i dont want to know

Posted in frustrations by Tanae' A. on August 29, 2007

i sometimes wish that things in life were way more simple. everything seems to be so complex to the point where nothing can just be… everything has a reason or a theory behind it or there is some type of justification needed. i hate explanations, they mean nothing. if everything just was the way it was because thats the way it wanted to be there would be no issues in this life. i dont want to know the reasoning behind every little thing… excuses do nothing but waste valuable time.

yesterday evening i was talking to a person who i dont know very well. turns out, he knows my honey and so he decided to introduce hisself since they were cool. in our conversation a lot of things came up that i really didn’t want to discuss with him or anyone else for that matter but it seemed like i really didn’t have a choice in the matter. he told me a lot of stuff that i didn’t really want to hear and the more i listened to more frustrated i became. i wanted to yell at him and punch him and tell him to stop telling me these things that i cant do anything about but he was only on the other end of the phone… too far out of my reach.

when the conversation was over i decided that the best thing to do would be not to call up my honey and ask him anything. i knew that there was some truth to what i was told and there was really no need for clarity. there is really no need for an explanation either. what’s done is done and what happens is what happens and there is really nothing that can be done to change that at all. i have learned to accept the fact that i will not approve of nor appreciate everything that happens between us but there is nothing that can be done to change any of it so why waste valuable time thinking about it or getting upset about it.

so i want it to be known that i could care less what happens at otterbein college. to all of his friends, his family, and those that talk to him way more than me, please keep your stories, i do not wish to be entertained. I do not prefer to know about things that i can do nothing about because all its going to do is piss me off. i dont want to talk to him and no, i dont want to visit. i dont want you to tell me if there are other girls because thats not going to change the situation any. im stuck here and he’s stuck there and at the end of the day nothing that either of does should matter. let him live his life without me knowing about what he does every second of every day… after all, i do have my own life to be concerned about. Thanks so much.

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