cant stay focused…

Posted in Uncategorized by Tanae' A. on November 5, 2007

There is so much stuff going on right now and I am trying my hardest to remain focused on what I have to do but it’s hard. I keep thinking bout my NanaBoo and I swear, I do not want to be at work. I want to be there with her keeping her company. It’s just hard to focus on work when I know that she’s there and not doing well. I dont know what I am going to do. I dont know how I am supposed to feel but I am sad. I want her to be back to her normal self but part of me knows that it will be a while before things go back to normal [if they go back at all]. Everywhere I turn there is just something more to deal with and I am tired. I wanna just rest but I cant. Right after work I have to go up to the hospital to see her and then I have to go home and wash clothes because I wont have any other time to do it. I really was not going to not come in this morning because I didn’t sleep well at all last night. I had too much stuff on my mind to sleep. I’m trying to stay focused on what I have to do but its hard to do that.

guys please just pray for me and my whole fam right now.

im trying to trust Him…

Posted in emergencies, family, G-D, healing, help me!!, hospitals, hurt, love, people I love, when everything goes wrong by Tanae' A. on November 5, 2007

So, friday night was fun just like any other friday night. I did nothing but chill with my besties and eat sketti all night. I went to see Vicky-T for a while and she seems to be holding up pretty good. But, it was all fun… a great night. Then around 6:30am we get the call that put me in a funk. My Nana had a stroke. I dont think it registered at first, I rolled over and went back to sleep. Woke up went driving and then went to the hospital and thats when it hit me. MY NANA HAD AN EFFIN STROKE!!! It’s been hard seeing her like this. To know that there is nothing i can do. Is she going to pull thru this okay?? I think she will. but its going to be a long hard process and everyone is going to have to be strong for her.

I told myself last night, after being at the hospital practically all day, that no matter what happened I would continue to have faith in God. I’m trusting that He will bring her thru this alright and things will go back to normal but even if they dont [go back to normal] i still wanna know that He is still God. No matter what happens… he’s still faithful. And even when none of us feel like being strong anymore I trust that He’s going to be there to help strengthen us. But right now I dont need him to be my strength, or my friend, or my confidant or even my provider… right now I need him to be her healer. I am unimportant. My needs are not what matters right now… I need him to bring her some strength so that she can walk again, give her some comfort for those lonely nights in that hospital bed… give her some healing that will help her to get better really soon.

i’m trying to trust Him… I really am