i just want him to know…

Posted in friends, him by Tanae' A. on January 30, 2008
I look at you and I see this strong black man who stands up for what he believes. But I also see a man that’s more than willing to compromise his heart. And for what might I ask?? To have someone play you as if you are nothing more than some pawn in a game of chess. I see this wonderful person and so much depth in your eyes but I am reminded of the truth behind your stare everytime you turn away from too quickly. You fix your eyes on something else only to let me know that the man I thought you were has been invaded by a sheepish little boy whose afraid to try again. The dialogue and quiet conversation that we once shared is all but a distant memory and the small take has invaded the space between us. Its a space that continues growing wider and wider with every simple hello and four finger wave that is exchanged by two persons scarred by life. It hurts. It angers me to know that somewhere in the space lies something that could have been. Not necessarily between us but moreso within you. It angers me to know that the strength you once possessed is in the hands of some floozy who wants nothing but total control that she has already gained and called rightfully hers. But I remain slightly hopeful. One day I pray to see that strong black man when I look into your eyes and until then I’ll continue to pray you through. Because the man that I once knew was focused and stable, gripping life by its shirt tail and moving ahead as if dared to succeed. When I see that man reappear from behind the heartless shell that walks in your shoes I will rejoice. Because at that point in time, I will again have a friend.

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