we’re NOT in this together…

Since I can remember, I have never done too much of anything on my own. There’s always someone there with me, in it for the long haul. But, I guess now things have changed. For once in my entire life I’m forced to do some things on my own and I am pissed about it. Sometimes you never think that you would be standing alone at certain points in your life. But I guess somethings we just have to deal with on our own. I dont want to do this by myself. I dont want to be left out of something only to have to tackle it by myself later. We’re supposed to be in this thing together and now you two wanna do things on your own and leave me standing here looking stupid. But, it’s okay because you always stand behind the one you leave behind.

Maybe this is just a journey that I need to go on by myself. Maybe this is time that I need to sit back and really just take time out to get things done alone. I wrote a post a lil while ago about being alone. It suggested that even when we are alone we’re not really lonely because we have people in our hearts that keep us company even when it seems as tho we are by ourselves. I want to delete that post right now because I’m not alone but I feel very lonely at this point in my life. Despite all the people around me that are there to help me I still feel like I have no choice but to go through the next chapter in my life, on my own. I’m lonely and I think that I’m supposed to be.

I’m just pissed because someone that is supposed to be there is leaving me in the background to do things on my own and its not right. Would I be pissed if it were anyone but her?? No, I wouldn’t. But it is her and I am mad and angry and she knows it. Or maybe I’m just overly sensitive because I’m going thru a lot right now. Who knows, I just know that right now I wanna be mad so I’ll be mad for as long as I feel like being mad.