[{GRaViTY}]

good, great…AWESOME!!!

ii called myself splurging on payday and so i did some online shopping. well, my clothes came in yesterday and the pants were TOO BIGG!!! ii am happy to know that ii can just take them to a local store and get a different size instead of sending them thru the mail again. and shink has to find something to wear for church so she’ll be tagging along. hopefully she’s in a better mood because she has to have her wisdom teeth pulled so she been acting kinda stank lately. oh well.
tomorrow is so not going to be the best of days. first off, i have to go an entire day away from Bobby Jack. gotta drop him off in the morning to get some reconstructive surgery. hopefully he only has to go back one more time but im not really worried about his bumper for now. after that is the anual turners station parade. ii am so NOT excited about this. every year its the same thing…chicks marching up the street in too short skirts and two dudes in the back tryna drop it like its hott. the same people walking around with 5 kids each trying to show off what they THINK they are doing with their lives….oh.boo.you and ya 4 baby daddies.
ii am, however, looking forward to sunday. PASTOR’S ANNOVERSARY!! ok. ii went to dance practice and choir rehearsal and ii want to do both. well really ii only want to sing one song with the choir but ii know that there is no way possible to do both and ii already have a part in the dance that ii cant turn down. so therefore, ii will be dancing and the choir will be on point and ii will be very very…not happy lol. FREE FOOD!!! that is the reason for my smile all day sunday because we all know that free food is the best food!! YaY!!
last week was some type of appreciation day…either assisstants or secretaries…something like that. whatever. anyways, we ended up having a luncheon. Pat Jessamy came by to drop off some pretty nice tokens of appreciation and someone even brought in some breakfast one morning. the best part of it all…we all have gotten two half days off work. of course, my first thought was…well two halves make a whole. but no. that thought was quickly shot down. we can only take TWO HALF DAYS and one of those will be used on Monday because ii know ii will be exhausted from sunday’s festivities.
great great great news… well the bad news is first. my bestest friend here in the office has just got another job in the division. she will be going to another district, another court house, another office. she is leaving me behind and my insides are crushed cause now ii have no one to eat lunch with every single day. but, good comes out of it. most of you know that for the past year and a half ii have been contractual. meaning, ii dont get benefits, no insurance, no pay on holidays…nothing. ii have been waiting patiently for a position to open up or for someone to move on and although she is the last person that ii want to leave ii am excited. because she is moving on ii automatically get her position and you know what that means?? BENEFITS!!! PAID HOLIDAYS!! INSURANCE!!! DID II MENTION THE PAID HOLIDAYS?? WELL, PAID HOLIDAYS!! AND VACATION TIME!!! PERSONAL DAYS!! SICK LEAVE!! BENEFITS!! you get it?? ok. good. but ii am happy. and altho ii am NOT excited about the work load, ii am excited about the PAID HOLIDAYS and the VACATION TIME [[just in time for summer]] and the SICK LEAVE… give me the docket if ii can get paid for Christmas lmao… but things do work themselves out ii suppose.
Happy Friday and have a great, wonderful and productive weekend!!

.just.so.tired.

