i am a liar ~ yes me, a big ol’ fat LIAR!!!

Posted in lies, love, moving on, people I love, Uncategorized by Tanae' A. on April 23, 2008
in the past two years and some change, I have said that I do not care about James Harrison Wells II about five hundred and thirty seven THOUSAND times. well, I’m a liar!! I say that things dont affect me, I’m over him, his stupid lil girlfriend doesnt bother me, he doesn’t even matter to me anymore…LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE. I figured that maybe if I tell myself that I dont care, eventually I’ll really stop caring. well, that hasnt happened yet. I know, I know, you all are tired of reading about him and honestly im tired of thinking about him but i just cant help it. I cant get this fool out of my system. Bottom line, I love that idiot. and maybe that makes me a fool. Go ahead, shake your head, tell me how stupid I am. I DO NOT CARE!! I LOVE HIM!! Thru all the bullshit, the betrayal, the lies, the cheating, the fights, the bad times…yes, I still love him. And its not even about the good times fareal, I barely even think about that anymore, it was what it was I just cant get him out of my fricking heart. Its like…sickening. really it is. ok, I am no fan of LOVE…HATE IT!!! seriously. you can keep your story book romance, keep your mushy tears and your little fairy tale ending but its like all that doesnt matter when I see his face. I can be pissed, cause God knows that right now I could kill him but everytime I see his face and that stupid lil smile something in my heart melts, I get butterflies and junk all up in my stomach lol. So for everytime that I have ever said that I dont care or that I am walking away, I was lying. I love him way too much to ever walk away from him. But this time…I think im a lil bit serious. Right now, at this very moment, i’m gonna walk away. There’s no telling what will happen tomorrow or next week but for right now, today, im saying goodbye to him. Maybe he will gain some sense in the very near future and pay attention to WHAT THE HELL HE IS DOING but until then im walking away and this is my final goodbye. Go ahead and call my bluff right now if you chose to…yes, Jesus knows im lying. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO WALK AWAY FROM HIM WHEN I LOVE HIM SO MUCH MORE THAN I COULD EVER HATE HIM?? They say hate is love in its very worst form… I would hate him forever if it meant that i have some type of love for him somewhere in my heart. But, i’ll leave this earth with his name engraved on my soul… and THAT is not a lie. Truth is: I’ll NEVER stop loving that dude…EVER