[[He]] got me right where I {need} to be…

Posted in change, church, G-D, heat, life, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on January 22, 2008
I know that a lot of times in life we kinda go thru things that seem like total hell and most times we do anything to get out of the hell that we find ourselves in. One thing that I have learned from being in {hell} so much is that hell aint as hott as it seems. We pray and pray and pray for God to get us out of the hell but sometimes our purpose is to get burned.  Too many of us [[myself included]] automatically stop drop and roll as soon as we feel a lil heat but there is no lesson in leaving and no gain in giving up. Sometimes its the same heat that burns you that teaches you something and it took me a long time to learn that. This past weekend {after i broke my brand new phone} I kinda had this rude awakening. Usually if things aint going right wit me I’m cutting off everyone and everything [[God included]] and I had been doing that for a few days. I had completely cut off God and then I’m sitting back wondering why the hell He aint speaking to me…lolzz how dumb. So the other day I decided to have some really serious one on one time with God and He told me {yes He does speak to me…} that someone I least expected would give me the strength I needed to go on. So I’m thinking that this is crazy… but whatever God is God. Sunday was really not a good day cause I was walking around with a broke phone and I was just upset about a lot of other things. I ended up being at church a lil lonely for a lot of reasons and I kinda knew that altho I wanted to go home I was where I needed to be. While I’m standing around waiting on second service to start a lady just walks up to me. I’ve seen this lady before but not too much and I really do not know her name but she just walks up to me and starts talking to me like some long lost friend. I was truely not in the mood to be friendly so I politely excused myself and headed straight to the bathroom. But as I was walking away she said “you know, God has you right where you need to be”… I asked her what she was talking about…”what do you mean?? in church??” she says “No… In life” okay. um… you know what Lord, next time warn me before you start sending messages my way. But really tho, that was what I needed to hear in order for me to get thru that day. Its one thing to be where you are and not know which way to go but its another thing to know that you are where you need to be. That just lets me know that even in all the mess and all the crap and even all the good stuff…God is working on me. I’m excited because I know that I’m coming out of this {hell} and I may have a few burns and I may even be covered in soot but I know that I’m coming out a better person and God is truely working on me.
This past weekend I traded in my liquor for a wine cooler!! I was excited about that… maybe im the only one lolzz

when i dont feel like it

Posted in good times, heat, Jasmine, love, Luvli Ladiez, people I love, Shink, weekend by Tanae' A. on August 20, 2007

This weekend I was upset with my besties because they did some stuff and kinda brushed me to the side a bit. I didn’t say anything about it because I didn’t want to seem petty but eventually it came out. My plan on Saturday was to sit in the house in my bed all day and watch movies by myself because I really didn’t feel like being bothered at all. I didn’t feel good and the last thing that I wanted to do was be bothered with a bunch of black folk outside in the heat. But, of course, my plans got ruined when my besties came into the house having a fit because I didn’t want to go. So eventually I very sluggishly got out of bed and got dressed while they rushed me for an hour.

Once we actually got out of the house I was kinda happy that I decided to go because I do absolutely love being with them. I think sometimes I forget how much they can cheer me up even when I feel like crap. By the time we got to the park I wanted to turn around and go back home because my people phobia was beginning to kick in. There were way too many black folk that we had to squeeze past and go around and climb over and I was pissed. The music was good, the heat was terrible, the view was okay, and my feet were sore from standing up and after about an hour and a half of being there we decided to get away from that area. Needless to say, I enjoyed myself even tho we ended up walking for an entire year altogether. We had fun.

I guess sometimes we fail to realize that the people that make us the maddest at times are the only people that can really cheer us up. I would not trade my besties in for the world no matter what. We disagree and I get mad at them and they get mad at me but at the end of the day we are still there for each other, dragging each other on saturday adventures, cheering each other up the best way that we know how, and getting on each others last nerves.

I heart my Go0Ni3S!!! Muah!!

Blah Tuesday…

Posted in heat, life, weekend by Tanae' A. on July 10, 2007

Tuesdays have never been hard for me, I usually only have a problem with Mondays but I dont like this day. I dont know why. It didn’t start good and I really want to go home. I am tired and I’m trying to find out if there’s anything to look forward to today and there isn’t. I’ll most likely be in the house by myself with my older sister so i wont go home. I dont really feel like dealing with her today… or no day really. I dont want to just go home and go to sleep. I think I need to be with my bestie today but I have no way to get to her house. I feel the need to go for a walk but its so dargon hott outside… I might just die as soon as I walk out the door. So I’m stuck in this stuffy office and I dont have any air coming in. I really should go in the back and nap for my hour lunch but that would be too boring. I may just sit outside in the heat and try to enjoy it as best I can. What will a little bit of 100 degree heat do to me?? LoL!! Tomorrow should be a better day… It’s the middle of the week!! YaY!! and that only means I’m one day closer to Friday!! Friday is going to be fun… A bunch of us are getting together to eat crabs, play monopoly, and teach Jaz how to play Spades!! Yes…. this is our life.. And oh… best news of it all.. We’ll be doing it WITHOUT Mr. Chase!! LoL!! How lovely is that. Oh yeah, we managed to spend an entire weekend without him but he still practically blew up Shay’s phone like every 2 minutes. Get a life dude! Really.

can i go home yet??

Posted in back track, cold, events, family, frustrations, heat, issues, work by Tanae' A. on May 29, 2007

Sooo… yesterday was a very good monday. I was able to sleep past 6:30… YaY… It felt soo good to roll over at 10:30 and smell breakfast in the air… [I love my mommy!!] I slept about half the day on and off and got some good cleaning done. Okay, how bout, I was super excited to watch Montel and the stories… LoL!! I went to bed around 11 and slept so great. I woke up happy this morning to be going to work. I was up and dressed a good 20 minutes before schedule and even had time to go to the store. Sorry to say, as soon as I walked through the door I was ready to turn around and go back the way I came… it is at most 30 degrees in this building and they will not turn the air down or the heat up… I have on some holey sweater that aint doing nothing to keep me warm at all and I am desperately praying for 4:15 to hurry up and get here so I can go home. I thank God for air but gosh darnit… this is ‘walk in freeza, hurry up and get the meat’ type of cold… this is ‘middle of  winter, snow ball fight, frost bite toes’ type of cold… no…this is ‘the Titanic done sank, send a boat to save me and my chil’ren’ type of cold… I NEED HEAT!!!!