Posted in life, lonliness by Tanae' A. on June 13, 2007

One thing that I have always liked is being alone. Notice I did not say the feeling of aloneness which I absolutely hate. Even when I am alone I dont always feel alone and at the same time when I am in a room full of people I can feel like I am all by myself. I always look to time by myself as a good time to think about life and reflect on a lot of things that I otherwise would not have time to think about. But for some reason, lately, I feel like I’ve been walking through life by myself. There are people all around me but I still feel lonely and I dont know why. I know I have family and friends that are around but I still feel like I’m going through every day solo. I dont know yet if I like this feeling or not. Of course, we all want someone to be in our corner at some point in time but once the weirdness of this leaves I wonder if I’ll actually like being by myself. There’s nothing wrong with it. I think I need a lot of time to really focus on my life and the direction that it’s going in but I dont like, and never have liked, the feeling of being completely by myself. I dont know, maybe I should pray about it… and maybe I should embrace it. All I know is that right now I feel soo alone and it’s weirding me out.