a dip, a few spins and ii was waiting patiently for her to rock a shoobalou but ii was disappointed lolzz. after church ii drove home and treated mommy to dinner [[understand the two verbs in that sentence… ii DROVE and ii TREATED…now you know it was a good day lol]] ii went home, took a nap and then chilled with in and the baby for a long long time lolzz. ii eventually went to sleep and woke up this morning ready for work.

ii also talked to one of my favorite people this weekend and ii was happy about that. ever since ii can remember my uncle gerald has been down for me and shay. of course, we are his favorite nieces and ii owe part of that to mommy who is his favorite sister. yeah, its good to be associated lolzz. but seriously tho, this dude has been there since day one and he is like the only male role model in my life as far as family is concerned. but, he holds a special place in my heart and ii dont really talk to him as often as ii would like to but when ii can talk to him its like a breath of fresh air. ii plan to go to go visit him in boston very soon but until ii know that he is only a phone call away. this is my heart right here…

irjf6v7ro5jrsyz0nafdenkyrm45dyo0300.jpeg

ok, and someone please explain to me why some Tyler Perry tickets is damn near fifty bucks. ii dont understand that at all. ii was trying to be nice and so ii told my mommy that ii would treat her to go see the Marriage Counselor but when ii looked today at the prices the numbers almost blew me away. $45.50…are they serious?? ii wish ii didnt have to pay for her to go but ii already said ii would and im a lil pissed about it especially since ii just bought them Katt Williams’ tickets. but ii aint tripin over it, ii gots the money so might as well stop complaining lol.
and ii have a slight problem…nothing huge, i said slight.  ready?? okay… WHAT THE HECK AM I GOING TO DO FOR MY TWENTY FIRST BIRTHDAY?? ii already know that im going to spend a weekend with my uncle for a weekend around that time but other than that ii want to go out somewhere. ii dont want a party or nothing like that but ii do want to have fun and enjoy myself. most likely there will be a dinner for my fam and close friends so ii can celebrate with them but i dunno about the rest of the stuff. im trying to get up out of bmore so if anyone has any ideas that you wanna toss around, let me know. this is crucial and we must start planning now so that ii can start saving up.
and…i am thanking God for my mommy’s friends because one of her peoples just opened up a shop and he is going to hook a sister up with a car in a few weeks and it already passed inspection so ii am so excited about that. everything is working itself out and now all ii have to do is pass my driving  test in two weeks and im good to go. please please please be in prayer for me. and pray that my sis gets approved for her townhouse tomorrow. im ready to make the big move~DOWNSTAIRS lmao!! haha!!

happy monday to yah!!

P.S. ii lovezz my church!!!

second sunday… :-)

Posted in choir, church, clothes, good times, Jasmine, lets have CHURCH!!, Shiloh, youth ministry by Tanae' A. on February 11, 2008
Please just let me tell someone the events of my Sunday morning… First off, they tell us friday night that we have to wear red and black on Sunday to sing in and I was tripin off that. I already had something close to red [it was actually burgundy but oh well] but the bottoms would be a prob. I needed black pants. Of course, it is not a pay week so im kinda stuck like ok i’m wearing jeans and its gonna be what it is. Shay was struggling too, she didnt have a red shirt. So mommy decides to take Shay out to get a shirt on friday but then the shirt that she gets was too small so she couldnt even wear it. So Sunday morning comes and I got on Shay’s too big pants and this belt was wrapped around FIVE times and suffocating the dear life out of me lol. And Shay wore the all black and hooked it up with red accessories and red boots. We were late…of course. [[not me and Shay’s fault of course]] We get on the choir stand and everything is going great. Service is rolling smoothly and cool and then it comes time for us to sing. Oh Jesus…bless us indeed!! So, Darnell starts with this lead and then we all chime in sounding good and then it happened… the unthinkable went down. This man got up from the organ and did a shoobalou that was OUT OF THIS WORLD. He had people in the aisles tryna rock the two step and we was up there crackin up something serious. By the times we finished the song my stomach and cheeks hurt from laughing so hard but I was so happy that everything worked out well. We had fun up there, we sang well and we looked darn good if I might say so myself lol. Oh and let it be known for all those that didn’t get the memo….it is an absolute SIN to give Jasmine Jacole Portia Owens the microphone under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHAT-SO-EVER. She is not to stand anywhere by a mic no matter what, I dont care if its welcome or offering or the benediction…DO NOT GIVE HER THE MIC!!! That was the most outrageous funny thing that I had seen all day long and I want everyone to know that I object, that type of behavior is so unacceptable in the house of God lolzz. I’m glad that we got up there and did our thing and I am actually looking forward to practice friday night and next second sunday to roll around. Darnell is no Cornell but he’s alright with me… yeah, I can handle this dude and his shoobalou!!
shoobalou::
an unfamiliar foot movement usually done by those that have not a care in the world. This movement can be dangerous to those within a two foot radius and deadly to persons that engage in this type of behavior. If and when you encounter someone that does this type of movement in front of more than five people, BEWARE this person is ridiculously hilarious. lol

A Happy Tanae’

So… it is now 12:30am Monday morning but my mind is still in Sunday because I have not been to sleep yet. Let me just state for the record…[[i am so frickin happy right now, i mean, i dont think i can remember the last time I have been this happy]] Of course you want to know what is making me so happy…well, let me replay the weekend for you.

