a good weekend=a bad monday

Okay, its not really a bad monday but…

Friday I really had a serious attitude. It was raining outside, I didn’t feel well and my sister was getting on my last half of nerve. After 45 minutes of standing on the bus stop I hopped on the first thing I saw coming. My mom had to pick me up somewhere cause I got on the wrong bus on purpose and then she had to run to the dollar store. Jazzy persuaded me to go to Jason’s Woods with them so I went home to change clothes. We drove for about an hour and then decided to turn around because the weather was too bad and we were hydroplaning [i learned that in driving school ha] and swerving like crazy. So we settled on going to Red Lobster and we ate some of the best food ever. The waiter was really really nice so we left him a big tip and then we went to the pool hall. Me and Matt shot around for a lil bit while Jazzy and Shay looked at us like we were crazy and then around 1 we got in the house.

Of course I was mad as hell when I had to wake up at 8 on Saturday morning. I got dressed and was out the door at 9. I managed to make it to Amy’s to get my hair done about 10 minutes after 10 and I didn’t leave there til about 1 cause mommy got lost coming to pick me up. So, with a headache and growling tummy, I hopped in the car. I was so hungry that I ate a half of chicken box and some food from wendy’s LoL!! so fat!! But anyways… we stopped at the halloween store so that I could get some stuff for the party I was going to go to. We got back in the house and I packed all my bags and was ready to go. Shink plucked my nerves for 10 hours before we left out the house but once we got to Jazzy’s she straightened up a bit. Once we got there our dacquiris (sp) were done and our food was cooking. We walked next door for a while and soon and very soon we sat down to eat. Ronnie hooked us up with some smothered pork chops, cabbage, spanish rice and corn pudding… the food was on point!! After that, Jazzy helped me get my outfit together and then we left to go to Dougs party.

Since we couldn’t find a ride we ended up walking… let me tell you. I had on a mini skirt, some fishnet stockings, some knee boots, and a lil ass black shirt… that outfit does not mix with walking up the street for 20 minutes in the freezing cold. But, I did it and we finally made it. When we got there it was really early still but there were mad people in there. It had to be no later than 8:30 and half of them were already drunk… it didn’t make no sense. We walked around and talked to everyone for a while and then we sat down and watched these people act like fools. Surprisingly, we didn’t drink anything that night besides the dacquiris (sp) that Ronnie made for us… and let me tell you, it is funny watching other drunk people when you’re sober LoL!! but anyways, we left around 12:30. Got in the house, ate some left over food and crashed.

We woke up Sunday morning ready to go to church. [well me and Shink were ready, Jazzy wanted to stay home] Eventually we got her dressed and made her come and she was glad that she did. The sermon was right on time and I think it was something that we all kinda needed to hear. We went to Golden Corale, laughed with Mommy a lil bit and eventually drove back to the house. Mommy went inside and we sat in the car and took the best nap this world has seen. An hour later we were on our way back up Sycamore and into the church. The choir was on point!! The service was extremely long and I was extremely tired but I still stayed til the end. We walked up the street and helped Jazzy with her project that she waited til the last minute to do. By the time we were finished it was 10:30 and I was beat. I went home and hopped face first in the bed and was pised when my alarm went off this morning.

I was so tempted to not come to work because I really feel like crap. My head hurts, my stomach hurts, I think I have a fever and I just do not feel good at all. I will probably end up going home early cause if not I do not think I will make it thru the rest of this day. It is freezing cold outside so I was really mad when I walked out the house this morning. Lucky for me, I put on a sweater and some boots and a scarf cause if not I would probably freeze to death.

I was going to go to dance rehearsal today after work but when I got up I quickly changed my mind. I may just wait and go next monday cause there is no way I am going to make it today. The only thing I want to do is go home and get in the bed… anybody got a thermometer??

a weekend of celebration…or maybe not

Posted in birthdays, celebrations, events, friends, girls night, Indi*poo, issues, Jasmine, movies, party, tired, weekend by Tanae' A. on October 26, 2007

