get wit it or get lost

Posted in acceptance, besties, decisions, family, friends, people I love by Tanae' A. on November 16, 2007

Yesterday morning on the way to work I had a long over due conversation with my older sister India. I was hesitant about having this conversation because there are times when she can be very judgemental and that was something that I had to prepare myself for. But, to my surprise, she didn’t react how I thought she would. She, asked me questions about it and that was it. She said nothing else about the subject and she wasn’t mad at all. So I was happy. Me and Ashley are growing on one another and I dont know where this thing is going to lead but I think that the hardest thing that I would ever have to do is talk to the people that are closest to me and tell them about whats going on. My cousins know, they were out with us over the weekend so they kinda let 3 and 4 equal 10. None of them asked me any questions but they asked my brother like 500 of them which was cool. I didn’t really mind. My besties knew first. They are excited about it…  but I guess that they’re just happy cause I’m happy. And besides.. they think Ashley is a cool chick. My sisters know and eventually my older cousin will find out. Or my younger cousins will find out. And when either of them find out then my aunt is going to know. And as soon as my aunt hears something she’s going straight to my mom. So what happens then?? She asks me questions, I answer them honestly and the rest is up to her. What will she say?? Will she be angry?? Will she be accepting?? Will she love me any different or just tell me that Ashley cant stay over anymore?? I wonder those things. The people that mean the most have the most impact on me and so its those people that I want to be okay with the decision that I have decided to make. I like what Jay-Z said “this is the life I chose or rather the life that chose me.” But the important people dont just stop within my family and my friends… there are a few other people that have known me since I was 2 feet tall. People that have helped to grow me up and teach me some things and continue to be there today if only just to encourage me from time to time. Those people are important to me as well so I care about what they think. They’ll find out, one by one. They’ll put 8 and 3 together to make 15 and then they’ll start looking at me strange. Or they’ll beat around the bush with irrelevant questions when I show up in church with her sitting beside me…or maybe they’ll do nothing at all. Maybe they’ll keep their thoughts and questions to their selves because they dont know what else to say. Some of these people already know… or they think that they know but they are hoping that they are wrong. Some of the people that mean the world to me are reading this right now. But it’s okay… its okay to think what you think and to believe what you believe. Its okay to look at me funny or not know what to say. But it’s not okay to judge. It’s not okay to act as if what I chose to do is wrong. It’s not okay to say that its not okay. Either way, I’m happy and living my life and I hope that the important people can accept that for what it is and if not then oh well for you. GET WIT IT OR GET LOST!!!


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