confirmation…

wow. okk soo GoD is AMAZING!!! or did you already know that?? lol. last week was a FANTASTIC WEEK!!! wednesday night was awesome nd then we turned around nd got a Rhema word on Thursday nd GoD really moved!!! Saturday GoD decided to reveal some things to me nd THEN sunday morning Apostle straight walked all up nd down my street with confirmation. like, who does that?? haha. he confirmed EVERYTHING that GoD had shown me on Saturday nd then Pastor turned around nd BLEW MY MIND on sunday afternoon. im just thanking Jesus for placing ppl in my path that make themselves available to the work of GoD. there are plenty of ppl that are in the pulpit without a purpose but ii have been BLESSED to be under the leadership of WONDERFUL men nd women of GoD that come with TRUTH!!!! thanking GoD for revelation nd confirmation.

towards the end

There are certain people in my life whose opinion I really kinda value. Not necessarily because of the positions that they hold but moreso because of the role that they have played in my life and continue to play. I tend to take a lot of people’s feelings into consideration when it comes to doing things in my life even if it means completely going against what it is that I want to do. Needless to say, usually I end up wondering what would have or could have happened if I would have just went with my heart. So that’s what I’m doing now. I’m going with my heart. I’m looking to God for guidance and I’m doing what’s right for me. Right now I’m on a journey to be something better. A journey that will open doors for me in the long run. It’s hard and every day I think about backing out but what is the alternative. Why continue to stay in the position that you are on because of fear or uncertainty?? While I’m scared and uncertain about whats to come I’m more excited about anything. I’m excited that I have a new life ahead of me. I’m excited that I am going on to do great and wonderful things and if no one else is proud of me I know that I am proud of me. I’m proud of the step that I have chosen to take and I am proud of the things that I have yet to accomplish. The closer that I get to the end of the countdown, the more excited I get. The more confident I become. The more sure of my decision I am. I am praying more now than EVER and truely making sure that God is in my corner but for now I’m just taking things one day at a time. There’s a lot going on in my life right now but it’s all good things that will benefit me in the long run. I’m finding stability in every single aspect of my life and it feels really good. I have something there. Something guaranteed. Something to fall back on and I love it. I love this life. I love the people in my life. And more that anything I love the discomfort because when you are too comfortable that means that something is not right. I’m moving forward and doing great things. Eventually, probably towards the end of this journey, I will let you all know what exactly is going on but for now…just keep me in your prayers.

the things GOD does…

ii know ii dont even really have the time to blog but ii just had to get this out. it’ll come back to bite me on tomorrow but ii had to take a few minutes just to say that GOD is awesome.

i’ll say to all you B-more ppl…if you missed Kickin It With the King on this past Friday night you truely missed a treat. it was a complete blessing in so many ways. now, as you all know ii was super excited to be going because AJB and Ap were going to be in the house and ii knew that they were going to shut the place down. we were in there enjoying the occasion…having a good hallelujah time and in the back of my mind im wondering when are they gonna bring out the fam. well…second to last.here they come. their name was called and after that God took over. okay…ii know AJB. see him quite often…talk to him…interact with him. ii know AP…talk to them too. just regular ordinary people with some SERIOUS talent. like super ridiculous talent. that is known…nothing new about it. ii know AJB is anointed in so many ways…no doubt about that. BUT WHAT II SAW FRIDAY NOT WAS BEYOND THIS WORLD.

the word says that many are called but few are chosen. this dude is chosen… ii know the talent but WWAAYY beyond that aspect of it ii was blown. ii honestly left out of there and in the back of my mind im thinking “God, how did you do that??” like seriously. it is truely unbelievable the anointing that is on this group of people. the anointing that is on this dude… its ridiculous. the crowd was hype and the second they walked onto the stage you could just feel the entire atmosphere change. ii told Jay yesterday that with each one of them that walked onto that stage more Jesus filled the sanctuary. ii was blown. completely. im still blown. ii dont know  how God can work thru someone in that way but it is amazing to me. and finally ii see what Nik was saying a few weeks ago. you talk to this dude and he’s just another one of them crazy regular retarded Brown brothers lol. but something happens when GOD begins to work thru him. and its not just in the singing or in the music…there’s something so JESUS about him. i’ve seen this dude minister without hitting a note…i’ve seen him speak words that couldnt have come from no one but God. it just blows my mind.

