someone cry with me….please, jus shed a tear on my behalf

ok, so everyone knows that Katt Williams is coming to town next week. and everyone knows that ii purchased the tickets the FIRST day that they went on sale because ii could not possibly risk them being sold out. ii have been waiting for this for over a month now. doing a count down in my head. but then, someone mentioned a car…and you know all those funds so necessary for tags and insurance?? well, they kinda slapped me in the face and now im a lil on the broke side. so in order to get the well waited for vehicle to be in front of my house ii have to make sacrifices. yes, ii am giving up on my future baby daddy and selling my ticket to mommy and inside ii am dying but ii know that it will all be so worth it when ii am able to get behind the wheel of MY car on this coming FRIDAY!!! [[a moment of silence for the show that ii am going to miss…]] you know what, im gonna be ok, im gonna make it thru this grieving process and me and my future baby daddy are gonna have to meet up at a block buster somewhere at a later date… matter fact…my car now has a new name… Katt Jr…. no kidding….thats the vehicle name. and ii do understand if your heart is a lil sore from the unexpected change of plans… ii know how much you all wanted me to go and see my mans…
to all you N.O.R readers, Tae’ is back in full effect. poem is posted and we keeping up with the flow. leave me some comments too, ii wanna know what yall think

“let it burn, let it burn, gotta let it burn”

Posted in blessings, car, celebrations, complaining, money, phunni moments, thoughts, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on April 11, 2008
ok, why is it that NO ONE told me that there is so much that needs to be done BEFORE i sit behind the wheel of my new vehicle. who in their right mind decided that people had to PAY to get a car inspected…are you serious?? ok and why in God’s name does some plates cost so much daggone money?? for all that, ii can make my own daggone plate and put em on the darn car. and the insurance…oh dear heavenly Father, the insurance. ok, i understand i am high risk, i know that im a first time driver, i know that im gonna want full coverage if anything ever happens to my precious lil car….but is it really worth ALL that money?? and why must i put down such an expensive down payment?? uuummm hello, im a lil on the broke side?? i just dont understand. then ii looked at the news recently and saw the gas prices….oh Jesus, you can come and take the car back for all that. me and MTA do just fine together. point is, this whole car situation is burning a major hole thru both my pockets and my damn wallet and its not really too fun. ii guess in the end it’ll be well worth it but all ii want is to get behind the wheel of MY car and DRIVE!! is that really too much to ask?? it shouldnt cost me my entire life savings to just drive a vehicle. but, ii am forever grateful to God above for opening double doors for this lil ol chick, ii prob wont be behind the wheel next week but looks like moreso the end of this month and ii can shout about that right now…hey hey hey!! sike, but seriously, despite the burn marks that have been left on my pants and the stench of no money in my pockets…all is well with me and my pockets can continue to burn if it means ill be driving MY OWN CAR in a few weeks. now, alls we gotta do is pick a name for my baby and we will be set. haha. keep praying guys.

remind me to quit…asap

Posted in church, complaining, dancing, hurt by Tanae' A. on February 5, 2008
I am absolutely convinced that my dance instructor is CRAZY out of her head lol. Seriously tho. Yesterday I was limping around all day long due to pains in my knees, hips, back, side… just pain everywhere. I was in no condition to even attempt to go to dance rehearsal but I went anyway. I thought we were going to go over what we learned last week because that was fairly easy and didnt take too much out of me. Once I got there I was so super happy to learn that I got what I had hoped for. And then my night went down down down hill. We are saving this dance for 1st sunday in march, someone forgot it was black history month. Well, I didnt forget but I was surely hoping that she would forget because God Himself knows that i HATE black history dances, especially ones that this lady makes up. We literally learned the first fourty eight seconds of this dance and now I am worse off than I was when I got there. She has recreated the lunge and I swear if I stretch my back leg any further or get any lower I am going to blow. I really dont think people know how much it takes to not only learn a dance but to also do this same dance five hundred times in two hours. It looks so pretty and nice and fun… oh no, we smile but we are in some serious pain up there. With every lunge and every spin and every dag on sashay our bodies are slowly falling apart and I just want people to think about that when they see us up there on sundays.
Sunday, I promise I was ready to truely give up and here’s why. We get dressed, sit in the back as usual and then are told that we are all starting in a squat. Okay, you try to squat and then hop up into a spin and see how you like it. Then, after doing our parts we had to squat again. And then, after this lady saying ‘im encourged’ eight hundred and sixty two times, I ran out of encouragement and needed some oxygen. Then, in addition to that we find out after service that we are going to be dancing to the choir. Okay, I love my Peggy to death but that woman knows how to stretch a song for dear life. By the time I got thru the third manifest I was ready to go. But of course, this lovely dance instructor of mines makes it known that the manifests have to be powerful “I want leaps and spins, get up off the floor. I want BIG manifests..” her words exactly. So unfortunately I end up standing right next to her and she is giving me this look like, you better leap and im running around about to collapse at the altar and pray for some new knees.
I just want the entire world to know that as soon as someone reminds me, I am quitting this mess and picking up a new profession lol. I truely pray that all my pain is ministering to someone cause if it aint, Im limping around for nothing. And as soon as my joints heal, It’ll be back to dance practice for the african dance. Just pray for me… please.