so, yesterday was my sister’s 21st birthday and tomorrow is my besties birthday… so I am really in the mood to celebrate. We had some plans that would fill the whole weekend but I have a feeling that I am not going to like the way things turn out. We were supposed to go to Jason’s Woods last weekend but no one had any money so we are planning to go today. Note:: I do not want to go. I am terrified of anything that seems the least bit scary so I am not really looking forward to this. But since it is my besties birthday weekend and she wants me to go I agreed. Now, I think I have changed my mind. Tomorrow night, my sister will be having a birthday party at the club and we have been planning to go since forever. Now all of a sudden it seems like there are so many issues that are stopping everyone from going. That was the one thing about this weekend that I have been looking forward to and now they are telling me that we might not be able to go. Well, I am really not in a compromising mood so if we do not go to this party I am going to stay my butt in the house all weekend long. I am going to watch movies and wash clothes and not een bother going anywhere or doing anything. I am not going to PA just to be scared out of my mind and I am not going to sit in the house on Saturday night just to look at them like they stupid… I want to go out so if I dont go I’ll make sure that her birthday is boring and uneventful. I just wanna go to this daggone party and everyone is tripin like it takes that much effort to get to a stupid club. I would love nothing more right now than to go home, snuggle up on my couch with a movie and some Papa Johns and right now I am really tempted to do just that. I dont feel good, I have cramps to die for, a headache that will not go away, and I am sleepy as all hell so I dont think I’ll be a fun person to deal with if I dont get my way.

Happy Birthday everyone… this weekend better be the best of the best because if it isn’t I’ll make it the worst of the worst!!

a very emotional weekend

I dont really know how to explain this weekend. It was very emotional and very weird but we managed to get thru it. We actually had plans for friday. The dungeons was on our list of things to do but it was closed because of the rain so we ended up going to this other haunted house. After standing in that line for about 10 minutes we realized that it wasn’t worth it because it looked like it was for a bunch of little kids so we sold our tickets and left. So it turned out to be a girls night. We got a few drinks and sat around to play cards and that’s when it all started. We are sitting here talking about nothing in particular and then we just started talking about life. About everything that we had to get thru to get to where we are. Talking about all the poeple that weren’t there and how we were going to learn from their mistakes. We talked about everything that was hurting us and everything that we wished we could change. We talked about so much stuff and then we realized how absolutely blessed we were. We are here, all of us and we are doing damn good. We were sitting around all of us trying to be something better and this is what we have to be proud of. Sometimes we cant be proud of our parents or our family members but we are proud of ourselves because we were strong enough to make it thru every thing that the devil threw at us and we did it with the help of God. So this Friday night gurls night turned into a full blown praise party right there in the house. We sat there for at least an hour just praying and praising and thanking God because we made it to where we were and we are so blessed because we are here. It was a moment that I will continue to replay over and over again in my head for a long long time. It was just that special.

But anyways, we woke Saturday morning and we wanted to cook breakfast but everyone had something to do and in order to get to our various destinations we only had time to shower and get dressed before we were out the door fast. I went home, changed clothes and then got prepared to go driving. [my driving lessons are not up for discussion… LoL!! I’ll tell you about them when all my hours are complete and that will not be til Nov. 10th] I came home after two hours and sat around doing absolutely nothing. Finally my friend Smurph came over and we hung out all day not doing nothing until we decided to go see Jazzy. So me him and Shay hopped in the car and we were on our way. The visit started out a lil shakey cause everyone was getting on everybody’s nerves but after about 10 minutes we were all good. We played cards and ate a lil til about 1 in the morning and then we went home. I hopped right in the bed and was out like a light.

I did not want to wake up at 6:30 the next morning but I dragged myself out of the bed anyway. I put on anything and was ready to go by the time 7:45 hit. We hopped in the car and road up the peninsula at top speed and by the time we got to the church I was ready to go back to sleep!! LoL!! We went inside and the guest person who came, no I do not know his name, did really well. I really enjoyed their lil mini concert and sooner than I thought we were out the door. I talked for a bit then went up the street to grab a bite to eat. I recieved a phone call to let me know that there was no sunday school but I still came back down a lil early to talk to my peoples. I sat around for a while, laughed, joked, had another conversation about school and then we headed into service.

The service was good. The choir was great. The sermon was on point. But for some reason I felt disconnected… I wanted to be focused and I tried really hard but there were so many things on my mind that posed as minor distractions. When church was over we made a speedy exit so that we would be at NaNa’s house on time. On the way out I got a hug from someone and that was all the confirmation that I needed that a certain issue has been resolved. It felt good to finally have this woman acknowledge my presence and I walked away with a smile on my face. We went to NaNa’s house and waited because, of course after we rushed to get there, no one was ready. We went out in the tent to eat and have fun and eventually we went back home. While we were waiting for everyone to come and the food to get ready me and Jazzy had a really nice conversation… we just talked about things that we have never talked about before and I got a chance to actually tell her some things that she never asked and I never told. We got in the house and watched ‘Georgia Rule’ which was really good and then she left. I went upstairs to my room and I just thought about a lot of stuff. I finally went to sleep way after my bedtime and here I am on this monday evening ready to go home and watch Why Did I Get Married…

I purposely left all of the emotional things out. There are two reasons why I did that. 1. I have already talked about this with my second mother and it nearly brought me to tears at work so therefore I do not wish to discuss it anymore today… or until ultimately forced to deal with the situation at hand. 2. It is all kinda tied into one thing and the one thing that is at the root of all this craziness is not mine to discuss. Yes it involves me because it involves someone that I love very much but if that person just happened to browse by my blog I dont think they would too happy about their business being exposed.

