my life be like…

Posted in Uncategorized by Tanae' A. on March 22, 2009

ok…ii am officially convinced that ii live a crazii life. ugh…yes so true. in the past two weeks EVERYTHING has been going GREAT which is so not normal for me. we got a whole new chain of command now so im loving the change and being here is a whole lot less stressful. this weekend was super fun which ii was doubting because the senior class graduated last week. but…we managed to make a lil fun of our own before the big blood explosion broke out. ok…by the time 1230 hit ii was way to drunk to really pay attention to the chik who was dancing on some dudes shoulders (literally) perhaps she was a lil more drunk than me but who knows. all ii know is that less than an hour after midnight the whole guru section of the club was being evacuated and there she layed on the floor in a massive amount of blood. me…ii wanted to stay and watch. everyone else…wanted to stay and take pictures. needless to say we headed over to the banquet room and continued on with our night and someone handed me about two more shots of hennesey which ii TURNED DOWN!! yes…ii am responsible sometimes.lol. yesterday was spent chillin all day. ii actually found the outfit for my party and now all ii have to do is get shoes to match which is harder than ii thought because im looking for the PERFECT shoes. uugghh…yes this is going to be a struggle. totally did not go to church this morning because.well.theres no real excuse. i’ve been to two different churches since i’ve been here and ii like one more than the other. its a small church && they remind me more of COGIC but ii love it. with that said…ii have no clue why ii haven’t had the desire to go back. its weird. me && Troy haven’t talked to one another in forever… he decided to ask me a few days ago a bunch of things about my feelings but at the end of the day ii have no answers. ii dont know what happened between us but now its to the point where we cant even stand talking to one another. maybe thats bad…maybe its good. idk. ii think we tried to hard to make something work that was never meant to be but reality is…and maybe ii should feel bad about this… but ii really dont care anymore. not about him or the situation. it is what it is really. ii kinda realized last night that one of my really good friends has been interested in me for some time now. yes…thats kinda weird to me because :yang::yang: decided to reveal all his feelings for me last week. why is this a problem?? because now ii have friends who want to be more than friends and that is why things ended with all my relationships. then it makes me question…is it really not possible to be JUST friends with guys without catching feelings or wanting something extra?? idk…im not going down that road again because it all ends in heartbreak but im curious to know why EVERYONE knew that he had feelings except for me. very well…me and him are just friends and ii wouldnt dare cross that line because of some things that have happened in the past. but we all know that at the end of the day thats my mans and we gonna be friends no matter where im going. uummm…. ii think thats all. oh…ii get my orders next week so ii find out where im going after this. YaY me!! lmao. going home in two weeks and ii cant wait. for some reason im not too worried about seeing everyone and fitting everyone into my schedule. the most social thing that im doing is having my party. after that its going to be straight chill mode. hanging with my nephew…taking my god-daughter out for a day…and going to an O’s game with Jess and Delley. other than that…im chillin and figuring out how to get ALL OF MY BELONGINGS to my next duty station. this is going to be a challenge. well…until next time. stay up…be blessed. Tae’