Posted in choir, church, dancing, FOOD!!, friends, getaway, help me!!, im so over it, prayer, Shiloh, tired, [[o8 aint 4 me]] by Tanae' A. on April 22, 2008
im tired yall. really tired. just of the day to day ritual. tired of the everyday people, the everyday headache…the everyday bullshit. tired. tired of trying, tired of helping, tired of being used. tired. just. plain. old. tired. no if ands buts on the end of it…maybe a yarn or two.
yesterday i had to cut off a real cool chick cause being friends with her was keeping me tied to someone else that i didnt want to continue being stuck to in any kind of way. we talked about it and she was cool with it, understood the situation and after that i felt free to walk away. im no longer tied to someone and now that chapter is over with. thank God.
now. i tried the same thing with JHW II but there is no way to be free from that. everywhere i turn there is some way that i am connected to him. i mean, we go to the same church for Christ’s sake and even tho he is hardly ever there….uummm HELLO do you not see his fam and friends surrounding me?? thats a book that has no ending so i guess ill be stuck to him forever…its draining.
i call myself trying to be a friend. i try to be nice, i really do. i let someone who called me their best friend borrow money. the first time i aint think twice about it. she was about to start a new job and just needed gas money. of course ima give it to her especially since she gave me a ride home that day. she claimed she was going to give it back to me and i wasn’t really worried about it… what is ten dollars?? nothing. so two weeks later she had lost that job and was about to start a new job [[did i mention that this chick cant keep a job to save her life??]] and of course was broke and needed money. so, after thinking about i figured id give her some money cause at least she is TRYING to get a job and do something positive. mind you, this wasnt no chumo  change…this was some serious dough, no joke. so, about a week later she loses that job, outrageous yes. so i decides im not going to say anything about the money for a minute cause she needed a chance to get back on her feet. so about three weeks later i asked her when she would have the money and told her i wasnt expecting it all at once. she says that she would have it all on the following friday. by the time the next wednesday came she asked me if she could wait two weeks til the 26th. of course, i said yeah. at least she came at me and asked if i could hold out and i really didnt even need the money. so the 26th rolls around and you would think that she would call me, txt me, im me, hit me up on the space…something. nope. didnt hear from this chick at all. so two days later she texted my phone like she aint owe me nothing…just talking bout nothing. ok, wait a minute, something aint right. i let her go a week just to see if she would mention the money at all. nope. silence. no money talk round here. so by that point i was irritated…not even mad fa’real. i called her and asked when she was going to have the money and after that she been ducking me out ever since. not answering my phone calls or nothing. she was supposed to bring it last week but of course something happened and two days later she magically lost her bank card. so you know what i did?? i went to every single bank website that i could think of and checked to see how long it takes to send a new bank card thru the mail. THE LONGEST THAT IT TAKES TO GET A NEW BANK CARD IS THREE TO FIVE BUSINESS DAYS. ok, she lost the card on saturday so that means it should be in the mail by monday morning and at her house by wednesday or friday.  that means, ill be knocking at her door on saturday evening and if my money aint in my hand my fist will be in her face. sorry but im tired.
pastor’s anniversary is in two weeks. am i excited?? yes and no. excited because first…FREE DINNER!!! i know, i know, the first reason should be because i just love my pastor so much [[which i do]] but…i love food just so much more and you know FREE food is the best food ever invented. so second reason i am excited is because i love my bishop oh so much. third reason…we have three wonderful great menses of GOD preaching and i know that it is going to be a holy ghost filled day. reasons why i am not excited…first, three services, from 7:30 am to around 6:30 pm i will be in Shiloh, around church going people and in church clothes that i do not want to be in for more than two hours max. reason number two, i just got a text message two minutes ago saying that ALL choirs must sing. that means, i have to go to rehearsal and on top of that i have to dance. singing and dancing all day long is not going to work for me so i am going to go to both rehearsals and then decide which one i want to be bothered with because the changing and stresses of both will not be working. reason number three… who in their right mind decided that it was ok to tell Tanae’ that pastors anniversary was coming up two weeks before it comes…ok, allow me to get my head together please. thank you.
im tired. just tired and worn out. tired. i just want to go somewhere far far away and sleep for two days straight and pray for eternity and then come back to try it again. sometimes we just need to get away from the world and just spend some alone time with us and God… until i get to get away ill just be tired and hopefully you will keep praying.

shawty pimpin with 2 fish && 5 loaves of bread

Breaking News::

JHW II has a girlfriend!! Yes people, it is official there is no more ‘us’ so as of today Tanae’ is thru with that story and now a new book begins. Wish him and the new beau well. She must be some kinda special if he is into making public announcements and what not. Welp, sucks for me right?? ok. now back to our regularly scheduled program.

Today is the day people… it’s pimpin, pimpin!! Yessir, you guessed it correct…ii am going to see my future baby daddy and ii cannot wait. and for all of you that are interested in the rest of my weekend….it goes as follows::
Right after ii leave the office ii will be going to the shop to check on my baby [[car]] and pick up some paper work so that ii can get my insurance tomorrow. after that ii will be meeting the besties at the crib to change clothes and head out for the night. tomorrow, there is a bunch of stuff on my list of things to do but most of it includes spending money for car stuff and uummm, thats about it lol. Of course, going to the bestie’s house Friday night…DuH. EARLY EARLY EARLY EARLY EARLY EARLY EARLY EARLY EARLY EARLY EARLY saturday morning ii will be getting up to go on a rinky dink fishing trip with the youth. ii emphasize early because we have to be there at 6:30 and last time ii checked 6:30 dont have an a.m. so not only do ii have to go fishing which is so not normal in my world…but ii also have to wake up before the damn birds and get to the church. so not excited about that. maybe ii would be a lil enthused if they was frying the fish that ii caught…now that is spoken by a true black person lolzz. THEN ii have to turn around EARLY sunday morning to dance to this ol stupid dance that will have me out of breathe by the time we get down the daggone aisle. good thing there is no evening service…i meant to thank the Bishop personally for putting a stop to that lolzz… monday, its back to the drawing board. back here at work and back here on the blog. you might hear from me before monday morning but ii doubt it very seriously.
and please please pray for my brother/cousin…he is in another state making a fool of himself…Jesus please give that boy a brain asap. ii gosta go yall…muh baby daddy is calling me lmao