I dont think it is going to be an easy week… it is still monday. I think I am anxious for the weekend to come because its my sisters 21st birthday and my TroyBoy is going to be at the party. This just gives me and excuse to see him without really letting him know that I want to see him. And I can flirt with him and make out with him all night which is always fun for a girl to do!! 🙂 This weekend is also my besties birthday so you know we bout to really have some fun.

where do I draw the line??

I am a lil bit stuck right now. I am almost 20 years old and I realized that my life is the way it is because I dont know where to draw the line. There is still so much in life that I want to do. I still want to go out and have fun and enjoy myself but there is a very thin line that can easily be crossed. How do I go out and have fun without throwing a hex in my growing relationship with God. Like, next weekend is my sisters 21st birthday party and she really wants me to go. I really want to go. I want to go have fun, dance the night away, chill with some friends and just enjoy myself but does that make me a hypocrite? If I sit in a club half the night and then get up to go to worship service the next morning should I feel bad about it. My problem is, I dont know where the line is drawn. These days I dont even know if there is a line but I dont want to be considered someone who lives two seperate lives. I just want to have fun and I am terrified that I’ll find myself in either of the two extremes. Either I’ll live for Christ and will not have fun at all point, blank, period. Or I’ll have fun and go too far. I dont want neither of those things to happen. I think I deserve to go out and have fun with my friends. I think I deserve to just enjoy myself every once in a while without feeling guilty about. So where do I draw the line??

you wouldn’t believe the thursday i just had!

It started out like any other ordinary day, I didn’t feel well but I still made my way to work like I always do. Upon my arrival, I walked with my co-workers to get breakfast and then I proceeded to do some work. Around 9:30 I got a text message from someone so I responded and continued on with my day and less than a half our later I attempted to call my brother and the words “service not available” showed up on my phone. So, I was a little confused, I didn’t know what this meant so a few minutes later it said the same thing so then I got worried. I did what I always do when something is wrong with my phone, I hopped online to pull up my account just to make sure that everything was on point. But when I went to put in my number and password it said that my number was no longer in service. So what did I do?? I called the good people at Boost Mobile. And of course they gave me the run around and finally they told me the problem. Someone had tapped into my password, put my number on a different sim card and then put a brand new number to my sim… huh?? How could this be?? No one knows. So after speaking with the manager who knew absolutely nothing, I called back again and spoke with some nice little foreign lady. I didn’t understand any of what she said so [not so] politely asked her if I could speak with someone else. So then she transfered my to some siddity cheerleader lady who was dumb enough to tell me that all that i could do was call the police because she couldn’t give me any information on my phone unless I filed a police report. So now I’m trippin, what is the police going to do for me when all someone did was change some info on my phone?? Nobody stole my identity or did anything with my social security number so lady, I dont think you know what you are talking about. She gives me some number to call and tells me that this sort of thing happens all the time. So I said okay and about a half hour later I called Law Enforcement. This lady officer who answered the phone literally laughed in my face. She laughed at me yall and she didn’t try to hide. She asked me what idiot told me to call them and why. So after I felt like a dumby for even attempted to call them I called Boost back and I had an attitude to last me for a whole year. I promise you, I stayed on hold for about an hour and a half so that they could figure out what was going on and what I could do. After getting the run-around all morning long a nice lady named Brandy hopped on the phone and said that she was going to try to help me. She asked me for all my info and I couldn’t tell her anything because whoever got into my account changed the address, passcode, phone number, and all the security questions. And they changed the name to Jokers Jinx… how effin funny right!! No. So she finally told me that she could put the number back in my name, change all the info back and put all the money back into my account if I bought a new sim card within 24 hours. So, I was frustrated after that but I was thankful that someone somewhere could help me do something that even the manager could not do…so kudos go out to her for helping me.

