Frustrated beyond belief

Last night, when I wwas supposed to be in the bed catching up on some much needed sleep, I was up chatting with someone that I haven’t spoken to in a very long time. Back in the day she was like a lil cousin to me and we was bout thick as thieves. She stayed over my house too many times and me and my sister would try to make sure she was doing the right thing. Eventually she moved and since then I have seen her at most about 4 times in the past 2 1/2 years. Everytime I see her I get this happysad type feeling. She was no longer surrounded by people who wanted to see the best for her. She had moved away from her support system and I blamed her mother and I still do. I just wish that there was more that I could’ve done while she was around. Around 1am this morning she sent me a message letting me know so matter of factly that she now has a baby girl who is one month old. This little girl is 15. Her baby father is 20. I want to know whats wrong?? I think part of me knew that this would happen but I never thought so soon. All three of her older sisters had babies out of wedlock. Two of them were still in high school. Her mother had a baby almost 3 years ago out of wedlock. I want to know what is wrong?? Is this what we must deal with?? Our babies are following in the footsteps of those who have set a negative example and now they are having babies that they’re not even old enough to puch out. I’m frustrated… hurt.. and disappointed. I feel compelled to do something but what can I do?? How can I save a dying generation. The homicide rate is sky high and we look around and dont even see that we pulling the trigger on ourselves. When is enough going to be enough?? When are we going to do something to save our kids?? Help.

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  1. Heber Brown, III said, on June 19, 2007 at 4:17 pm

    There certainly are times when one can feel overwhelmed by what seems to be the downward death spiral of the younger generations. While some attempt to over-spiritualize situations like these by writing them off as only “generational curses” – we must unpack the pattern of poor decisions and attempt to block its passage to the next cohort of family members. Furthermore, as your post indicates, parents and other concerned adults bear the weight of setting a godly example for the youth. As Titus 2: 1-8 suggests; the elders bear the responsibility of teaching those who are coming behind the ways in which they should go. The youth are taught more by what is done and less by what is said. So if Mama by her actions gives license for this type of behavior then it’s not surprising that Mama’s children follow in her footsteps.

    Finally, as the adults do bear the majority of the responsibility; young people also have responsibility when they come to an age of understanding. At some point, young people must realize that their parents (or guardians) are not perfect and have their flaws. Once those flaws are identified it becomes the young person’s responsibility to avoid making the same mistakes that Mama or Daddy did.

  2. Tanae said, on June 19, 2007 at 6:38 pm


    I agree with what you said to a certain extent. Growing up in a household where this type of behavior is consistant cannot be good for the child. There was no one there to step up and say that this was wrong or to even change what was going on so how does a 14 year old girl step up and really go against that which her family has basically taught her. I do not place all the blame on those around her because I realize that she is smart enough to make her own decisions but she has been conditioned. Notice, I never said I was shocked by the news that I heard last night. I, just like everyone around her, knew that it was only a matter of time. What I struggle with is not only her age but also the fact that no one in this household INCLUDING THE MOTHER has sense enough to step up and put a stop to this nonsense. This little girl will have at least 3 kids by the time she turns 21 and that’s what saddens me.

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