we’re NOT in this together…

Posted in decisions, family, friends, frustrations, hurt, issues, Jasmine, life, lonliness, people I love, seperation, Shink, Tae' by Tanae' A. on August 15, 2007

Since I can remember, I have never done too much of anything on my own. There’s always someone there with me, in it for the long haul. But, I guess now things have changed. For once in my entire life I’m forced to do some things on my own and I am pissed about it. Sometimes you never think that you would be standing alone at certain points in your life. But I guess somethings we just have to deal with on our own. I dont want to do this by myself. I dont want to be left out of something only to have to tackle it by myself later. We’re supposed to be in this thing together and now you two wanna do things on your own and leave me standing here looking stupid. But, it’s okay because you always stand behind the one you leave behind.

Maybe this is just a journey that I need to go on by myself. Maybe this is time that I need to sit back and really just take time out to get things done alone. I wrote a post a lil while ago about being alone. It suggested that even when we are alone we’re not really lonely because we have people in our hearts that keep us company even when it seems as tho we are by ourselves. I want to delete that post right now because I’m not alone but I feel very lonely at this point in my life. Despite all the people around me that are there to help me I still feel like I have no choice but to go through the next chapter in my life, on my own. I’m lonely and I think that I’m supposed to be.

I’m just pissed because someone that is supposed to be there is leaving me in the background to do things on my own and its not right. Would I be pissed if it were anyone but her?? No, I wouldn’t. But it is her and I am mad and angry and she knows it. Or maybe I’m just overly sensitive because I’m going thru a lot right now. Who knows, I just know that right now I wanna be mad so I’ll be mad for as long as I feel like being mad.

people i am proud of

Posted in be the change, change the world, growth, Jasmine, life, people I love, work by Tanae' A. on August 15, 2007

There are a lot of people right now that are really just doing their thing and I must put them out there and let them know how proud i am of them.

Here we go::

JazzyGurl:: My gurl Jaz was being home schooled for a year because she was going thru kemo and radiation but she is officially enrolled in school again and this year she will be GRADUATING!! I am so proud of her because she has really come a long way and she has big goals!!

KPC:: Yes yall, it’s my mommy. She is doing really good in this new business and she is well on her way to success… like she say…we bout to be BALLING!! LoL!! I smell the money mama!! The hard work will pay off… trust.

Phil:: My brother is coming back to Baltimore but this time I think he really has his head on straight. He is saving up money, trying to get a place and for once in my life I really see him trying to do something better with hisself. I’m hoping and praying that I’m not wrong about this one… but I got that gut feeling that this is going to work out for the best.

My HebHeb:: Well, aside from all the wonderful, fantastic things that this man does everyday I am absolutely proud of him because this past Sunday, he did his first baptism!! I was like so excited to see him up there.. so I cant even imagine how it must feel to be in his shoes.

Mrs. Brown:: I must say that it cannot be an easy task to stand beside such a great and wonderful man such as Heb. I def. have to send major kudos her way for that one… besides, she makes HebHeb mushy!! LoL!!

Shay:: My homegirl Shay is finally on her grind. She just started a really good job and her and her boo are trying to do big things… It’s been 7 years now, I’m still waiting on them wedding bells!! LoL!! But, she’s doing good and I am so proud of her for taking a stand on her own and really growing to be the woman that God is calling her to be.

MoMo:: The past month or so has been rough on my lil sis Morgan but I see growth in her that I wasn’t expecting to see this soon. She has her head on straight again and she is focused on the things that matter. A lot of people try to label her something that she is not and hopefully her actions will prove them wrong, but even if they dont, I am very proud of her and I know that she’s on her way to becoming a beautiful respectable talented young lady.

Last but certainly not least,

Angela Braden::  Yes, it’s correct. I am proud of Angie. She takes time out everyday to let people, strangers, peak into a part of her life that she could keep very private. Everyday that she posts something on her blog, she inspires someone somewhere and because of that I am proud of her. She lives a life that speaks wonders and she has not short handed herself by drowning in her sorrows. She has accepted the life that God has designed for her and lived it completely to the maz and I am completely inspired to do more just because everyday she gets up, gets dressed, goes to work, and actually LIVES and thats something I can say for a lot of people that do have their sight. Kudos to you, Angie.

All of these people have positively impacted my life in some kind of way but more than that, they impact other peoples lives every day. I love all of them dearly and I learn something from at least one of them everyday. So, to them I say, Continue on the path that you are going. You are destined for greatness.

Everyone has someone that pushes them to do more… and these are the few people in my life that make me want so much more out of my life… not just for me, but for the people that I can inspire a long the way.

watch what you do

Posted in friends, life by Tanae' A. on August 15, 2007

Yesterday I found myself thinking about a friend that I have recently gained. I ended up contacting him just to make sure that he was doing well because it had been a few weeks since I last heard from him. I think for a while, he will be my example. A lot of times in this life we try to get everything that it is that we want and in the process we hurt people that we love and care about. We dismiss people’s feelings and worry about our own but at the end of the day, karma will always come back to get you. When you play with someone’s emotions for too long eventually they will get fed-up and just walk away and then you will be left standing on the sidelines hurt because everything that you ever had is now gone because you didn’t aprpeciate it. Needless to say, my friend is now lonely. He lost a girl that he loved a whole lot. He still has some valuable friendships and a family to die for but will he ever get the chance to get that one person back?? The one person that loved him inspite of all his flaws, she dealt with his nonsense, put up with his lies, and stuck with him thru thick and thin. And now she’s gone because she got tired. Do I feel sorry for him?? I do. He’s a great guy and I love him dearly and it’s sad to see him down. Do I think he deserved what he got?? Yeah, he’s hurt a lot of people in his life and finally it has all caught up with him. But I still wish the best for him. I hope that he finds love after learning from his mistake. And even if he doesn’t get back with the one that walked away, maybe he’ll end up better off with the friend that he knows loves and cares for him more than words can say.

In this life, we all will have things that we want to get. Things we want to achieve. DONT EVER WALK OVER SOMEBODY IN ORDER TO GET WHAT YOU WANT. There comes a time in your life where things will no longer be handed to you. Sometimes you have to work for the things that you really want, whether its something as simple as a girl or a million dollar house. Nothing in this world is free so be careful and watch yourself. And be careful who’s feet you step on because they could very well be the people that you need at the end of the day.