Posted in be the change, check ya flesh by Tanae' A. on July 9, 2007

You never really know a person until the s**t hits the fan. You think you know people and you really dont. You think you know yourself and you really dont. It’s cool to stay mellow when everything around you is on chills but the true test comes when something really goes down. Right now, I wouldn’t say that there is a lot of drama but there is a lot of things that need to be dealt with as soon as possible. One thing that I learned about myself this weekend is that I am def. changing for the better. Yesterday I was confronted about something and a lil bit ago I probably would’ve told homegurl about herself, hurt her feelins, and kept right on moving. But instead I took time out to listen to what she had to say. I responded respectfully and let her know that I also had a few issues with her that I would discuss at a later date when we had more time. I walked away content and she walked away with an attitude. I think I know why. Everyone got used to me reacting to certain things in a negative way. People prepare themselves before they come talk to me because they know that I’ll say something rude. Yesterday, I didnt do that and it shocked her. I dont know why I didnt go off on her, I dont even really like this chick that much to come at her correct after she came to me how she did. But something in me didn’t feel the need to get defensive. I just sat there, said what I had to say, and I even thanked her for coming at me with whatever issues she had. And from then on she mugged me like crazy but I didnt even get mad about that. I just laughed it off and let it be known that we would get everything out in the clear very soon. I thought it funny because someone that knows me very well even told homegurl not to step to me anyway because I really wouldnt care and her feelings would be hurt. Was he right?? Yeah he was. I didnt care, well I at least didn’t care about the situation at hand. I cared more about the simple fact that there was tension between us and until that gets settled there is no place for either one of us in ministry together. You cant have alto’s just singing off key cause the sopranos pissed you off… that aint right. Did I piss her off?? Yeah I did.. unintentionally. Did I hurt her feelings?? Yeah I did… it was funny but I didnt mean to. Quiet as its kept, I dont dislike this person, we have been cool for a minute now and I haven’t had any problems with her up until about a month ago. I just happen to dislike some of her ways and thats pretty much it. But overall she’s cool as long as we come to some sort of compromise. But I think more than anything, I shocked the hell outta myself on yesterday because I didn’t wild her out. Like 4 people came up to me and asked why I was so calm about it. Thats upset me more than anything. People know me [and my sister] as the twins who just pipe up real big soon as something go down. We’ll be the first ones to tell you about yourself and wont think twice about it. But I’m changing and I want people to see that. So instead of people having to prepare themselves before they say anything to me I want them to know that no matter what the situation I’m going to respond with respect. Am I perfect?? Far from it. Will every conversation from here on out go the way it did yesterday?? I doubt it very seriously. But I am trying to get better in that area. I’m sure that I’ll have my moments where I will revert back to the old ways and wild somebody out but I’m striving for excellence and excellent people dont just pipe up real big when someone tries to talk to them.

Keep Praying



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