giving of myself

Posted in frustrations, poetry, relationships, right vs. wrong, thoughts by Tanae' A. on November 20, 2007

A lot of times it is extremely hard for me to be this really open person. Most times I keep my feelings to myself because thats where they’re most safe. No one can ignore or dismiss my feelings when they aren’t made public therefore I prefer to keep them to myself. My feelings and emotions go into my writing. My poems capture every emotion that I feel and that has become my outlet over the years. I dont confide in people. I am easily hurt and usually the hurt that I feel comes off as anger. So when someone comes along and aint really digging the way I am…I say oh well. This is me, what you see is what you get. This secretive withdrawn person. I push people away with my attitude and I keep myself guarded at all times because the second you give someone your everything you will get hurt. I learned that the hard way. No, I’m not bitter I just know better than to make the same mistake more than once. Thats why I dont really understand why I am willing to compromise right now. For some reason I have gotten to a point where I am trying to give more of myself in order to move further and this for me is like super hard to do but I am really trying. I just wish that the one person that mattered right now could see my effort and appreciate it for what it is… stop concentrating on what is so wrong and try to look at what im struggling to do right.