[{GRaViTY}]

im a big girl now [[or at least im tryin to be]]

Posted in blessings, determination, faith, lets grow up, life, prayer, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on January 31, 2008
There’s not too much that I really want out of life fa’real. Of course, I want to be successful. I want to do a lot but I have never been the type to want a lot as far as material possessions are concerned. I know how to be content with what I got and perhaps thats because I’ve never had much anyway. Who knows. Right now, my main focus is on getting a car and going to school which I think is pretty much set in stone. In a month or two I’ll have my car [maybe even sooner than that] and in July I’ll be going to school at Sojourner-Douglas. Perhaps before the summer gets here I may even be out of my moms house but we’re gonna see about that. Pretty much, the point of this is that I’m growing up. I’m already twenty and while a part of me wishes that I could go back to sixteen I know that the age will only increase. I dont really want to grow up and do all these things but the bills on my kitchen counter remind me that I am older and am getting more responsibility. Perhaps someone could bless me with a raise..::clears throat:: lolzz
But seriously, pray for me guys. I’m trying to do a lot at one time but with a few prayers and a whole lot of faith I know that I will  be okay and every thing will work itself out. I guess it really is time to be a big girl and do some things on my own… man this sucks. IF ANYONE WANTS TO GIVE SELL ME A CAR PLEASE PLEASE LET ME KNOW BECAUSE JESUS KNOWS I NEED ONE ASAP!!!

the waiting process

“if its meant to be it will happen…” I hate cannot stand stuff like that. Why cant someone just tell me straight off top if stuff is “meant to be”…  well as you can tell, im a bit irritated right now but its only a lil bit. For the most part im in a really really good mood today so I guess we can start with whats got me irritated. The unknown. Plain and simple right?? Not right. The unknown is the most complicated thing in this world to deal with because its just not known…duh lolzz. But I guess theres always something that we dont know and i have learned to deal with it regardless how annoying it may be…
The past two days have been super good for me and I am literally smiling ear to ear because everything has been going soo good. On Christmas day I got into a really big altercation with my honey and I kinda brushed him off very rudely just because I was frustrated with the situation yet again. But on tuesday he actually reached out to me and since then we have been in constant communication which is absolutely amazing for us. Two days withough fighting ar arguing but actually talking about very real issues and helping one another out. It has been lovely and wonderful and great. And, I got to spend a very nice day with the besties yesterday and that only added to my excitement because there hasn’t really been any good quality time in a minute. I am also excited because I am getting to know people. I know that most times that is not always a good thing cause reality is that the people i have gotten to know are not good people but I feel good because now I know who they are and what I want to stay away from.And I feel really good because the past few days I have been taking time out to actually READ the Word of God which is really really amazing because I have been learning new things and I can feel myself getting closer to Him which is exciting. In addition to all these good things that have been happening I am also super overly happy because there is a four day weekend coming up and its a pay week so you know what that means. I get to spend time with all the people who mean something to me!!! YaY!! Tomorrow will be spent with Meek, Saturday is reserved for a ‘friend’, Sunday will be spent in church and with my fam, and Sunday night and monday will be time for the besties to spend some qt!! Isn’t that just exciting.. and I get to go to the movies… Praise Jesus!!!
Even when things aren’t how I want them to be I realize that I have so much to look forward to. Tomorrow, next week and even next year will present so many great things and now is the time to prepare for all that God has in store… im getting there guys, im growing up slowly but surely…

i need a bigger word than blessed

I think I just had the most powerful thought provoking conversation that I have ever had with anyone in a very very long time, if ever. I was sitting here and I always seem to get a lil figgety on Fridays so I decided to see who was on aim. And what do ya know.. Meeka hits me up. So at first we are just talking casually about life and everything that we are doing and have done. Mind you, I have not talked to her in forever and 3 years. But we sitting here just talking and then the conversation takes a turn. She tells me that God is really blessing her and I agree. She tells me all these things that he has been revealing to her and it blows my mind because I never in a million years thought that I would be having this conversation with her. God is just awesome. It amazes me how much he is doing in all of our lives really. I mean, we have all grown up so much and we used every single obstacle to make us stronger and here we are blessed beyond abundance and none of us can complain. I look at her and see what God has brought her from and I just get excited because if you knew Meek back then you would know how much work he had to do on her. I look at Nish and I am so proud of my sister. She is happily married and she has e beautiful baby gurl and she is living everyday trusting that God will guide her thru. Everybody judged her. Everybody said that things wouldn’t work but she had a faith big enough to get her to where she is now and there’s nothing I can do but be happy for her because she is living the way that she is supposed to be living. I look around at everyone and see the lil crazy gurls that we used to be and I cant complain because every day aint great and every moment aint all smiles but I am so happy that I am not the same person that I used to be. I am happy to know that I can call up my sisters and talk to them about the goodness of God and that right there to me signifies growth.

I’m proud of us… I think we did alright.

a lil bit of this and that

why are there some people in this world that chose to never grow up?? i’m really having a difficult time understanding why this one person just wants to be so immature. what really does she get by acting like a five year old child, can we please move on to something better… ITS CALLED MATURITY!! i laugh at people like her because she is a prime example of what i dont want to be like when i grow up…i mean, my thirteen year old sister is more mature than she is and she is well into her 30’s. come on boo-boo, aint nothing in america that serious.

how bout i am so excited for the rest of the week to just come on and get here because i think i will enjoy my weekend for the most part. tomorrow right after work i have to go to my new part time job [congratulate me please] to fill out some paper work. i’m kinda excited because i desperately need to save money and pay bills at the same time. i am sooo super excited about friday night because i get to take my lil sister chelley to this pcif back to school night. i wasn’t going to go but i figured it would be something that she would enjoy so i’m trying to round up her and the kiddies to go ahead and have a good time.

the rest of my weekend will be spent in relaxation unless i get drafted to go somewhere or do something on saturday. i am going to church on sunday…[for all you 7:30 service people, i do go to church i just be sleep during early service and sunday school… maybe if you all went to 10:45 service you would see me there!!! LoL!!] i promise you, i have gotten at least 6 phone calls this week telling me that i better show up in early morning service on sunday. i do miss sunday school a tad bit so i might make an effort to actually wake up early just to go to service and get some breakfast… it’s just that everytime i go to early service i am tempted to leave and go to city for their 11:00 service. but i vow to try my hardest to get up in time to actually go to early service… will i make it?? who knows.

And also, let it be known for the record that I AM NOT A RELATIONSHIP COUNSELOR!! so someone please tell me why everyone seems to be coming to me this week for advice about their relationships. I’M SINGLE!!  maybe that should tell you something… hahaha!! but its beginning to make me think that i am trying out for the wrong profession… maybe i should be a relationship counselor since i seem to be the only one that can solve these people’s problems…