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Forgiveness

Posted in back to the past, forgiveness, hurt, people I love by Tanae' A. on October 15, 2007

Today is a rough day. A lot of things are going thru my mind and it all revolves around forgiveness. I have been told plenty of times in the past that the hardest thing to do is to forgive someone that has hurt you. I beg to differ. I think that holding a grudge is harder for me because its takes so much out of me. I’d rather just get over it, let it ride and continue on with my day. Resentment eats away at your core… the more you hold onto it the more you hurt yourself. The hardest thing, i think, when it comes to forgiveness is forgiving yourself. The easy stuff is easy to forget. Oh, I did this, that and the other and I told myself that I wouldn’t do it… its cool, I learned from that mistake and moved on. I said this to this person, I apologized… no biggie, I now know what not to say. Simple things are always easy to forgive. But what about the big things that started out as little things that just went out of control. What about the stuff that affected everyone in some type way. What about the stuff that you allowed to get completely out of hand… how do you forget that stuff?? How do you forgive yourself after you have hurt so many people? It’s the big things that I hold on to. I know what I have to do in order to forgive myself but I must look at the situation as a whole. Who would be affected by need to for some peace? Who would be hurt even more?? I think we all go thru life and we all have that one thing that eats at us and we just dont know how to shake it. Well, this one thing is just going to have to eat away at my core until there is nothing else there because there are some things that I refuse to do. My mom always told me that whats done in the dark will always be revealed in the light and that is really the only thing that scares me but at the same time… thats almost like the moment that I will be waiting for forever. I just cant do something to hurt the people that mean most to me only to be able to find comfort in my own reflection.

living in resentment… Tae’

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