FRIDAY::

By the time I got off work, I wasn’t too happy. I was tired, frustrated and upset but thats not relevant right now. I ended up going home and sitting in my room for forever with my brother. I was waiting patiently for my booboo Ashley to come over so that we could go over to my besties house for a girls night. After a few hours her bus rolled around the corner and we were ready to go. We had a ball yall…we danced and laughed and watched some old-as-dirt episodes of comic view from like ’99 and then we went to sleep. I was excited tho because usually when it comes to new people in my life I am so quick to push them away but I felt comfortable with Ashley, I just wanted to be around her and she didn’t get on my nerves at all that night so I kinda felt good about that.

SATURDAY::

We didn’t get in the bed on Friday night til about 5 in the morning and we woke up at 7:30 to get dressed. Mommy was taking us to breakfast!! YaY!! So we go to eat and then we run to the bank to cash my check. Soon we were right back at Jazzy’s house attempting to take a nap. But of course, Jasmine is never ever sleepy so she sat up messing around making sure that we didn’t go to sleep. 11:30 hit and Big Mama was calling me && Ashley to get up so she could take us back to my house. We sat around doing nothing for about an hour and then we left out so she could get on the bus and go home. But, what do ya know?? She misses the effin bus. Now, we’re talking about the 4…you know, the one that comes every hour. It’s now 12:45 and I have to go driving at 1 and I really dont know what you are going to do baby. So she’s sitting in the house by herself [because everyone else was gone] mad as I dont know what cause she’s bored and lonely. Eventually she went home and around 3:15 I was back in the house and Phil was on his way. We all hopped on the bus to go to the mall and meet Ashley then we walked around for a lil bit before heading back out to familiar territory!! LoL!! How bout:: we was seven deep [Me, Shink, Jazzy, Jessa, Phil, Shay, and Ash] so anyways, we all went out to eat and then we parted ways around 11. For some reason around 12 midnight Ashley decides that she doesn’t want to go to sleep, she wants to sit up talking and acting like a retard for like 5 hours. Mind you, the night before we only got 2 and a half hours of sleep with no nap to carry us over. I have no clue what time we fell asleep but in the morning I was tired and mad cause Shay woke us up at like 8:30…like what really was she thinking??

SUNDAY::

I woke up ready for church. I knew what I was wearing and all I had to do was iron my clothes. Thankfully my outfit looked right, all I had to do was switch around the pants cause the ones I had on first wasn’t flowing with the shoes. So, we eat, get dressed and head out the door. Suprisingly we walk into the sanctuary at 10:56 and I was absolutely shocked. Service was great. It was funny cause the whole time we sitting there we trying to figure out who is going to preach so we thinking Bishop is just running late or something…of course he’ll show up. Nope, we was all surprised to see Pastor Ben Long walk up on the pulpit. Slam soon as I saw him I turned and looked at mommy like we bout to get a good word. And what do ya know?? God was in that place so heavy… I promise, I dont even remember the benediction. It was awesome… like, I have seen God move. I have seen things in church that will have me just like “Wow, look at God” but today… I cant even explain it. The word was good but there was something about God’s presence in that place that just made me feel tingly inside… it was like nothing I have ever felt before. I’m talking a good 20 minutes after everybody was gone out the sanctuary I’m still trying to get it together so that we could go… but I couldn’t. Everytime I tried to make it out of there the spirit of God was just holding on to me with like incredible force. All I can say is, you had to be there to see it or know what i felt fa’real. I have never ever had an experience like that or seen anything like that ever before in my life and it just blew my mind completely. I just wish that I could have stayed right there forever.

But eventually we had to leave so… we went home, changed clothes, ate and headed to Jazzy’s. We were watching some Lifetime movies and I was trying desperately to go to sleep but Ashley lil stpuid self kept tickling me and them other two bamas was so loud it was ridiculous. We played a game of monopoly and around 8:45 we left to go to my house. We stood with Ashley at the bus stop and went back in, talked with Indi for a while and watched a movie while I took out my hair. I just now hopped in the shower and now I am about to go to sleep cause I am exhausted but I just had to tell everyone how happy I am right now.

