some things dont get a price tag

Posted in Uncategorized by Tanae' A. on October 15, 2007

This past weekend I learned nothing. I really didn’t learn any lessons and I am really happy about it. I had fun, I enjoyed myself, I relaxed, I hung out, I slept in, I HAD FUN.. && I deserved every minute of fun that I experienced.

I honestly thought that Friday was going to be the worst day ever because two of the gurls were beefing over something minor and it was really affecting everyone. By the time 6:30 hit I just wanted to take my driving test and go home to my peaceful room. Of course, we had made plans an entire century ago to have a gurls night so everyone ended up getting theirselves together so we could at least try to enjoy the night. Once we all got to the house there was a lot of tension in the air. No one really wanted to be there and everyone had an attitude for a different reason but a few laughs and a few hours later that was all in the past. We were playing cards, laughing, dancing, singing, taking pictures, and making memories. No one was focused on what we were mad about… I honestly think that we had forgotten that we were mad at each other by that point and we just wanted to enjoy each others company. Eventually we all went to sleep and woke up the next morning well refreshed. We cooked pancakes and then sat around watching tv, taking naps, and playing cards. Laverne made the best sloppy joe’s that I have ever had in all my life and then we left to go to the dance festival which was hilarious!!

By the time I got home I had an attitude with Troy who was bothering me beyond belief. I was pissed with my cousins for acting like idiots and I was frustrated with my mother for constantly saying that we were not going to be able to see the movie because it was going to be sold out. We got to the movies and to my surprise it wasn’t sold out yet and we were so super excited. We waited for what seemed like a century for them to let us into the theatre and we were the first ones in there so we got some banging seats. The movies was spectacular… it was so good that I wanted to go see it again on Sunday. It was funny and honest and real and emotional… it was just all around great. And I am happy that it ended up being number 1 even tho so many people under estimated Tyler’s skills.

By the time Sunday morning hit, the last thing that I wanted to do was get up and get dressed. I just wanted to sit in my bed all day long and do absolutely nothing but I knew that if I didn’t get up my grandmother would be very upset with me. So I hurried to get out of bed, I threw clothes around my room trying to find something comfy to wear and eventually I was dressed and ready to go. I got to her church and I didn’t want to be there. The sermon was good and the service was even half way descent but I really wanted to go back home. We said the benediction and then we sat down to eat the best food that I have had since Thanksgiving.  We had baked macaroni and cheese, string beans, candied yams, baked chicken, bar-be-que chicken, friend chicken, ham, and some fresh rolls to top it all off. Might I add that these good church folks wasn’t stingy wit the food either… they gave us huge helpings and then asked us if we wanted seconds thirds and even a plate to take home. I said I didn’t want anymore but I deeply regretted it because only God knows how good a plate would have been for lunch. Anyways… I went home and layed down for what was supposed to be and hour. I ended up sleeping til about 7:30 and was a lil upset cause I didn’t get the chance to go to my besties house with Shay. It was cool tho. I fooled around on my computer a bit, downloaded some music to my audio player and then I went to bed for the night. I woke up this morning super late. I rushed to get dressed and made it to work at a good time. I have been sitting here all day at this computer doing work and I just finished putting away a huge stack of files. And because all of us got our files put away in a timely matter, we all get to leave for a half day on tomorrow or wednesday… now how great is that.

Some things in this life you just cant put a price on… like getting a 94 on my driving test, or spending a night with my besties, or watching the best fight ever and still not knowing what caused it, or enjoying my two hours at a dance festival and knowing that there was no where else I would rather be at that time, or having a late night conversation with my honey only to hear him say that he misses ne no matter how true or false it may be, or sitting in a living room with my cousins and laughing at their foolishness that makes them who they are, or watching some ladies from a shelter stand up and give God praise just for the cheap clothes that they have on and the spot that they have to sleep in at night, or sitting in a theatre watching a movie that had me laughing the whole way thru, or just simply watching my nephew crawl around upstairs going from room to room at top speed and waiting patiently for the day that he decides to walk. Those are things that we cant put a price tag on. Nothing in the world amounts to that. This world may not be filled with happiness and every single day of my life may not be filled with smiles but I know that those little moments are what get me thru the tough times that I encounter. Those little moments are what bring me joy


Posted in back to the past, forgiveness, hurt, people I love by Tanae' A. on October 15, 2007

Today is a rough day. A lot of things are going thru my mind and it all revolves around forgiveness. I have been told plenty of times in the past that the hardest thing to do is to forgive someone that has hurt you. I beg to differ. I think that holding a grudge is harder for me because its takes so much out of me. I’d rather just get over it, let it ride and continue on with my day. Resentment eats away at your core… the more you hold onto it the more you hurt yourself. The hardest thing, i think, when it comes to forgiveness is forgiving yourself. The easy stuff is easy to forget. Oh, I did this, that and the other and I told myself that I wouldn’t do it… its cool, I learned from that mistake and moved on. I said this to this person, I apologized… no biggie, I now know what not to say. Simple things are always easy to forgive. But what about the big things that started out as little things that just went out of control. What about the stuff that affected everyone in some type way. What about the stuff that you allowed to get completely out of hand… how do you forget that stuff?? How do you forgive yourself after you have hurt so many people? It’s the big things that I hold on to. I know what I have to do in order to forgive myself but I must look at the situation as a whole. Who would be affected by need to for some peace? Who would be hurt even more?? I think we all go thru life and we all have that one thing that eats at us and we just dont know how to shake it. Well, this one thing is just going to have to eat away at my core until there is nothing else there because there are some things that I refuse to do. My mom always told me that whats done in the dark will always be revealed in the light and that is really the only thing that scares me but at the same time… thats almost like the moment that I will be waiting for forever. I just cant do something to hurt the people that mean most to me only to be able to find comfort in my own reflection.

living in resentment… Tae’