Opinions Needed…

Posted in differences, freedom, life by Tanae' A. on June 12, 2007

I have a friend that I used to go to school with a while ago. This guy has been in church all his life. He is a faithful Christian, lives a godly life, sets a great example for his little brothers and sisters as well as his peers. He doesn’t drink, smoke, engage in premarital sex or curse. He will be graduating from college in two years and has maintained a steady 3.8 g.p.a. He is very active in his church, sings on the choir, directs the childrens choir, has completed discipleship and attends bible study regularly. He respects his elders and even does community service at an outreach center. But there’s one problem… He’s gay.

Does his sexual preference automatically erase everything that I have said about him?? Is he going to hell because of who he has fallen in love with?? Is it okay for him to be in an open relationship with his dude and not be ashamed even in the church?? I want to know what everyone thinks about this… so comment.

5 Responses

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  1. Ricky Price said, on June 13, 2007 at 1:44 pm

    I ran into your blog through tag surfing and I thought it was a really interesting post and a very thoughtful question. Homosexuality and Christianity are not at all incompatible. I’m no expert so I’d urge you to check out some of the many GLBTQ Churches that exist in America. The Largest is the Metropolitan Community Church: http://www.mccchurch.org//AM/Template.cfm?Section=Home

    Personally, I thank you for reaching out and trying to understand, rather than rushing to judgment. That shows real wisdom.

  2. chasing shadows again said, on June 14, 2007 at 11:20 pm

    […] again {June 14, 2007}   Hello Universe, if you have a minute— —please stop by and answer this question from Tanae, concerning sexuality and religion, and a gray area where they intersect. Question […]

  3. Molli said, on June 14, 2007 at 11:45 pm

    Hi Tanae,

    I came by this post via Fox’s post. While I was brought up in the Christian tradition, I have…um…”issues” 🙂 To me, if a person leads a good life, non-harmful to themselves or others, as your friend clearly does, I don’t see how his sexual preferences can be relevant. Yes, I know, the scriptures.. and that is where my issues come in! According to the Old Testament, it’s perfectly okay to sell your wife and children into slavery, it’s expected that one washes anything a menstruating woman has had the temerity to come into contact with, it’s quite okay to stone people to death who break the Sabbath or utilise goods made from two different animal products. See where I’m going with this? 🙂 Your friend sounds like a truly wonderful human being and I find it incredibly sad that a large number of people cite their relgion as a serious balck mark against him. Not only is your friend not harming anyone, he sounds like an absolute saint! For a religion purporting to ask tolerance and compassion of its followers, to hold his sexuality against him as a ‘sin’ seems the antithesis of such preaching.

    After all of that, all I can truly say is that I wish your friend well – he not only deserves ‘the best’ simply because he’s a fellow human being – he deserves it because, from what you’ve written, he’s earned that respect and good fortune.

    ~ Molli

  4. Jacquelyn said, on June 16, 2007 at 2:45 am

    You listed the faithful qualities of your friend and then said, “The only problem is that he is gay.” His being gay is not a problem; it is simply one more part of who he is. It is a problem, indeed, for those who are locked in a mindset that does not understand sexual orientation. Unfortunately, many in the Christian faith have used scripture in destructive ways to support racism, sexism, sexual abuse, violence, and heterosexism. When we understand the historical context of particular parts of scripture, and the culture in which it was written, we are then able to place the texts that have been used to condemn gay and lesbian people in their proper perspective. It is important to remember, for instance, that there was no concept of ‘homosexuality’ either in the time of Leviticus or in the time of the Letter to the Romans or any of the Epistles. If your Bible uses the word ‘homosexual’ it is an incorrect translation (or no translation at all — more likely a paraphrase with an agenda). There was no concept of sexual orientation; rather everyone was assumed to be heterosexual. Sexual acts between persons of the same gender were understood in the context of cultic prostitution or rape as an act of power. There seems to have been no concept of: a.) people whose natural orientation was homosexual and b.) loving, committed relationship.

    Most important for Christians is the fact that this issue is never mentioned in any way by Jesus or by any of the gospel writers. Jesus only speaks of an ethic of love. Therefore all our decisions around this issue must be made in light of Jesus’ ethic of love.

    As pastor of a congregation of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) for the past 25 years, I have witnessed the marvelous movement of God’s grace that has allowed so many individuals, congregations, and agencies of the church to participate in an ever deepening and prayerful study of scripture. The Church is listening to God’s Spirit and coming to the point of confessing the sin of our centuries of oppression of gay and lesbian people, just as we were sinful in our support of slavery, and the oppression of women.

    Many congregation’s and Church bodies are using a wonderful resource for study of this topic. I highly recommend it. The book is Listening to the Spirit: A Handbook for Discernment. Willima Paulsell, editor. Chalice Press, St. Louis, Missouri. 2001. The primary question of the study is: “What is the Gospel message to our Church as we relate to Gay and Lesbian Christians?” You might want to visit our congregations website: comptonheights.com

  5. Jeremy Thomas said, on June 17, 2007 at 11:01 pm

    I was directed to this most excellent question thanks to our Fox’s post. I was raised Baptist Christian, and I am bisexual; however, I left my church for Wicca before I came to the realization of my sexuality. I have nothing against Christianity, though some followers (like in all religions including my own), I take issue with.

    In terms of religon and Christianity…I had a lot of thoughts, but I think the best way to put it is this: most of the people Jesus had closest to him were the people that most modern churches would condemn. I doubt he would have had a problem with a moral person who happened to prefer relations with their own sex to ones with the opposite.


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