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Running From Reality

Posted in family by Tanae' A. on November 15, 2007

My grandmother has been in the hospital for some time now. I haven’t been to see her in over a week. Of course, I have had time. I have had transportation. There are no excuses to justify why I haven’t been up there. I just dont want to deal with this right now. I keep telling myself that if I dont go I’ll forget that she’s sick. If I dont call her than I’ll forget that her speech is still slurred. If I dont ask questions than I wont know that she’s still trying to walk on her own but she just cant do it yet. Yes, I am running from reality. I am trying to ignore the fact that my grandmother had a stroke and is now in the hospital. I am trying to ignore the fact that she may not ever be the same person that she as before. I am trying to not have to deal with any of it and so to save myself a lot of hurt and pain I just have not gone to see her. But now I feel guilty. So, I am going up there today and I’ll smile like nothings wrong and I’ll hug her like she were in her living room in front of the tv. I’ll kiss her like its Sunday evening and I’ll call her sexy even tho she’s rockin some ugly hospital garments. Cause reality is that no matter what I do or how hard I try to ignore things the situation still remains the same. Whether I go up there or not she’s still going to be there in that room and she’ll stay there until they say she can leave so I might as well suck it up and go see my sexy shamoomoo!! LoL!! Besides… maybe if I can get her to crack a smile, I’ll feel better.

I trust that you guys are still praying for her…

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