FINALLY::

I finally feel like everything in my life is falling into place. I have the best friends in the world that help me grow in so many ways. They are there thru good times and bad times… to make me laugh when I want to cry. I have the best girl in the world by my side letting me know that its just life… hopefully I can help her grow. [she told me today that she never felt anything like what she felt in church today and she wishes that she could join… I told her she could with out a problem] hopefully, we’ll help each other in the long run. I have the most wonderful support in the entire world, a wonderful church family that is there no matter what. They are there to give me hug, pray a prayer, offer a word of encouragement or simply life me up off the floor when I find myself half way under the sixth pew..LoL!! Really, I cant complain. And a lot of times I look around at all that I have and I feel unworthy, I feel like I dont deserve it but not right now. I know for a fact that I am truly undeserving of every blessing that I get and I am completely aware of the fact that I dont even deserve the air in my lungs but its different right now. I dont deserve it, I know I dont but God has so much love in Him to allow me to be here today. He is allowing me to be who I am today and I am truly grateful for that. I serve a God that accepts me just the way I am… even after every wrong thing that I have done he still looks at me and loves me and continuously blesses me. He dont look at me and see everything that I have been thru and done and I shouldn’t look at me like that either. My slate is clean my sins are forgiven and I am here today if for no other reason but to give Him praise for bringing me thru everything that I have been thru and to be a witness to those that are going thru. When I look in the mirror, I no longer see the person that I used to be.. but I see all that God has in store for me and it gives me joy just to know that I dont look like what I been thru… now, thats a word..

Guys…I’M HAPPY!!!

a good weekend=a bad monday

Okay, its not really a bad monday but…

Friday I really had a serious attitude. It was raining outside, I didn’t feel well and my sister was getting on my last half of nerve. After 45 minutes of standing on the bus stop I hopped on the first thing I saw coming. My mom had to pick me up somewhere cause I got on the wrong bus on purpose and then she had to run to the dollar store. Jazzy persuaded me to go to Jason’s Woods with them so I went home to change clothes. We drove for about an hour and then decided to turn around because the weather was too bad and we were hydroplaning [i learned that in driving school ha] and swerving like crazy. So we settled on going to Red Lobster and we ate some of the best food ever. The waiter was really really nice so we left him a big tip and then we went to the pool hall. Me and Matt shot around for a lil bit while Jazzy and Shay looked at us like we were crazy and then around 1 we got in the house.

Of course I was mad as hell when I had to wake up at 8 on Saturday morning. I got dressed and was out the door at 9. I managed to make it to Amy’s to get my hair done about 10 minutes after 10 and I didn’t leave there til about 1 cause mommy got lost coming to pick me up. So, with a headache and growling tummy, I hopped in the car. I was so hungry that I ate a half of chicken box and some food from wendy’s LoL!! so fat!! But anyways… we stopped at the halloween store so that I could get some stuff for the party I was going to go to. We got back in the house and I packed all my bags and was ready to go. Shink plucked my nerves for 10 hours before we left out the house but once we got to Jazzy’s she straightened up a bit. Once we got there our dacquiris (sp) were done and our food was cooking. We walked next door for a while and soon and very soon we sat down to eat. Ronnie hooked us up with some smothered pork chops, cabbage, spanish rice and corn pudding… the food was on point!! After that, Jazzy helped me get my outfit together and then we left to go to Dougs party.

Since we couldn’t find a ride we ended up walking… let me tell you. I had on a mini skirt, some fishnet stockings, some knee boots, and a lil ass black shirt… that outfit does not mix with walking up the street for 20 minutes in the freezing cold. But, I did it and we finally made it. When we got there it was really early still but there were mad people in there. It had to be no later than 8:30 and half of them were already drunk… it didn’t make no sense. We walked around and talked to everyone for a while and then we sat down and watched these people act like fools. Surprisingly, we didn’t drink anything that night besides the dacquiris (sp) that Ronnie made for us… and let me tell you, it is funny watching other drunk people when you’re sober LoL!! but anyways, we left around 12:30. Got in the house, ate some left over food and crashed.

We woke up Sunday morning ready to go to church. [well me and Shink were ready, Jazzy wanted to stay home] Eventually we got her dressed and made her come and she was glad that she did. The sermon was right on time and I think it was something that we all kinda needed to hear. We went to Golden Corale, laughed with Mommy a lil bit and eventually drove back to the house. Mommy went inside and we sat in the car and took the best nap this world has seen. An hour later we were on our way back up Sycamore and into the church. The choir was on point!! The service was extremely long and I was extremely tired but I still stayed til the end. We walked up the street and helped Jazzy with her project that she waited til the last minute to do. By the time we were finished it was 10:30 and I was beat. I went home and hopped face first in the bed and was pised when my alarm went off this morning.

I was so tempted to not come to work because I really feel like crap. My head hurts, my stomach hurts, I think I have a fever and I just do not feel good at all. I will probably end up going home early cause if not I do not think I will make it thru the rest of this day. It is freezing cold outside so I was really mad when I walked out the house this morning. Lucky for me, I put on a sweater and some boots and a scarf cause if not I would probably freeze to death.

