[{GRaViTY}]

where do I draw the line??

I am a lil bit stuck right now. I am almost 20 years old and I realized that my life is the way it is because I dont know where to draw the line. There is still so much in life that I want to do. I still want to go out and have fun and enjoy myself but there is a very thin line that can easily be crossed. How do I go out and have fun without throwing a hex in my growing relationship with God. Like, next weekend is my sisters 21st birthday party and she really wants me to go. I really want to go. I want to go have fun, dance the night away, chill with some friends and just enjoy myself but does that make me a hypocrite? If I sit in a club half the night and then get up to go to worship service the next morning should I feel bad about it. My problem is, I dont know where the line is drawn. These days I dont even know if there is a line but I dont want to be considered someone who lives two seperate lives. I just want to have fun and I am terrified that I’ll find myself in either of the two extremes. Either I’ll live for Christ and will not have fun at all point, blank, period. Or I’ll have fun and go too far. I dont want neither of those things to happen. I think I deserve to go out and have fun with my friends. I think I deserve to just enjoy myself every once in a while without feeling guilty about. So where do I draw the line??

a lil bit of this and that

why are there some people in this world that chose to never grow up?? i’m really having a difficult time understanding why this one person just wants to be so immature. what really does she get by acting like a five year old child, can we please move on to something better… ITS CALLED MATURITY!! i laugh at people like her because she is a prime example of what i dont want to be like when i grow up…i mean, my thirteen year old sister is more mature than she is and she is well into her 30’s. come on boo-boo, aint nothing in america that serious.

how bout i am so excited for the rest of the week to just come on and get here because i think i will enjoy my weekend for the most part. tomorrow right after work i have to go to my new part time job [congratulate me please] to fill out some paper work. i’m kinda excited because i desperately need to save money and pay bills at the same time. i am sooo super excited about friday night because i get to take my lil sister chelley to this pcif back to school night. i wasn’t going to go but i figured it would be something that she would enjoy so i’m trying to round up her and the kiddies to go ahead and have a good time.

the rest of my weekend will be spent in relaxation unless i get drafted to go somewhere or do something on saturday. i am going to church on sunday…[for all you 7:30 service people, i do go to church i just be sleep during early service and sunday school… maybe if you all went to 10:45 service you would see me there!!! LoL!!] i promise you, i have gotten at least 6 phone calls this week telling me that i better show up in early morning service on sunday. i do miss sunday school a tad bit so i might make an effort to actually wake up early just to go to service and get some breakfast… it’s just that everytime i go to early service i am tempted to leave and go to city for their 11:00 service. but i vow to try my hardest to get up in time to actually go to early service… will i make it?? who knows.

And also, let it be known for the record that I AM NOT A RELATIONSHIP COUNSELOR!! so someone please tell me why everyone seems to be coming to me this week for advice about their relationships. I’M SINGLE!!  maybe that should tell you something… hahaha!! but its beginning to make me think that i am trying out for the wrong profession… maybe i should be a relationship counselor since i seem to be the only one that can solve these people’s problems…

youth leaders are not really leading

How would you feel if you knew that a LEADER in your church was sending your youth emails about the size of people’s (rappers, singer etc.) private areas and how well they are in bed??

There are a lot of people in the world that are familiar with the infamous “Superhead” otherwise known as Karrine Steffans… the Video Vixen. She has a book out titled ‘Confessions of a Video Vixen’ and she now has a second book on shelves, I am unfamiliar with the name. But for those of you that dont know, she has made a not-so-positive name for herself by sleeping with numerous people in the music industry. The purpose of the book was to tell a side of her story that no one had heard. I think that purpose was looked over entirely. Everyone that read the book was in it to hear about who she had slept with and what type of relationship she had with these men. I think that by the time the book became popular, she had also forgotten about her original reason for writing it. But that is not the reason for this post.

About two days ago, I recieved an email that totally blew me away. It was a list of about 40-50 music icons, past & present. Next to each of their names was a rating of big, small, thick, thin, short or fat. Add fuel to the fire… this ‘Superhead’ also remembered to add a detailed description of exactly how they were in bed. Although the email was very graphic, even for me, what pissed me off the most is that a leader of my church sent it to me. Not just any leader… a leader who works directly with YOUTH!! Is there any way to justify that??

I didn’t know what to do really. I was going to address her about the situation simply because I dont prefer to recieve things like that from anybody be it a leader of the church or a friend from school. But in a situation like this I really dont know how I am supposed to react. I am not surprised that this person would send something like that… I can easily tell a hypocrite when I see one. But what I dont understand is how you can even look at yourself after you have sent something like this to a youth in your church that you are supposed to be leading. Am I wrong for being upset about this and should something be said in order to get this type of behavior under control??

Tae’