[{GRaViTY}]

shout right now on my behalf…

Posted in blessings, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on April 7, 2008
Ladies and Gentlemen of the press::
Tanae’ A. has a car!! Amen. Hallelujah!!

it aint over

Posted in AJB & AP, blessings, music by Tanae' A. on April 1, 2008
ii have never been a  huge fan of Maurette Brown Clark. there have only been a few songs of hers that ii actually like. even when AP started doing work with her, ii wasnt a big fan. perhaps thats why ii didnt take any interest in her newest cd, which ii just realized is rather old lol. ii dont listen to her music at all and usually when ii hear her voice on my radio ii turn the station. sorry, just not digging her style like that. but, sunday ii was sitting in my room thinking and ii just got this tune in my head. so i starts singing this song and ii know ii heard it before somewhere but ii dont know who sings it. after while, ii became frustrated with looking on the internet just to find who sings it and ii finally just went to the radio website. there it was…Maurette Brown Clark – It Aint Over. huh?? she sings this song?? i never woulda guessed. so im looking at the info and ii see that AJB wrote it so at this point ii wanna call him up and thank him personally for writing something that has just completely blown me away. ii have probably worn out my speakers from listening to that song so dag on much, it just speaks to my spirit in such a way that ii cant even explain. now, ii am def. going to buy this cd, which really should be about 9.99 since its so old lol… but ii really am going to spend however much it costs just to get this album and put that track on repeat…

because there’s always tomorrow…

so, of course, my weekends never turn out how ii want them to but ii must say that saturday was awesome!! ii didnt even bother waking up to go look for a car cause ii didnt feel like being disappointed. so, everything was cool with that one. we left the house around 12:30 after the very very GREAT news!! we had so much fun!! we ate, went to the aquarium, and even climbed all the steps to get to federal hill lolzz. by the end of the day, my feet were hurting, ii was tired and ready to go to sleep. needless to say, after the great day the drama began and the night was terrible. we got back around 9:30 and from midnight to around 5:30 am ii was up mad upset frustrated and sleepy as hell. after all the drama was over, ii felt like crap, my head was hurting from crying so darn much and ii still hadn’t been to sleep but there was no point cause ii would be forced to wake up anyway. ii got up feeling so bad, got dressed and was out the door by 9am. we were on our way to church and that was the LAST place ii wanted to be. the drive was super long but ii felt like the further we went, the further away from my problems ii was going. the more we drove, the better ii felt and by the time we got there ii was okay. the service was great, ii got the word that ii needed to hear and ii left out of there ok. we went to go eat and the food was sooo on point. by the time we got back in the car ii was knocked out for life lmao. went home, took a nap, got up, ate and watched some tv before bed. this morning ii woke up so not ready for work but ii came in here anyway. funny thing is, saturday night ii cried because ii was so pissed, hurt and just fed up but yesterday ii cried because ii knew that something better was coming and ii had something to look forward to. its not about whats going on right now, its not about the shit that is literally trying to break me down but ii know that tomorrow will be better than today and so ii always have something to look forward to…
it takes [[FAITH]] to stand but it only takes ~feet~ to walk away…
aquarium pix on flickr

a feeling i’ve felt

Posted in acceptance, blessings, him, life, lost one, love, memories, relationships, Tae', thoughts, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on March 27, 2008
yesterday ii was thinking about my life and future and all the things that ii want to happen in my life. ii took time to think about the things that ii have had the opportunity to experience, live thru and struggle with. when ii thought about it ii realized that ii am blessed. not because ii made it to where ii am or because ii have so many great things to look forward to but ii am blessed simply because ii have had the opportunity to experience what some people never have the chance to live thru. one of my really good friends said to me yesterday that most of the people in the world are on a search for REAL LOVE… almost everyone is either on a quest to find love or looking for the love they let go. when she said that, ii couldnt help but wonder which one was better?? looking for a love that you’ve never had or looking for a love that you let go. well, ii fit into one of those categories and perhaps my opinion is slightly biased but ii would have to say it is much better to look for a love you lost.
let me explain::
ii know what it is to experience true love. ii know what that feels like. ii know what its like to have someone take complete control of your heart and soul. the love that ii had was real and no one can tell me any different. when he touched me, held me, talked to me, let me lay on his shoulder, played in my hair, laughed at my jokes, sung with me, wrote me love letters, looked in my eyes…it was real. when he said he loved me, it was real and ii never ever questioned that. ii had the chance to feel that feeling that most people search a lifetime for. so, yeah, ii would much rather live trying to get that feeling back than to live without knowing what that feels like. and even if ii never feel that love again ii know in my heart that God found enough favor in me to allow me to know what its like to love and be loved. and because of that, ii have no problems if ii never feel that feeling again.

well…ii wanna make a wish too!!