not a good night…not a good morning

Posted in complaining, drama, fighting, friends, frustrations, issues by Tanae' A. on November 14, 2007

so…im pissed. yesterday I spent the whole day getting the rest of my hair done and I swear to God that by the time I got up I was so friggin tired I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was sitting on the couch then Ashley pissed me off something serious so i hopped in the shower and got straight in the bed. her and shink really pissed me off tho cause they wanted to be up for 3 hours talking and laughing and being all loud like they had to sense… maybe they forgot that i have a job that i am required to go to… or maybe they just didn’t care. but whatever the case, it really frustrated me because i was already mad. then… at like 12:30 ashley wants to come in my room and wake me up out of my good sleep so that she can talk. someone tell me what the hell there is to talk about at 12:30 am when i have to wake up in 6 hours… i really just dont understand. but, to avoid another dumb argument i got up and talked and talked and talked and talked for 500 years ABOUT NOTHING!! granted… the first 20 minutes was relevant but the 4 hours after that was just dumb as hell. but the good thing is, in those hours that we sat up talking about nothing at all i somehow misplaced my attitude so i wasn’t mad. around 4 she rolled over to go to sleep but i was just wide awake for some reason. so i sat there for an hour and a half just watching her sleep and then i finally fell asleep and was forced to wake up at 7 this morning. although it was early and i was tired as hell, i was still happy. I woke up to a great morning…but of course something just has to steal my joy. tell me why this chick had an attitude… what for?? i have no effin clue. mind you, i just was woke up out of my sleep FOR HER to have a conversation WITH HER and then i sat up and couldn’t get back to sleep BECAUSE OF HER and she wants to wake up with the attitude… what is wrong with this world?? then this chickenhead gonna start talking some off the wall type stuff bout me like she really know me like that to make up her own lil assumptions about me. come on now, dont play yaself. so i really had to go off on her and then this big argument started and then out the blue she decides to apologize. well, shit, i wanna still be mad. she on my phone all giggly and laughing like its just a wonderful day and i really just want to smack her in her eye for saying some of the dumb stuff that she says. so now, i am sleepy, irritated, my head hurts, its raining and to top it all off… i have a frickin attitude with this chick. and the sad thing is that i was really planning on having a good day. see thats why i cant be around ppl for too long cause they start to piss me off… but maybe its true what they say:: its better to be pissed off then pissed on.

oh, and how bout after all that she gonna have the nerve to ask me if I can do her hair today… what the h do i look like?? really.

Lawd… not another birthday

Posted in beauty, birthdays, celebrations, complaining, get ya mind right, help me!!, issues, life, pain by Tanae' A. on November 8, 2007