church folk say the darndest things lol

Posted in church, dancing, easter?, good times, people I love, phunni moments, Shiloh by Tanae' A. on March 17, 2008
so, at the end of our very fun dance we were forced to do a half split. of course, ii did nothing close to a split but Mo and Kim did their’s completely… as ii was getting up off the floor this is what ii heard…
Nina~ “ii can do that”
HebHeb~ “you want me to help you up??”
lmao…me and Mo was cracking up cause ii know that no one but us two heard it and it was the funniest thing. then the other idiot of the day gets on the topin of lotion…oh em gee.
sean~ “i’m just ashy, like if ii was a slave they would’ve talked about me. since ii was born, ii was just ashy. my mother just coughed me out. seriously, she said ::cough:: and there ii was. just ashy. now look at me, im beautiful. beautiful and ashy. but ii put on my watery lotion and it helped.
ii promise we sat back there for twenty minutes listening to this man talk about how ashy he was. like, ii have never heard anyone clown theirselves so hard it was ridiculous… yes, the results of being an only child. lolzz.
oh, and ii figured ii would be nice and relay the message that bishop wanted us all in church t~shirts for easter and this is the response ii got from someone’s mother…lolzz.
someone’s mother~ “what?? who wearing t~shirts on easter?? it is easter sunday, my kids is putting on something nice. aint nobody wearing no t~shirts…ITS EASTER!!”
church folks, say the darndest things and ii lovezz it.

remind me to quit…asap

Posted in church, complaining, dancing, hurt by Tanae' A. on February 5, 2008
I am absolutely convinced that my dance instructor is CRAZY out of her head lol. Seriously tho. Yesterday I was limping around all day long due to pains in my knees, hips, back, side… just pain everywhere. I was in no condition to even attempt to go to dance rehearsal but I went anyway. I thought we were going to go over what we learned last week because that was fairly easy and didnt take too much out of me. Once I got there I was so super happy to learn that I got what I had hoped for. And then my night went down down down hill. We are saving this dance for 1st sunday in march, someone forgot it was black history month. Well, I didnt forget but I was surely hoping that she would forget because God Himself knows that i HATE black history dances, especially ones that this lady makes up. We literally learned the first fourty eight seconds of this dance and now I am worse off than I was when I got there. She has recreated the lunge and I swear if I stretch my back leg any further or get any lower I am going to blow. I really dont think people know how much it takes to not only learn a dance but to also do this same dance five hundred times in two hours. It looks so pretty and nice and fun… oh no, we smile but we are in some serious pain up there. With every lunge and every spin and every dag on sashay our bodies are slowly falling apart and I just want people to think about that when they see us up there on sundays.
Sunday, I promise I was ready to truely give up and here’s why. We get dressed, sit in the back as usual and then are told that we are all starting in a squat. Okay, you try to squat and then hop up into a spin and see how you like it. Then, after doing our parts we had to squat again. And then, after this lady saying ‘im encourged’ eight hundred and sixty two times, I ran out of encouragement and needed some oxygen. Then, in addition to that we find out after service that we are going to be dancing to the choir. Okay, I love my Peggy to death but that woman knows how to stretch a song for dear life. By the time I got thru the third manifest I was ready to go. But of course, this lovely dance instructor of mines makes it known that the manifests have to be powerful “I want leaps and spins, get up off the floor. I want BIG manifests..” her words exactly. So unfortunately I end up standing right next to her and she is giving me this look like, you better leap and im running around about to collapse at the altar and pray for some new knees.
I just want the entire world to know that as soon as someone reminds me, I am quitting this mess and picking up a new profession lol. I truely pray that all my pain is ministering to someone cause if it aint, Im limping around for nothing. And as soon as my joints heal, It’ll be back to dance practice for the african dance. Just pray for me… please.

i dont think i can do this…

Posted in dancing, FOOD!!, health by Tanae' A. on February 4, 2008
i dont know who i think im fooling but this is no longer a joke. after dancing at two services yesterday and getting a good nights sleep…i woke up this morning with back pains, knee pains, neck pains…just all kinds of pains. pains so bad i had to catch the elevator instead of walking up the two flights of steps to my office. then i have to turn around and go to dance practice tonight… i dont think i can do this, like really. maybe im getting old or something but im tired. i walked two blocks today and was out of breath… something aint right.
somedays i feel like im dying…or somewhere close to it. my chest hurts more than it should. i dont breath too well most days. something inside is hurting but i dont know if its my kidney or what. im going to the doctors soon so i guess time will tell but i know that i am kinda not in good health. im drinking water and eating right from now on cause i cant stand the thought of not being healthy. so i guess that means no more carryout. no more pork from apple trees and def. no more mcdonalds and cheese steaks and fried chicken. i like my lil eff’d up life so i aint trying to go to glory no time soon, especially not from eating a lil too much grease in the morning. keep me in prayer cause i think im a lil too young to be having all these pains… and if you dont see me third sunday dancing like im posed to, that means i quit from exhaustion lolzz…