if ii could make a wish, ii would wish that the stupid Make A Wish Foundation would not be taking away my sister and bestie for a whole FIVE DAYS!! if ii could make a wish, ii would wish that somehow they could have a different wish so ii could somehow be near them during this exciting time. if ii could make a wish, ii would not be staying in BALTIMORE while they go all the way across seven seas and twenty four rivers to the BAHAMAS!! maybe they should be staying IN THE COUNTRY so that ii can feel a little bit connected. but tomorrow morning EARLY AS CRAP they will be going BY LIMO to the airport to venture off to foreign lands for a very long time. actually, ii am a lil happy cause ii get some time without them and PEACE && QUIET is greatly appreciated but ii dont think ii need five days away from them. nope, five days is way too long. but, Jazzzie deserves this. she’s been thru hell and she survived so im glad that her wish came true. Big Mama and Daddy Dearest deserve this because they have been thru this with her the entire time and this is a great way to reward them for staying strong thru everything. now, shink, ii dont really know if she deserves this lol… i mean, she might deserve a great best friend award. maybe even a trip to the ocean or something like that. BUT A TRIP TO THE BAHAMAS FOR FIVE DAYS AND FOUR NIGHTS…um ii dont know if that is sufficient lmao. ii am hoping and praying that they enjoy every single second of their trip and that they return safely home with lots of gifts for me!!! lol. but um, anyways…im going on my own private trip on saturday. where to?? THE AQUARIUM!!! and of course its better than the bahamas…ii get to look at the fish, no one wants to swim with them.DuH!! lol. and ii get to sleep in my own lil bed because that is so much better than a five star hotel suite. and, my mother makes the best pancakes and id take that over free room service anyday!!! hahaha… ok. ii wont have as much fun as them but perhaps a few days with just me and the wifee is exactly what ii need so altho ii am missing them terribly already, ii know that ii am going to have fun this weekend as well. and ii get to do the honors of making the next scrap book!!
so be in prayer for them that they have loads of fun and that they remain safe this whole trip. and pray for me because ii have to drag myself out of bed at 4 am tomorrow morning just to see them off and take pix in the limo….they are lucky ii love them cause at 4 in the morning ii be just rolling over!! ii heart my besties.

a long post

this weekend was expected to be a fairly good one. happy to say, ii wasnt disappointed at all. friday ii ended up being home which was okay with me because ii needed the peace and quiet. ii thought ii would be able to sleep in on saturday but people in america think that seven thirty is a good time to txt me. by the time ten o clock hit breakfast was ready and ii was so thankful to mommy for being such a good chef lolzz. ii got a shower and prepared for my day out. [[notice ii said out and not in]] anyways, it was raining by the time my bae came over so we decided to chill out until it stopped. what do you know…it stops around four o clock so we get ourselves together to go to the movies. next thing we know the wind picks up top speed and we are stuck in the house again. so needless to say, we miss the movie and we are sitting here trying to figure out what we are going to do. then ii get a txt message saying that ii better find something to wear for church because ii had to sing. so me corey and shay decide to go to dots to find something to wear. we come back and decide to just stay in, play spades and order pizza. meek came over and we sat around until around ten thirty having a ball. meek and corey left and ii headed straight to the bed. ii didnt want to wake up sunday morning but ii knew that we had to. of course we are always late because we just wouldnt be us if we were on time lolzz. anyways, shany was to lead the first song of the day and ii was floored when she did a cross over strut around the front of the church. this girl did a dip, a few spins and ii was waiting patiently for her to rock a shoobalou but ii was disappointed lolzz. after church ii drove home and treated mommy to dinner [[understand the two verbs in that sentence… ii DROVE and ii TREATED…now you know it was a good day lol]] ii went home, took a nap and then chilled with in and the baby for a long long time lolzz. ii eventually went to sleep and woke up this morning ready for work.

ii also talked to one of my favorite people this weekend and ii was happy about that. ever since ii can remember my uncle gerald has been down for me and shay. of course, we are his favorite nieces and ii owe part of that to mommy who is his favorite sister. yeah, its good to be associated lolzz. but seriously tho, this dude has been there since day one and he is like the only male role model in my life as far as family is concerned. but, he holds a special place in my heart and ii dont really talk to him as often as ii would like to but when ii can talk to him its like a breath of fresh air. ii plan to go to go visit him in boston very soon but until ii know that he is only a phone call away. this is my heart right here…

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ok, and someone please explain to me why some Tyler Perry tickets is damn near fifty bucks. ii dont understand that at all. ii was trying to be nice and so ii told my mommy that ii would treat her to go see the Marriage Counselor but when ii looked today at the prices the numbers almost blew me away. $45.50…are they serious?? ii wish ii didnt have to pay for her to go but ii already said ii would and im a lil pissed about it especially since ii just bought them Katt Williams’ tickets. but ii aint tripin over it, ii gots the money so might as well stop complaining lol.
and ii have a slight problem…nothing huge, i said slight.  ready?? okay… WHAT THE HECK AM I GOING TO DO FOR MY TWENTY FIRST BIRTHDAY?? ii already know that im going to spend a weekend with my uncle for a weekend around that time but other than that ii want to go out somewhere. ii dont want a party or nothing like that but ii do want to have fun and enjoy myself. most likely there will be a dinner for my fam and close friends so ii can celebrate with them but i dunno about the rest of the stuff. im trying to get up out of bmore so if anyone has any ideas that you wanna toss around, let me know. this is crucial and we must start planning now so that ii can start saving up.
and…i am thanking God for my mommy’s friends because one of her peoples just opened up a shop and he is going to hook a sister up with a car in a few weeks and it already passed inspection so ii am so excited about that. everything is working itself out and now all ii have to do is pass my driving  test in two weeks and im good to go. please please please be in prayer for me. and pray that my sis gets approved for her townhouse tomorrow. im ready to make the big move~DOWNSTAIRS lmao!! haha!!

happy monday to yah!!