So ii say to you all reading this…find AP..google them. hit them up on the space. figure out when they are going to be in your area…do whatever it takes to be impacted by their ministry. and even beyond all of that. dont be afraid to let GOD use you. dont run from whatever it is that HE has in store for your life. most times we run from God because we are so afraid of what He has in store but the Bible says “seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God” dont be afraid of whatever it is that he has for your life because you never know how you can minister to someone else. you never know how your ministry can save someone’s life. so when it comes to doing the will of God…please dont hesitate. ii dont care if its the craziest thing that you could ever think…if its in the will of God.do it. In order to live for God or to be used by God you have to be able to submit. give up who you are in order to become who He wants you to be. You will be surprised how God can use you. He will do some miraculous things in your life if you just allow Him to work thru you.

www.myspace.com/ajb1981

new found hate for water…

personal shout out to Jesus, who is just awesome, for bringing my lil old self thru yet again. ii can never ever repay Him for all the miraculous things He does but while im down here ii might as well praise Him…

now…today, on the last friday of this month…ii was forced to drink so much water that my heart is literally swimming around inside of me lol. everyone knows that ii really dont like water. ii dont drink anymore than a few cups a day and even then it just disgusts me. but, today ii was forced to drink so much of it so ii could get my physical done for the new position at work. so, why did ii have to drink so much water?? BECAUSE NO ONE AT THE OFFICE TOLD ME IT WOULD BE A TWO HOUR WAIT BEFORE II WAS SEEN. so for two hours im drinking water and running to the bathroom like crazy waiting patiently for them to call my name. if ii would have known that the wait was so long ii would have started drinking that water around 10 minutes to 12 rather than at 9:30 this morning. ii do not want to see no water, taste no water, get in no water…ii dont even wanna take a shower til next week lol… ii promise, ii thought ii disliked water then…oh, ii despise it now. uurrgghh [[talk to you guys later, ii have to go pee now lmao]]

a place princesses go

ii am so happy to announce that Talia is going to Disney World…ii dont know when, ii dont know howbbut ii know Who. God is making a way and ii know that she just cant wait to go to Disney World.

 

He really does answer prayers

Cinderella awaits…

one day ii was on the space, not doing anything important and ii saw this lil gurl on Heb’s page. me in all of my curiosity, ii wanted to know who she was. ii automatically went to his blog and there was her story. links…more of her story. pictures, slide shows of this lil girl, beautiful as can be with the most precious smile i’ve ever seen. her eyes are so full of life and as ii sat there reading her story my eyes were full of tears. from that point on ii was amazed by this little gurl. her strength, her courage but more than anything God’s favor on her lil life. it must be something special in her for her to go thru all that she has endured and still smile that pretty smile.

today ii read some bad news. Talia cannot have surgery and right now that is the only cure for her cancer. her parents are faced with a problem….does she go thru treatment or not?? while ii am praying for her parents, family and friends ii am also praying for this young girl whose only wish is to go see Cinderella’s castle. well Talia, Cinderella’s castle is for princesses so ii think you would fit right in. ii wanna help, and ii dont know how to do that. ii know that there are fund raisers for the treatment and things like that but ii wanna give Talia a wish. maybe it wont bring a limo to take her an airport and maybe it wont put her up in a fancy hotel for a week but Talia wants to go to Cinderella’s Castle and the way ii see it….if she cant get there, Cinderella needs to come to her. pray for Talia Marie Pleasant and all those impacted by her life.

read Talia’s story

here’s some kleenex…dry your eyes

Fam….Tanae’ A. is going to see her future baby daddy on April 17, 2008…. Yes, this coming thursday ii will be in the place and ii owe a special thanks to my dearest and most favoritest uncle in the whole wide world!!! G~Man is alright with me… and thank you Jesus for putting a ram in the bush cause you know that my heart was slowly breaking piece by piece. God is faithful even when I aint….thats something to think about.

If everything goes smoothly as planned I will have my baby on friday….YaY!!