I was going to go to dance rehearsal today after work but when I got up I quickly changed my mind. I may just wait and go next monday cause there is no way I am going to make it today. The only thing I want to do is go home and get in the bed… anybody got a thermometer??

a very emotional weekend

I dont really know how to explain this weekend. It was very emotional and very weird but we managed to get thru it. We actually had plans for friday. The dungeons was on our list of things to do but it was closed because of the rain so we ended up going to this other haunted house. After standing in that line for about 10 minutes we realized that it wasn’t worth it because it looked like it was for a bunch of little kids so we sold our tickets and left. So it turned out to be a girls night. We got a few drinks and sat around to play cards and that’s when it all started. We are sitting here talking about nothing in particular and then we just started talking about life. About everything that we had to get thru to get to where we are. Talking about all the poeple that weren’t there and how we were going to learn from their mistakes. We talked about everything that was hurting us and everything that we wished we could change. We talked about so much stuff and then we realized how absolutely blessed we were. We are here, all of us and we are doing damn good. We were sitting around all of us trying to be something better and this is what we have to be proud of. Sometimes we cant be proud of our parents or our family members but we are proud of ourselves because we were strong enough to make it thru every thing that the devil threw at us and we did it with the help of God. So this Friday night gurls night turned into a full blown praise party right there in the house. We sat there for at least an hour just praying and praising and thanking God because we made it to where we were and we are so blessed because we are here. It was a moment that I will continue to replay over and over again in my head for a long long time. It was just that special.

But anyways, we woke Saturday morning and we wanted to cook breakfast but everyone had something to do and in order to get to our various destinations we only had time to shower and get dressed before we were out the door fast. I went home, changed clothes and then got prepared to go driving. [my driving lessons are not up for discussion… LoL!! I’ll tell you about them when all my hours are complete and that will not be til Nov. 10th] I came home after two hours and sat around doing absolutely nothing. Finally my friend Smurph came over and we hung out all day not doing nothing until we decided to go see Jazzy. So me him and Shay hopped in the car and we were on our way. The visit started out a lil shakey cause everyone was getting on everybody’s nerves but after about 10 minutes we were all good. We played cards and ate a lil til about 1 in the morning and then we went home. I hopped right in the bed and was out like a light.

I did not want to wake up at 6:30 the next morning but I dragged myself out of the bed anyway. I put on anything and was ready to go by the time 7:45 hit. We hopped in the car and road up the peninsula at top speed and by the time we got to the church I was ready to go back to sleep!! LoL!! We went inside and the guest person who came, no I do not know his name, did really well. I really enjoyed their lil mini concert and sooner than I thought we were out the door. I talked for a bit then went up the street to grab a bite to eat. I recieved a phone call to let me know that there was no sunday school but I still came back down a lil early to talk to my peoples. I sat around for a while, laughed, joked, had another conversation about school and then we headed into service.

The service was good. The choir was great. The sermon was on point. But for some reason I felt disconnected… I wanted to be focused and I tried really hard but there were so many things on my mind that posed as minor distractions. When church was over we made a speedy exit so that we would be at NaNa’s house on time. On the way out I got a hug from someone and that was all the confirmation that I needed that a certain issue has been resolved. It felt good to finally have this woman acknowledge my presence and I walked away with a smile on my face. We went to NaNa’s house and waited because, of course after we rushed to get there, no one was ready. We went out in the tent to eat and have fun and eventually we went back home. While we were waiting for everyone to come and the food to get ready me and Jazzy had a really nice conversation… we just talked about things that we have never talked about before and I got a chance to actually tell her some things that she never asked and I never told. We got in the house and watched ‘Georgia Rule’ which was really good and then she left. I went upstairs to my room and I just thought about a lot of stuff. I finally went to sleep way after my bedtime and here I am on this monday evening ready to go home and watch Why Did I Get Married…

I purposely left all of the emotional things out. There are two reasons why I did that. 1. I have already talked about this with my second mother and it nearly brought me to tears at work so therefore I do not wish to discuss it anymore today… or until ultimately forced to deal with the situation at hand. 2. It is all kinda tied into one thing and the one thing that is at the root of all this craziness is not mine to discuss. Yes it involves me because it involves someone that I love very much but if that person just happened to browse by my blog I dont think they would too happy about their business being exposed.

I dont think it is going to be an easy week… it is still monday. I think I am anxious for the weekend to come because its my sisters 21st birthday and my TroyBoy is going to be at the party. This just gives me and excuse to see him without really letting him know that I want to see him. And I can flirt with him and make out with him all night which is always fun for a girl to do!! 🙂 This weekend is also my besties birthday so you know we bout to really have some fun.