P.S. ii lovezz my church!!!

Happy Birthday NanaBoo

Posted in birthdays, blessings by Tanae' A. on February 1, 2008
Tomorrow is my NaNa’s birthday and I am so excited because she has come a long long way and she still sexy as shit to be twenty three hahaha!! So this weekend will be devoted to her and only her. Everyone else will come in second cause the next two days I will be catering to all my grandma’s needs just to let her know that I love her and I am so blessed to have her in my life. She is a great and wonderful and strong [[stubborn]] woman whome I love with all my heart and I just want her to know that she is my heart.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEXY SHAMOODAH!!

im a big girl now [[or at least im tryin to be]]

Posted in blessings, determination, faith, lets grow up, life, prayer, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on January 31, 2008
There’s not too much that I really want out of life fa’real. Of course, I want to be successful. I want to do a lot but I have never been the type to want a lot as far as material possessions are concerned. I know how to be content with what I got and perhaps thats because I’ve never had much anyway. Who knows. Right now, my main focus is on getting a car and going to school which I think is pretty much set in stone. In a month or two I’ll have my car [maybe even sooner than that] and in July I’ll be going to school at Sojourner-Douglas. Perhaps before the summer gets here I may even be out of my moms house but we’re gonna see about that. Pretty much, the point of this is that I’m growing up. I’m already twenty and while a part of me wishes that I could go back to sixteen I know that the age will only increase. I dont really want to grow up and do all these things but the bills on my kitchen counter remind me that I am older and am getting more responsibility. Perhaps someone could bless me with a raise..::clears throat:: lolzz
But seriously, pray for me guys. I’m trying to do a lot at one time but with a few prayers and a whole lot of faith I know that I will  be okay and every thing will work itself out. I guess it really is time to be a big girl and do some things on my own… man this sucks. IF ANYONE WANTS TO GIVE SELL ME A CAR PLEASE PLEASE LET ME KNOW BECAUSE JESUS KNOWS I NEED ONE ASAP!!!

time flies when you’re having fun…

Posted in blessings, celebrations, work by Tanae' A. on January 29, 2008
Ladies and Gentlemen… congratulate me::
I have been at my job for one year today!! On January 29, 2007 I walked into this office and began this wonderful journey. I must admit, the 9-5 thing is still killing me but I am getting used to it by the day. I just want the world around me to know that I am so super blessed to be here in this office and I am excited to see what happens in the year ahead…

the waiting process

“if its meant to be it will happen…” I hate cannot stand stuff like that. Why cant someone just tell me straight off top if stuff is “meant to be”…  well as you can tell, im a bit irritated right now but its only a lil bit. For the most part im in a really really good mood today so I guess we can start with whats got me irritated. The unknown. Plain and simple right?? Not right. The unknown is the most complicated thing in this world to deal with because its just not known…duh lolzz. But I guess theres always something that we dont know and i have learned to deal with it regardless how annoying it may be…
The past two days have been super good for me and I am literally smiling ear to ear because everything has been going soo good. On Christmas day I got into a really big altercation with my honey and I kinda brushed him off very rudely just because I was frustrated with the situation yet again. But on tuesday he actually reached out to me and since then we have been in constant communication which is absolutely amazing for us. Two days withough fighting ar arguing but actually talking about very real issues and helping one another out. It has been lovely and wonderful and great. And, I got to spend a very nice day with the besties yesterday and that only added to my excitement because there hasn’t really been any good quality time in a minute. I am also excited because I am getting to know people. I know that most times that is not always a good thing cause reality is that the people i have gotten to know are not good people but I feel good because now I know who they are and what I want to stay away from.And I feel really good because the past few days I have been taking time out to actually READ the Word of God which is really really amazing because I have been learning new things and I can feel myself getting closer to Him which is exciting. In addition to all these good things that have been happening I am also super overly happy because there is a four day weekend coming up and its a pay week so you know what that means. I get to spend time with all the people who mean something to me!!! YaY!! Tomorrow will be spent with Meek, Saturday is reserved for a ‘friend’, Sunday will be spent in church and with my fam, and Sunday night and monday will be time for the besties to spend some qt!! Isn’t that just exciting.. and I get to go to the movies… Praise Jesus!!!
Even when things aren’t how I want them to be I realize that I have so much to look forward to. Tomorrow, next week and even next year will present so many great things and now is the time to prepare for all that God has in store… im getting there guys, im growing up slowly but surely…