[{GRaViTY}]

happy.sad.kinda glad.

Posted in decisions, family, friends, frustrations, issues, life, love, people I love, [[im oh so o8]] by Tanae' A. on July 18, 2008
today muh almost favorite goonie, KRiS, is coming down and ii am so so so excited. ii havent seen her in too long and we can finally have a REAL gurls night with ALL the chix. and muh goonies, JesSA, is celebrating her birthday on tuesday. ii know its so unethical to party on a tuesday night but we are going to p a R T y ! ! ! !
my lil cuzzo Sedi and their fam is going thru. the next few days are going to be hard for them but more hard on her than anyone. she’ll be okay tho. she just has to remember to trust GoD thru it all. ii know how much Jasmine meant to her. she was more than just a pet, she was a part of their family and she will be missed. Love You Miss Moo Moo lol.
my lil sis Dre is going thru right now too. she’s tryin to put on her gangsta face but ii know she’s afraid of what the outcome is going to be. ii think she feels okay knowing that she has us there to support her no matter what. she’s gonna be alright…ii believe that.
there’s a chik that ii lovezz with ALL my heart. her name is Crystal. a few years ago we became really close thru a ministry that we were trying to start. Crystal is strong. she can make it thru anything even when she thinks she cant. im praying for her. not that she gets thru, because ii know that God is already bringing her thru, but im praying that she holds on to that strength and more than that im praying that ii may be a help to her during this time.
TroyBoy ::sigh:: ii wish ii could just leave it at that. TroyBoy is leaving me. he is going to VA for a job and part of me is happy. part of me is sad. part of me just doesn’t care. happy:: because its something good for him. a new start and a clean get-away from all the craziness here. sad:: because he’s not here in b-more. so its not that simple on days that ii want to see him to just say come over lets chill. indifferent:: because we are both at a point in our lives where we are pretty much going our own seperate ways. if he were to stay in b-more ii would be leaving him behind and if ii were to stay where ii am he would be leaving me. but we both are moving forward with life and maybe one day shit will follow thru but for now we just trying to live life the best way that we can. the other day he pretty much poured his heart out to me. i’ve known how hes felt about me for some time now but when you hear the words its somehow different. ii didnt know how to tell him that ii love him too. ii didnt know how to tell him that somewhere in my heart is a space for him. maybe one day ill be able to tell him that but for now im okay with how things are.
ii talked to LeyLey the other day….so how did that go?? fairly well. how do ii feel about it?? okay ii suppose. will it happen again?? no. ii told her that she can call me before ii leave and that ii would answer just for her but if she just so happens not to call… ii wont be seeing her or talking to her EVER again and honestly…thats a relief to me. it hurts of course but ii feel good about it. ii feel that same relief for that one other person whose name ii refuse to speak out loud. ii feel like for so long ii was the one being left behind but now im not. now im the one doing the leaving and sooner or later that is going to sink in. and when it does. ill be long gone. damn.that feels super good lmao.
last thing and then im done. Nas has a new cd out as of last week. DO NOT SLEEP ON NAS. seriously. that dude is dope boy fresh. he is hottness. straight up…NAS IS A BEAST!!! cop his cd. you have got to hear it. put the carter three to the side for just a minute and let that Nas just rotate a lil bit. see if it aint realness.
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