So, after all that I finally went to lunch an hour late and got some great food with Teia. I ended up being in another office for the rest of the day because some victims were still waiting for their cases to be heard and at 4:45 I was out the door. By the time I got home I was really ready to chill out but I still had to go and get me a new sim card. I called my aunt and told her to take me to Logan Village on the way down to revival. She said yes so I ran into the store and was on my way out 3 minutes later. We hopped in the van and out of nowhere my aunt says “Yall, there goes Larry Tate” “What?? What are you talking about” “Yall, he is walkin up the street…look!” “Oh Jesus, it’s him in the flesh!!” He came over and gave us all some love and that was the one thing that made my day so much better. I saw my cousin walking around in Logan Village after being in intensive care for three weeks. The last time I talked to anyone it was a week ago and they told me that he was in the same condition and was not making improvement and here he was walking around the shoppin center healthy as all get-out. Now, that right there erased every problem that had occured with my stupid stupid phone.

We got to the church and there was no one there so we stepped outside so that I could let them know that I had gotten my new sim card and like they promised, everything was back to normal. I was excited because I now had a phone. YaY!!! I ended up having to switch all my numbers to my new phone which took me forever but I will not complain. Service was good, I laughed with my sweethearts and I got in the bed about 5 hours past my bed time so I was extremely tired this morning. But, we are having a pizza party at work, and we’re going to revival again tonight, and i might even take a trip to the pool hall. I’m getting up bright and early tomorrow morning to go to MVA [because when I went last weekend they were closed] and I hope and pray that I will see my bestie this weekend cause I miss her o so much.

It’s friday, it has been a good week despite my head cold that lasted too long. And I am so excited that I may be going to 7:30 service on sunday morning and sunday school… The weekend is here.. lets make it count…

I love my big cuzzo Larry and my lil sis Drea…

Things are not what they appear to be…

Posted in back track, celebrations, change, death, events, life && death, lost one by Tanae' A. on September 6, 2007

Right now I am super excited and super thankful to God because the story was all wrong. It turns out that the accident was not at all the fault of the young lady that was driving the car that Brielle was in. Here is what happened. Apparently, there was a collision between two cars and the young lady tried to avoid hitting them and she drove into the other lane. When she did that she was hit by two cars. There was a couple there that saw the entire incident go down and the story has been backed up. Soon it will be revised for the news and I am happy to know that the driver of the car, who is still in a coma, will not have to wake up and think that she was responsible for Brielle’s death. This is good news guys. Does it make losing her any easier?? Not at all. But at least we know that it was not this girls fault.

To everyone that is grieving right now just know that she is in such a better place. Right now she is living a better life than all of us because she is walking around in heaven with God. They say we should rejoice when people die and when babies are born we should cry. I just know that Brielle has been joined with more angels up in heaven and she’s looking down on all of us including the driver of that vehicle.

R.I.P. Brielle, you are free to fly up in the skies and be the angel that you were truely meant to be… you are loved.

I Dont Know What to Expect

Posted in crying, death, events, funeral home, good times, life && death, lost one, love, pain by Tanae' A. on September 6, 2007

Tomorrow everyone will gather to view the body of Brielle. Am I looking forward to this?? Not at all. I am in no rush to see her friends and family, I am not anxious to shed tears over another angel taken from us. But I feel like this is something that we all must handle together. I will be there, to show my support, to offer a hug, and even a shoulder to cry on because you can never have too many people in your corner. I will be there for Tynekua, Ryiesha, Vanita, Madison, Jasmine, Martierra, Jessica, Monique, and all the other people that are hurting. I will be there to cry with them, laugh with them, and remember the good times with them and it will be extremely hard. I dont think anyone can ever prepare themselves for something like this but this is what life requires from us all. I am even less excited about attending the funeral that will take place on Saturday Morning. I am scared that I wont be strong enough to help all the people around me that are weak. This has been a very troubling and emotional last few days because it still so hard to believe that such a young exuberant life has been taken from us in such a tragic way. And even as we mourn over our loss, I cant help but to think that Brielle is watching over, not only her family and friends, but she’s watching over the young lady who was driving that is still in a coma. She is being a guardian angel for her and bring comfort and strength to her family. Her mother, Tionne, and Mel. I know she is. Tomorrow & Saturday, we gather to reminisce over the good times and we gather to say farewell to such a wonderful person and we all know that we will see her again when it’s our time to go.

R.I.P Brielle… it’s still hard to believe that you are gone

continue to watch over us all and strengthen ya lovies in their time of weakness


getting to know people

Posted in check ya flesh, church, decisions, determination, events, ministry, Shiloh, [Y.R.P] by Tanae' A. on August 27, 2007

Yesterday was our last summer service at church so, like always, we enjoyed a very hott outside service. I woke up a little early because I decided that I wanted to go to Sunday School and I was a bit discouraged to hear that it was cancelled because of a New Members Breakfast. I ended up just sitting around chatting with a few good folks as I waited very patiently for service to start but in the meantime I noticed a girl walking into the church. I had seen this girl before a few times but I didn’t really know who she was so I decided to introduce myself… I was not pleased with the way the conversation went down…

“Hello!” I said with a very bright smile… she didn’t respond she just looked at me like I was crazy and gave me one of those four finger waves.