In exactly seven days I will be celebrating my birthday. YaY me!! NOT!! On Nov. 1st I was a lil bit excited. Actually, the whole first week of Nov. I was excited, but now, I could care less. I think the entire incident with my NanaBoo kinda threw a lil hex in my excitement. But anyways, I am going to get excited very soon so that I can actually have a good weekend. But I am not looking forward to the day AFTER my birthday… why?? BECAUSE I’LL BE TWENTY!! I feel like every year I just keep getting older and older and its like I am finally not a teenager anymore and it’s depressing!! LoL!! I dont want to reach twenty, you can keep ya 21 party and please prolong 25 for as long as possible…i want to remain a teenager!! I dont really have a problem with growing up I just have a problem with getting old. I mean, I be having back aches, pains in my knees… my legs be falling asleep. By the time I hit 30 I’ll be frickin gray with atheritis all up and down my bones… I’m not ready for that yet. I gosta keep it young and on point. I mean, I do have a few good genes in the fam cause God knows my NanaBoo look good for 76 but I aint trying to be bent over backwards with cramps and muscle aches!! I wanna be 56 and still looking and FEELING great. Maybe I’m thinking too ahead of time but when I see 20 my mind thinks 50… cause thats how fast its gonna come. So I think I’ll start trying to take care of myself now so I wont have to pay later. Maybe if I start trying to eat healthy and exercise more than I wont have so many problems in ten maybe fifteen years.

Let’s pray that I can keep up cause I am the QUEEN on unhealthy!! LoL!!


pay attention to the warning signs

Posted in be the change, community, complaining, frustrations, issues, school by Tanae' A. on October 11, 2007

there was a shooting in Ohio. a kid that was suspended went to the school yesterday and shot four people before killing himself and yet again, there were warning signs. he told them what he was going to do, they complained but nothing was done. no one had time to do anything to prevent things from happening. did they think he was bluffing? well, they should’ve have known by now that anything is possible. anybody can walk up into any school, workplace or building and cause havoc. what used to be ubsurd and unheard of us becoming way too common in the world in which we live… so what do we do about it?? this could have been prevented. everything can be prevented if we do something. if people would stop being “too busy” can start caring than the down fall of a generation can be prevented. just like the principal of that school was too pre-occupied to do anything, most of us in our communities are too pre-occupied to do anything. but when it hits close to home then we cry for help. when its our own children that are in danger, then we wanna protest and do something and have a fit. look around you… there are warning signs. So, do we wait til its too late or do we do something to prevent it??

this is more than just another school shooting…

when complaining isn’t enough

Posted in blessings, complaining, decisions, frustrations, G-D, issues, right vs. wrong by Tanae' A. on October 4, 2007

I realized the other day, as I was going thru some of my posts, that I complain a lot. Either something is wrong or something is just not quit right or something could be better. Life is not perfect, there are days that nothing will go right and a few where nothing will go wrong. I complain because I chose to… I chose to whine about the issues that I have and then I do something about it. There’s always something that can be done to make something wrong right but sometimes we cant always take full control over the entire situation. Like I said, I complain because I chose to. Some days I do it because I want to vent, somedays I do it because I have nothing better to do, but other times I do it because I feel that its what I have to do at the time. I complain in order to get the results that think are appropriate and when I dont get them I complain because nothing has been done. I complain because I walk away feeling like my complaining was in vain and often times I feel like my complaining was not enough. I was always told to take control of my own situation. I was always told to do what is best at all times. And I was always told not to dig the whole that I am standing in… I think I have totally ignored all three of those little lessons in the past week. I can’t possibly take control of my own situation when its not just involving me and its WAY bigger than I am, I’ve done my part and now I no longer have a say so in it. I thought that what I was doing was the best way to handle things but apparently I was wrong. My way of doing things didn’t agree with other people’s ways so my opinion got swept under the carpet and I am upset about it. Will I get over it?? In time I will, I just never thought that I would be faced with something like this and it has kinda put me on edge a lot. Sure, I can joke about it and laugh it off but reality is that right now I am not okay and I everything is not peachy cream and I really have an attitude with everyone who made things seem like they weren’t as important as they were. And that’s my complaining for the day.

P.S. The last time I heard the words “no news is always good news” I was severly disappointed and I unfortunately heard those words again yesterday evening from my sister. We were hoping that a financial blessing would come our way and help both of us tremendously but we were forced to wait a while for an outcome. The moment she said that, I kinda knew in the pit of my stomach that things weren’t going to come thru but I still wanted to positive and all. So this morning she calls me and lets me know that we were not approved… and I wasn’t upset at all. Sure, I wish I could get it but God will make a way when we least expect it. Maybe if she would take time out to actually PRAY then He will make a way for her. Who knows… I just know that I will NEVER speak those words about anything cause I really do hate them… with a passion.