[{GRaViTY}]

if I had things my way

So, a lot of times I seem to get lost in my own thoughts. Well today I was just thinking, if I had everything in my life the way I wanted it to be how would it go?? Well, this is what I came up with.

 

For starters, I would not change anything that happened before Dec 2005. And really I wouldn’t change to much that happened after Dec. 2005 either, so here’s what I would change. I would change the fact that I ever became friends with, dated, or fell in love with James. Thats it. How lovely. Now let me explain before someone gets the wrong idea. If I had my way, I would take all of those happenings out of Dec 2005 and graciously move them to Dec. 2009. And you all are wondering why… the reason is quite simple really, in 2009 there will be no school. He would be completely through with school. So it would save me a lot of heartache and headache and I would be actually happy with him. And simply because James would not be in the picture I would have the opportunity to take things a lil further with this other dude without feeling completely bad about it. But since I cant change the past… this is what I would have happen in the future.

 

I think, well I know, that the first three things that I would have happen if I had my way is… 1. I would get a big fat check somewhere in the mail and I would use that to pay off the one bill that I have left, register for college and purchase the car that I have to wait until february to get. 2. I would have all of my poems somewhat close to being published and 3. I would give the youth ministry cpr and miraculously bring it back to life so that I can deal with all the stresses of keeping it well and kicking.

 

After that, I would go back to school, get a promotion [maybe that is asking a bit to much but that is what i would have happen], make enough money to make sure that my mother wasn’t struggling, fix up the big house from top to bottom and move out of my mom’s house… all in a year. And in 2009 I would be ready to transfer to a university [because i would have worked just that hard to get a two year program completed in one], I would have ridded my life of all the people that were nothing but distractions [all of whom are of the male sex for some reason, but that is neither here nor there], I would have started from scratch a healthy relationship with my honey, and I would be well on my way to success because by the middle of 2009 I would be expecting my 2nd promotion which includes a darn good raise and some major benefits, and I would be able to take a vacation to wherever I want and not have to worry about money, and I would be able to send my mother on a vacation to anywhere that she wanted to go for however long she wanted to go and there would be nothing she had to worry about except what she’s going to pack.

 

By the time 2013 hit I would plan to be married with two kids with a good paying job that allows me to spend time with my children and still be able to live comfortably. I want a nice house with a big back yard and front yard. I want two dogs, one for me and one for him. I want a playground in the back. I want one of those couch looking things that swing on my front porch and I want my own private bathroom in my room. I want a family day once a month to talk and eat and laugh and play with my kids and my husband. I want my mom to be happy and financially stable. By then I would have moved my NaNa somewhere, anywhere and I would be taking care of all her expenses. I would be making sure that my lil cousins are in college and doing their best and I will have coffee and bagels every saturday morning with my besties. And a girls night once a month and we’ll stay in and have drinks and lay around with our phones turned off and we’ll talk like we were back in high school, about boys and issues and there would be no thoughts of family or money or men or house cleaning or washing clothes or none of the other grown up stuff that we have to do every other day of our lives. I would go on a vacation once every three months, just me and my honey, and we would enjoy each others company and just have fun like back when we were dating. And last but not least… I would be happy. I would have a family and an education and a job and some damn good friends and I would be happy. I would want to wake up every morning and I would have a smile on my face every night and I would be happy.

 

If I could plan my life, thats what I would do. All those simple things is what I would expect. And sure, there would be some issues in between but I would be content with the smile that I had shining every single day. I would be blessed beyond abundance and joyful just because I am alive and surrounded by all the people I love the most.

 

Thats how my life would go if I had things my way…

Advertisements

muh Go0n!3 4 lyfe!!

Posted in friends, girls night, good times, Jessa, Luvli Ladiez, people I love, weekend by Tanae' A. on October 24, 2007

LoL!! What can be said about Jessa?? She is mean and retarded and stubborn and crazy and I love her!! She is my chica 4 life and the hard ass of them all. She is who she is and there is no changing her. She is always there on those boring friday nights and she is my picture provider!! LoL!! She is always there to share in a good laugh or give that retarded laugh that pisses me off. She is always up for a good game of 5000 or spades and she always beats me! She is the trash talker of the year and the retard of the century. I love her because she is always there. She gets on my nerves half the time and she’s a lil weird but I love her for ever. She is my chick, my dogg, my luvli ladi, my goonie and my homegirl and without her our weekends would not be the same.

She makes our circle complete.

she’s my bestie

Posted in cancer sucks, family, friends, growth, healing, Jasmine, Luvli Ladiez, people I love by Tanae' A. on October 24, 2007

okay.. so I’m way out of order but I decided I would wait til India’s birthday to write about her and her son… so tomorrow you will read about them.

My Jazzy Girl.. what can be said about her?? She is like my sister and we have been thru the worlds most stuff in the time that we have been friends. We have fought and laughed and cried and cursed each other out. We have gotten in tons of trouble together and we have grown together and there is nothing that she cannot do. She has fought thru every thing that life has thrown at her and she has come out more stronger and more beautiful then she has ever been. I love her to death because of the person that she is but most of all because of the strength that she has. When I am weak I can count on her to be there and she always pulls thru. She has one hell of a testimony and thru everything her faith in God has increased tremendously. Sure, she has her shortcomings and she faces her issues but she is such a better person because of everything that she has had to endure. We argue and we get on each others nerves but nothing or no one can break our bond. I love this chick more than words can say and I would graciously lay down my life for her. There are not too many people that I can honestly say are my friends but I can count her in. She has been there, thru the good the bad and the indifferent and she will always be there. Her family is my family and my family is hers… no one will ever take her place in my life and nothing can take her out of my heart. She can be bossy and sometimes she can even be a b**ch but she’s my bestie and I love her tremendously!!

Up next is Jessa… she’s my #1 Go0n13