God will shock you…seriously.

ii promise, if ii were God ii would be one conceited bama up in heaven just grinning lolzz. seriously. God will do some stuff and have you shocked just waiting on His next move. this week started out a lil on the down side. ii was finding out truth that ii really didnt want to learn and in the process ii didnt realize that God was showing me a whole lot more than truth. He was showing me that He can show up in the midst of anything and make something good out of it. its crazy how one person can hurt three people in such a raunchy way that they are left wondering who this person is. but in the end we are left with the last laugh. she lost three great people that loved her to death but we only lost one person who used, manipulated and lied to us all. we lost one scum bag liar and gained two wonderful friends that are strong, beautiful ladies who have a heart of gold. they always say that what the devil means for evil, God makes for good and ii never really saw that until now. we are faced with a situation that we cant just walk away from but we are so much better because of it. God found a way to put three ladies together that are strong enough to help carry one another thru this tough time. He gave me two great people, and a crazy sister, to help me laugh in the midst of my hurt. He showed me that in everything the ones that trust Him and keep Him first will be the true conquerors. In the end, I can laugh at this all and know that we are victorious and she has been defeated. I can go to sleep at night and be content after praying that God has mercy on her. I can wake in the morning and feel refreshed because I didnt lose any sleep over what has happened. God has managed to amuse me…its fun to just sit back, relax and watch Him work. He’s an awesome God and ii know He hasta look at Hisself sometimes and think just how GREAT He is… ii love this life. Thank You God!!

a breath of fresh air

It was December of 05 when me and my honey first got together. At the time, I was this lil bad girl doing everything that I shouldnt be doing and he was this sheltered good boy. We came from two different backgrounds and because of that I thought that he was somehow better than me. I felt as tho I didnt deserve him and for a long time I wouldn’t get with him because of that. Needless to say, over the past three years our roles have switched. Im the good girl now and he’s the bad boy. Now, I’m like what the hell was I thinking lolzz.

A lil while ago I met my bae. He came out of the blue and just completely swept me off my feet. For a split second tho, I thought who am I to deserve him. The thought only lasted a second and then I came back to earth and realized that I do deserve someone that good because I am that good. He’s a good guy, really. Not perfect, but good. Keeps God first in everything. Writes poetry that is out of this world and is just genuine and real. Sometimes I do think about what I did to deserve something this good but then I remember that I’m something good too. He’s my breath of fresh air and for once I have noo expectations… I just wanna inhale lol.

im ok…

Yesterday morning, I woke up to a very sweet txt message. I got dressed, talked to my mommy and then headed out the door to go to court. From there I went to work and the first thing I did was get some white cheddar popcorn. I flipped on the radio and jammed to 95.9 all day long. Work was cool, I finished up on some stuff and then went out to lunch. The weather was so nice so I decided to take a walk over to Apple Tree. I came back, ate and then got back to work. Before I knew it 4:30 was here and I was ready to go. For once, I was happy that the bus came late because I wanted to stand outside and enjoy the nice weather. The ride home was quick, quiet and peaceful. I walked to 7-eleven for some chips and dip and then went in the house to eat. I sat up in my room talking to my bae all day long and then went to join my sister in front of the t.v. By the time 9:30 came around I was in such a good mood that I was just ready to hit the bed lolzz. Then I got a phone call from someone that I did not want to talk to so I ignored it. Then I got a message from that same person telling me to call them back. So of course I wanted to know what was so urgent to talk about and they went on to tell me that our “friendship” is not working. lol…oh you’re serious. Ok, even that did not piss me off and I was so proud of myself cause I just laughed it off. I called the person back after while and was told that they would call me today. I said goodnite to all the important people and went to sleep. The sun woke me up this morning. Woke me up a whole lot early but I felt refreshed so I wasn’t mad. I got up, took a shower, got dressed, checked my email and was out the door by 8:11. The bus came on time and again the weather was nice. I got to work ON TIME and in such a good mood and part of me wants this day to go soo slow because I am in no hurry to get to tomorrow lolzz. I’m ok. For once in my entire life I am truely okay with everything. I realized that the contentment that I feel is within myself and when I feel ok within me than everything around me will be ok too. So, to anyone out there that is going to try to piss me off today you might as well keep going because its not going to work. I am finally okay and it dont get no better than this. Thank You God!!