“Um, I been seeing you around a lot lately so I just decided to introduce myself. I’m Tanae’, this is Shanaira, and the one in the blue shirt is Kayla.”


“So, whats your name?”

“Deanna…” with sarcasm drippin from every other syllable

“Oh Ok, and the boy that you be with is your brother??”

“Who? John?”

“Is that his name??”

“uuuhhh huh..”

“Ok, well I just wanted to introduce myself. I’ll be seeing you around.”

And yet again a rude reply… “Oook…”

Now, at first, I was completely turned off by this chicks attitude. I was being really nice to homegirl trying to introduce myself and some of the other youth and she just straight up threw sarcasm all in my face. But, despite my feelings about her, she is a new youth at my church I feel as tho it is my responsibility to get her and her brother affiliated with some other people their age. So, I am going to continue to speak to her and greet her with million dollar smiles. I am going to give her chance to get to know some people and get used to the atmosphere that is probably not accustomed to. Maybe in a few weeks she’ll have a change of attitude and actually get to know some of us and she may even want to become active in ministry.

Usually, I would never talk to this chick again after the conversation that we first had but I had to really think about it. I know back in the day, my first impression on a lot of people was probably horrific but most of those people continued to deal with my lil attitude and eventually realized that i’m not a bad chick. Actually, I can be nice, quirky and retarded most times. But, some people just take a lil longer to come around then others so maybe if she sees somebody thats continuously trying to make her feel apart of she’ll warm up a lil. I’m hoping and praying she does…

J.Bynum [why are people bashing her??]

Posted in check ya flesh, church, events, frustrations, marriage, ministry by Tanae' A. on August 24, 2007

I am really not understanding why there’s a story about Prophetess Juanita Bynum every where I turn. Most people are being sympathetic and prayerful but there are a few that are chosing to criticize and it’s really bothering me.

Marriage is supposed to be something sacred. Marriage is something ordained by God. Every one has problems, no doubt, but who in their right mind would want their marriage blasted all over the global world?? I dont care if everything is peachy cream or going terribly wrong, people need to mind their business!! Let’s pray for her and her husband rather than commenting negatively about what has happened.

Someone wrote on a blog that this was a setup used to cell more cd’s and Conference tickets… come one people!! I happen to like Junaita Bynum, I think she is a wonderful lady and more than that I think God has used her in a dynamic way to uplift women all over this country. She does not need to be beat down in a parking lot in order for people to buy her cd or go to hear her preach.

I guess this is what you get when you begin to make a name for yourself. I hope and pray that a few praying folk would go to God and just wish her well in everything that she does. But I also pray that the IGNORANT people in the world would take a look at what they are doing and who their words and actionas are affecting.

My prayers go out to Juanita… B.Blessed Sistah

another monday post

It’s Monday!!! and yet again I am telling you all about my weekend. Three days spent doing nothing too important. Time spent with my besties. Hours that went by way to fast. So what did I do this weekend??

Well Friday was a very interesting day. Me, Jaz, Shay, Bry, and Smurph all got together to eat some crabs on Jaz’s back porch and Jess even came down for a while. We laughed and geeked and played cards and monopoly and did absolutely nothing til about 4:30 in the morning. I think we had about 40 conversations about nothing in particular and had about 75 debates that got no where but it was fun. By 5:00 Jess and Smurph were gone and everybody else turned over to go to sleep.

We all woke up around 9:30 and went to McDonalds to get some food. We spent about 6 hours taking out Chelly’s hair and listening to music and then we finally decided to get some more crabs around 5:oo. We played more monopoly [i won!!] and around 10 we all went to our homes to prepare for church on Sunday morning.

Church was good. India and the baby came along. Brandy and Karen even showed up which was good. After service Jaz went to work and we went to Olive Garden with Mommy, India and Lil Eric. The food was good but none of could eat it all. We went  home and took naps then me and Shay got up to watch my new favorite tv show… Side Order of Life..on Lifetime.

I woke up late and extremely tired this morning. I rushed out of the house and enjoyed a very long ride to work. I got to work on time and right now I am freezing cold cause this air is blazing. I will save tons of money today because I didn’t eat breakfast and I brought my own lunch from home…

Next Saturday is the Church Wide Picnic and I am so excited so I hope and pray that this week goes very smoothly. And I am really praying that I dont get caught in any of this weeks rain. I hope you all are praying as well. I just put color in my hair and I will be highly upset if it starts running!! LoL!! Please pray!!